You ever notice how every law enforcement agency on TV and the movies is able to solve crimes by enhancing grainy footage? Of course you have, because it’s the one thing that every police computer can do that nobody’s personal computer can do. Well, that and find the states where I’m a sex offender. Whatever, I didn’t want to live in Alabama anyway.

That’s why this awesomely edited mash-up from dunk3d is one of the best things I’ve seen all week. The shows listed in the tags don’t even make a complete list of all the shows used in this clip, and it doesn’t even include the handful of movies that made the cut, as well.

There is, however, one glaring omission:

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Happy Birthday Brad! Signed, Everyone from the Message Board

Sci Fi Wire compiled a gallery of 17 cakes inspired by science fiction, and naturally five of them are related to “Battlestar Galactica.” That’s as many as Star Wars had, and more than “Star Trek” garnered. I’m telling you, BSG fans are freakin’ scary. They’re like Trekkies with an interest in politics. Politics, and decorative cake-making. You just don’t get that kind of crossover in sci fi fans usually. You should see them during Mardi Gras. The trinket in the king cake is a 12-sided die.

Here’s the new trailer for the TV movie “Battlestar Galactica: The Plan,” which chronicles the same story as the TV show from the viewpoint of the Cylons.  Before watching the clip, I was pretty skeptical; I don’t see how you can cram the other side of a story that lasted five seasons into a two-hour episode.  But I have to admit: this looks good.  Of course, I say that every time someone says, “Let’s get this genocide started!”  That line would have really improved Hotel Rwanda.

Coming to DVD in September is Battlestar Galactica: The Plan, which will cover the same story as the TV series — only it will show it from the Cylons’ perspective.  Edward James Olmos, star of the Sci Fi hit, directed the movie and shared some of its details with fans last week in Los Angeles.

“You see the complete opposite of the first 281 days of what we went through, … seen through the eyes of the Cylons, and it is breathtaking. It’s fantastic. It’s not fun, but I will say that you will sit there [gasping].” [...]

Olmos gave credit to writer Jane Espenson, who wrote the entire script, and his lead actor. “I have to tell you right now, Dean Stockwell is a brilliant artist,” Olmos said. “He does a magnificent job of leading The Plan. The Plan is exactly that. It was how they planned to do what they did and what happened. It was monumental. All I can tell you is it’s an extraordinary look at the Cylons, how they masterminded what they did.”

It’s pretty hard for me to pretend like I care about this stuff, but I’m inclined to think that the most extraordinary look at the Cylons is one in which Tricia Helfer is naked.  I don’t want to sound like I’m too down on humanity, but if alien robots that looked like Tricia Helfer wanted to sleep with me, I would sell out the entire human race in a heartbeat.  Hey, what have you done for me lately?

At an auction for “Battlestar Galactica” memorabilia, the famed red dress worn by Tricia Helfer’s cylon character (“Number Six”) sold for $23,000, making it the most expensive item purchased there.  The high price was the result of a bidding war between two prospective buyers — presumably overweight white men with bad haircuts.

Second only to Six’s dress, Starbuck’s flight suit sold for $16,500 to an Internet bidder; meanwhile, the “Battlestar 75″ seal from the “Weapons Control” section of CIC sold for $16,000, significantly eclipsing its estimated sale price of $600-$800. Another item estimated to sell for less than $1,000, “Kara’s Bizarre Painting on Canvas,” went for $15,000.

Sounds like a pretty good way to spend $23,000.  Sure, it’d be nice to have the metal bikini Princess Leia wore in Return of the Jedi, but this dress would feel way better wrapped around your penis.

Hey, remember when Tricia Helfer got naked in Playboy?  Now THAT’S something I’d pay $23,000 to keep in my house, heh heh.  P.S. I’m talking about Tricia, not the Playboy magazine.  In case that wasn’t clear.