I’m trying to avoid getting caught up in TV news stories that make me think too much, so I’ve decided to share this bad-ass time-lapse video from the BBC One series “Frozen Planet.” I don’t really understand the scientific explanation (again, I’m trying not to think today), so here’s your token blockquote:

In winter, the air temperature above the sea ice can be below -20C, whereas the sea water is only about -1.9C. Heat flows from the warmer sea up to the very cold air, forming new ice from the bottom. The salt in this newly formed ice is concentrated and pushed into the brine channels. And because it is very cold and salty, it is denser than the water beneath.

The result is the brine sinks in a descending plume. But as this extremely cold brine leaves the sea ice, it freezes the relatively fresh seawater it comes in contact with. This forms a fragile tube of ice around the descending plume, which grows into what has been called a brinicle. [BBC via tywkiwdbi]

Whatever, man. Here’s what you need to know: the brinicle hits the sea floor and freezes a whole bunch of sea urchins and starfish, Day After Tomorrow-style. I can’t believe I ever questioned the science in that movie.

(thanks @flubby)

The next “Doctor Who” adventure is a Christmas special called “The Doctor, The Widow, and The Wardrobe,” and I’ve got a couple clips below for people who liked the Narnia stories but always felt they needed more science fiction aspects.

In the first clip, Matt Smith appears in character as the Doctor, and takes his clothes off for a children’s charity (“Brilliant!” — Jerry Sandusky). He then introduces the trailer for the Christmas special. The second clip is just the trailer minus the Doctor stripping, on the off chance that you don’t want to see two minutes of a tweedy Brit prancing around just to get to the main event. I’m not quite sure what makes Doctor Who so popular with his legions of devoted fans, but I’ll give him this: I wouldn’t bet against him in a tickle fight.

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The second mini-season of the BBC’s acclaimed “Luther” aired in the U.K. this summer, and it will debut on BBC America on September 28th. Idris Elba (Stringer Bell from “The Wire”) stars as Detective Chief Inspector John Luther, a brilliant cop whose obsession with his work drags him down into the immoral muck of the crimes he tries to solve.

And I have to say, judging by the trailer below, it looks to be about as metal as British television can get. A quick rundown of the stats in the trailer:

• Cups of tea: zero
• Scones: zero
• Crumpets: zero
• Instances of a bad guy nailing Luther’s hand to a table: 1

This is a step in the right direction, England. You might even be a badass country one day if you just relax your gun laws and education standards. Trust me, it’s worth it. *lights illegal fireworks*

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This BBC report (video below) documents how 15-year-old Chloe Holmes got a bionic hand after she lost the fingers on her left hand from chicken pox-related blood poisoning, making her the youngest person in Europe to be fitted with bionic fingers. It’s a marvel of science and technology… and yet all I want to do is make a joke about the first high schooler in Europe to get a bionic handjob. I’m going to hell.

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Below is the trailer for the second half of “Doctor Who’s” sixth season (of its current iteration), which premieres August 27th. It’s got everything “Doctor Who” fans love: a time-traveling telephone booth, silly-looking monsters, and campy charm that does nothing for me. I do, however, enjoy watching Hitler get punched, which happens around the 35-second mark. Hitler getting punched is like tits or kittens: everything is improved by it. In fact, I will make this solemn vow: if there is a movie or TV show that has tits, kittens, AND Hitler getting punched in it, I will watch it and love it. Even if Ashton Kutcher is in it.

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