Inspired by Bear Grylls, a 29-year-old British man, David Austin, decided to embark on a year-long adventure in the Scottish wilderness. Unfortunately, the man died in under a month, likely from hypothermia. His body wasn’t discovered until weeks after he had died.

Austin is said to have known what he was getting into. Apparently, he had taken a few courses on bushcraft skills and outdoor survival for the past two years. It was always his dream to rough it out for a whole year, and he had taken time off of work to accomplish this. He wanted to be at the mercy of the harsh winter so badly that he did not even carry a mobile phone with him. Last November, he had informed his family that he would be heading north on a survival mission and now the news of his death has left them dumbfounded. (Source: OddityCentral via Burnsy)

The exact cause of his death will always remain a mystery, although “it was f**king cold” could be described as the inexact cause. I feel bad for the guy’s family, but then again, David Austin knew what he was getting himself into. If you’re going to emulate Bear Grylls, besides drinking your own urine, you might also take a cell phone, a camera crew, and spend a few nights in hotels. If it’s any consolation, Austin lost to a much bigger force than Bear Grylls. Nature is out there, and it’s play or get played. Mother Nature is a bitch, and no amount of urine drinking will spare you from 12 months — or even three weeks — of freezing temperatures and heavy snow.

Every year, Discovery faces a drop-off in ratings once Shark Week ends. The solution, of course, is do-it-yourself survival enemas. Last year, it was Bear Grylls giving himself a memorable bat guano enema while adrift in the Pacific. And now we have this clip from Season 2 of “Man, Woman, Wild” (premiering September 2nd), in which Ruth England gives her husband Mikel Hawke an enema with a gas tube and some dirty rainwater in order to keep him hydrated.

I have to say, British accents really class up a MacGyver-style hydration enema. Grylls had the winning line of “Lie back and think of England!,” Ruth England cheerfully uses the terms “backside” instead of “anal sphincter,” and Hawke’s straight-faced delivery of “Now I’m gonna configure to receive enema” is a pretty highbrow way of saying, “This tube’s goin’ in my pooper.”

“Man, Woman, Wild” Season 2 preview below; enema clip here.

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As you probably noticed, I was bubbling for weeks about Jake Gyllenhaal’s appearance on last night’s season premiere of “Man Vs Wild,” because there’s nothing I enjoy more than injecting homoeroticism into a scene between two hunky men. And as you can see in the video below, the event did not disappoint, as Gyllenhaal and Bear Grylls stripped off their shirts to cross an icy river arm-in-arm. “Nice and controlled, nice and steady,” Grylls says. “Keep holding me.” And then, as noted before:

Bear: It takes balls, I’m not joking.
Jake: Well, they’re right up in my throat right now.

GRRRR SHIRTLESS RIVER CROSSING! JUST TWO MEN SURVIVING MOTHER NATURE TOGETHER! WHICH WAY TO THE LUMBERJACK CONVENTION?

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As I noted last week, Bear Grylls and Jake Gyllenhaal shared an Icelandic snow cave while filming the season premiere of “Man Vs. Wild,” and now we have a promo video for the episode, which promises to answer the question “Does nature have the balls to take on to two men THIS HANDSOME?”

Anyway, the episode looks good, and Gyllenhaal seems game for some crazy stuff (by which I mean dangerous outdoor activities, not kinky sex acts). But since we’re going to go straight for the gay innuendo anyway, I should probably share the money quote:

Bear: It takes balls, I’m not joking.
Jake: Well, they’re right up in my throat right now.

Yep. That’s Jake Gyllenhaal talking about testicles in his throat. To a man named Bear. For the Discovery Channel. I’m just gonna clock out and call it a day.

[PopWrap]

Following the success of Will Ferrell’s appearance on “Man Vs Wild” two years ago, Bear Grylls has enlisted another big-name celebrity for the upcoming season premiere of Discovery’s adventure show: Jake Gyllenhaal. Please read the following blockquotes while listening to the score of Brokeback Mountain:

For two days, Bear and Jake embark on a survival experience neither will forget, to an Icelandic landscape dominated by mountains, huge glaciers and some of Europe’s most active volcanoes [I wonder if there were any eruptions - Ed.]. Jake will have to go where Bear goes, eat whatever Bear eats, and on occasion even take the lead, if he’s going to cope with some of the worst conditions known to man. “For me, it’s all about discovery,” said Gyllenhaal.

Said Bear about the experience, “The wild is always very revealing – not only physically but mentally. You’ve got to smile when it’s driving horizontal hail and be able to face your fears and just get on and do it — and on both of those accounts, Jake came up strong.” [Reality TV Website via Towleroad]

Let the gay innuendo commence. Oh, and don’t even think for a second that that’s all there is. Like Dan Savage always says, it gets better:

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