America’s Next Top Model (CW) — The models do a shoot where they’re made to look biracial. And in this case, “biracial” means “make a white person African.” I guess it’s not blackface if you paint the whole body. (See gallery at Jezebel.)

World Series (Fox) — Game 1: Phillies at Yankees. Looks like it’s done raining in New York, so there’s an outside chance this series ends before mid-November. But don’t worry: Joe Buck and Tim McCarver will make it feel MUCH longer.

Modern Family (ABC) –Nothing to say. Just mad love.

Friday Night Lights (DirecTV) — Season premiere. Coach Taylor’s now working over at East Dillon. Pretty sad that you can be in the anus of west Texas, and there’s still a bad side of town.

Top Chef (Bravo) — Natalie Portman is the guest judge, which would be all kinds of awesome if not for the fact that you just KNOW she’s going to impose her veganism on the chefs’ cooking requirements. By the way, that is NOT a spoiler. It’s just my guess. I could be wrong.

South Park (Comedy Central) — This is the episode I talked about yesterday with all the Japanese dolphin-killing. Do you know why the Japanese kill dolphins? Jealousy. Dolphins are the perverts of the seas. They rape octopi with their own tentacles.

Harry Connick, Jr. was a judge on the Australian variety show “Hey Hey It’s Saturday,” and the actor/singer was less than impressed with the “Jackson Jive,” a blackface act they insist was a humorous tribute. The act is pretty painful to watch, but Connick lays a delightful smackdown at 2:15, then comes back after a commercial break with a polite but firm “this is actually very insulting to black people” explanation (see 4:40).

I understand that other cultures have different senses of humor, and just because something is conventional wisdom in America doesn’t necessarily mean it should translate across international boundaries. But I think the rest of the world really needs to follow our lead on the blackface issue. You can tell us what is and isn’t racially insensitive after your country fights a war over white people owning black people.

[Movieline]

After the death of Michael Jackson, Japanese television provided a restrained and tasteful outlet for the nation’s mourning. Just kidding, of course. TV Tokyo’s “Champions” held a competition between Jackson fans to see who could moonwalk 30 meters the fastest. And the first two competitors did it in blackface, because of course they did. Why not? How many black people in Japan could possibly call in to complain? Three? Four? Japanese people have it so easy. They don’t even have to look around or ask if anyone’s Jewish before telling a racist joke. Or pretend it’s an accident and apologize when they fondle women on the subway. What a country.

[Japan Probe]