Big news in the world of high-minded literature today, as “Gossip Girl” will be made into a Japanese manga comic. I’m going to assume that the story was first broken by the leading trade magazine Tentacle Rape Daily.

Written and illustrated by HyeKyung Baek, “Gossip Girl: For Your Eyes Only” will pull from the same source material as the hit CW television series chronicling the lives of students at an elite private school in New York City, while also offering “an original re-imagination of the girls’ senior year focusing on the lives of Blair and Vanessa.” [MTV]

Waaaaaaaaaaaait a second. Hye-Kyung Baek? That’s a Korean name. Koreans aren’t even half as perverse as the Japanese. I’m sorry, but if this doesn’t feature a hypersexualized cartoon version of Blake Lively getting groped on the subway, I’m just not interested.

On Saturday night, Blake Lively and Kenan Thompson performed in a sketch that made fun of the unfolding Tiger Woods story (video below). Specifically, it addressed the allegation that Elin Woods attacked Tiger before he crashed his Cadillac. And because Rihanna was performing that night, the skit was tasteless, according to people who get offended for other people.

“We think, had the genders been reversed, ‘SNL’ wouldn’t make light of the potentially violent situation” noted PopEater in an article titled “‘SNL’ Lampoons Alleged Violence in Tiger Woods’ Marriage,” on Sunday.

Female-oriented site Jezebel called the sketch one of the show’s “obvious missteps… when you consider that Rihanna was the night’s musical guest.”

While over on The TV Squad blog, a writer called out the Rihanna connection…“Had the tables been turned and a man was suspected of beating up his wife, there definitely wouldn’t be a lighthearted sketch like this.” [Access Hollywood]

Three things: 1. A parody of something is not a statement that something like domestic abuse is okay, and the fact that female-to-male violence flips the gender stereotypes is precisely why it’s (theoretically) funny. 2. Let’s let Rihanna decide what’s inconsiderate to Rihanna. 3. By far and away the most offensive part of the sketch is Kenan Thompson’s acting. Why don’t people get more upset about that? That guy’s terrible.

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Blake Lively hosted this weekend’s episode of “Saturday Night Live” with musical guest Rihanna, and while I haven’t watched the whole episode yet, I’d be willing to bet that there’s never been a host/musical guest combination that I’d more eagerly saw off one of my legs in order to have sex with. I don’t know who would ask me to saw off my leg or why that person would have the power to grant me access to Blake and Rihanna’s respective vaginas, but the offer stands. Ginsu knife, chainsaw, rusty butter knife, whatever. Just as long as there’s a spare tourniquet for my penis.

Below, some key clips from the episode.

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Matronly Squirrel disapproves of these floozies’ attention-grabbing pose.

Blake Lively, star of “Gossip Girl” and a particularly vivid recurring sex dream I have, will host the December 5th episode of “Saturday Night Live.”

The immediate concern here might be, “Uh oh, pretty girl alert — this could be a disaster like the January Jones episode,” but I’m optimistic. Lively appeared in a digital short when James Franco hosted, and she and Jimmy Fallon put together a pretty solid skit when she was on “Late Night” this week. She seems pretty down to earth with passable comic timing, so I think it could be a good episode. Assuming, that is, that the “SNL” writers don’t mail it in — aw, crap. They’re gonna mail it in, aren’t they? Damn. Guess I’ll have to resort to ogling her glorious cans. Which was really my plan from the start anyway.

Nice jacket. Blake Lively of “Gossip Girl” has excellent fashion sense. Boobs are so in right now. [Guyism]

Can’t I just get it On Demand? The “Always Sunny” cast talks about their special holiday DVD, “A Very Sunny Christmas.” Probably the only time I’ll be interested in something that involves a naked Danny DeVito. Probably. [Fancast]

The 30 Best TV Series of the ’00s: A solid compilation from the well-respected the Onion’s A.V. Club. I’d bump “Venture Bros.” and “Six Feet Under” up the list a little bit, but otherwise I don’t have too many complaints. [A.V. Club]

Fired or not fired? Jennifer Morrison, who plays Cameron on “House,” responds to questions about her character leaving the show: “I really don’t know. All I know is that I don’t know. And they keep making it very clear to me that I don’t know.” Got it. [E Online]

The Ten Longest and Awesomest Fight Scenes of All Time. Dude, HUGE props for the inclusion of The Quiet Man. An underrated classic — and my favorite John Wayne movie. [Topless Robot]

You have to be kidding. Twilight author Stephanie Meyer is the subject of a comic book. As in, they made a biographical comic book about her. It looks terrible and ridiculous. [Comics Alliance]