Oh man, as videos of news readers ignoring punctuation go, this is even better than that time the BBC’s Jonathan Charles was kept hidden for two decades and forced to bear children.
What a great way to call in sick. “Hey boss, I can’t make it in today. Yeah, I’m not feeling well. I’ve got a bad case of… uh… murder! Yeah, I got murdered. And set on fire. I think it’s just a 24-hour thing, though.”
The other day some news lady mistakenly called Jesse Jackson Al Sharpton. As live news bloopers go, it was pretty lame: there was no accidental swear word or or sexual innuendo or giant seagull. I mean, it’s definitely an insult to Jackson, who can be an annoying blowhard but isn’t quite the annoying blowhard that Sharpton is. But still: lame.
AND THEN. Someone done gone and added Keyboard Cat. And Keyboard Cat spices up a party like no animal since Spuds McKenzie. I love Keyboard Cat. It breaks my heart that there are people starving and dying of AIDS in Africa who’ve never had the simple pleasure of Keyboard Cat. I should really send them something to help out their dire predicament. Like a link to this URL. What, they don’t have email? Pfff, never mind.
I’ve watched this clip of Australian news stalwart Peter Hitchener four times, and it still makes me chuckle. Anything else I might add would only ruin it for you. Please do enjoy.
[via Videogum]
Ah, live news bloopers. I don’t think this one is brand new to the Internet, but I hadn’t seen it until today: a news anchor can’t contain her laughter as she details the grisly murder of a woman who was chopped into pieces by her husband. And I had to transcribe this because it’s just too precious not to see in print:
“In Michigan, police have arrested a man suspected of chopping up his wife… The 37-year-old man is accused in the death of his wife, [laughing] Tara Lynn Grant. A torso and body parts [laughing] of who is believed to be the mother of two were found this weekend in and near the Grant home [laughing].”
Oh, stop it, stop it! You’re killing me here! Limbless torso, ha ha ha! Hey, I bet she could model for some ancient Grecian sculpture! If she weren’t decomposing in the garbage, ha ha! Oh man. Hoooo. But go on. How are her kids doing?
[via Hot Clicks]
Ernie Anastos anchors the local Fox news in New York City, but he may be looking for work in Jefferson City or Des Moines after giving some questionable advice on fornicating with barnyard animals, then following that up by ogling women in workout clothes in a preview segment. And as you’ll surely notice in the video, the best part is the mortified look on co-anchor Dari Alexander’s face before she forces it back to a newsy smile:
I’d really like “Keep f-cking that chicken” to enter the language as a common expression, like “it is what it is” or “what’re ya gonna do?” The next time someone tells me about how they’re struggling with something, I’m definitely going to tell them to keep f-cking the chicken. Then I’ll send them these pictures for motivation.
The biggest laugh of the day so far comes courtesy Jonathan Charles of the BBC, who rushed into the evening’s top news story perhaps a bit too quickly. I think he should do a similar sign-on every day. “This is BBC World News Today. I’m Jonathan Charles the result of a massive oil spill that killed thousands of baby seals.” “I’m Jonathan Charles forced into sexual slavery as a child.” “I’m Jonathan Charles the man who committed three gruesome murders.”
