You wanna know what I like better than local news bloopers on live TV? Local news bloopers on live TV… WITH JETPACKS!!! The clip below is short and excellent: a be-jetpacked man named John is supposed to introduce Fox 5′s “Hello San Diego,” but instead he loses control, bumps into reporter Matt Johnson, and crashes into the water. It’s sublime. *kisses fingers*

By the way, in case you want to see one of these water-powered jetpacks working properly, here’s one flying around set to theme from 2001: A Space Odyssey. But I think I prefer the crash video. No, I definitely prefer the crash video. The world needs more videos of jetpack crashes.

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Here’s a local news blooper from Cleveland’s Fox 8 in which anchorwoman Tracy McCool of the “News in the Morning” program loses her composure while reporting the story of a West Virginia man who was arrested for DUI and then got an additional charge for stinky farts. Frankly, I’m disappointed in her lack of professionalism. I mean, it’s a well-known fact that 90% of news stories* in Ohio and West Virginia are about DUIs or farts, so you think she’d be used to this by now.

*The other ten percent: burning couches.

[HuffPo via BuzzFeed]

In most cases, old people are useless. They’re grumpy and they smell weird and they move slowly and they’re confused by anything made after 1980. They’re using up our precious resources without contributing to society, and we should really look into using them as an alternate energy source. (Seriously, in twenty years, my statements will be taken seriously and I’ll be seen as a visionary.)

The rare exception is the old person who simply does not give a fck. These are the old people I admire, and the man in this video is one such maverick. He simply rolls up on a live TV interview and starts making animal noises. And then, having made his point, he walks off like a total boss. That’s the kind of old man I want to be: drinking at 10 a.m., wandering around the streets and meowing at people. Assuming I don’t get burned for fuel first.

[via BuzzFeed]

I’m not sure whose idea it was to film a news report within biting distance of a known A-hole animal like a camel, but I have to salute NBC12 in Richmond, Va. for giving it a try. “Okay, let’s do this. The camel’s presence can ONLY improve the report!”

[BuzzFeed]

Because I’m a stereotypically uncultured American, I don’t speak a word of Portuguese (it sounds kinda like Japanese to me), but that doesn’t take anything away from this Brazilian news clip, in which a reporter interviews a policewoman who’s perfectly poised on camera — until she finishes her response. The dramatic crash of her face is a pure delight. This is by far and away the best Brazilian video without almost-nude, thong-wearing women that I’ve ever seen.

NOTE:  This is also the first Brazilian video without almost-nude, thong-wearing women that I have ever seen.

[BuzzFeed]