Hey, remember Paris Hilton? Well, she apparently still exists, and she stars in this Brazilian commercial for Devassa Bem Loura beer. It’s typical “pretend this fake-looking blonde is sexy” stuff, but it doesn’t seem likely to air in Brazil. Ad Gabber says:

No less that three investigations into the ad have been launched. It’s too “sensual.” It encourages excessive consumption. It’s sexist and disrespectful to women.

Um, this is the Brazil on planet Earth we’re talking about, right? The Brazil where it’s okay for JOURNALISTS to pose for pictures like this (NSFW)? Sorry, I hate to point out the obvious here, but if anything this commercial is going to get banned for not being sexy enough. There are millions — literally, millions – of women in Brazil who could make that commercial sexier than Paris Hilton.

In Brazil, the “Canal Livre” TV show frequently obtained exclusive first images from murder scenes, often arriving at the scene of the crime before police.  How did they do it?  Police claim that the show’s host, state legislator Wallace Souza, was organizing the hits to eliminate competitors in the drug trade — and to boost ratings.

Police said Wallace Souza faces charges of drug trafficking, gang formation and weapons possession, but has not been charged with any killings.

Souza remains free because of legislative immunity that prevents him from being arrested as long as he is a lawmaker. He is being investigated by a special task force, and state judicial authorities will decide whether the case goes forward…

“We believe that they organized a kind of death squad to execute rivals who disputed with them the drug trafficking business,” [police] said.  Souza, [police] charged, “would eliminate his rival and use the killing as a news story for his program.”

The whole story is eight different kinds of awesome.  Souza denies everything and makes counter-charges of pedophilia, the only witness is a disgraced police officer allegedly seeking leniency for nine homicides he’s charged with, Souza’s son murdered a man by suffocating him with his ass cheeks…  Okay, so I made that last part up, but the point is that everything is better in Brazil: the politics, the crime, the TV, and — above all else — the asses.

This clip from Tru TV is from a Brazilian TV show where the bikini dancers fight like unspayed cats.  I watched it and couldn’t help but be relieved that I’m not saddled with the trouble of dating some hot Brazilian girl.  **cuddles RealDoll**