NBC broadcasts the nightly news live every day at 6:30 p.m., but the live flagship new program didn’t stop some genius from conducting a fire alarm eight seconds into Brian Williams’s newscast. Williams handles it like a true pro, but it’s still sad to watch — like Michael Jordan in a Wizards uniform, or a polar bear on a melting iceberg.

C’mon, NBC: set your fire drills during the Hoda/Kathie Lee hour of “Today” — nobody likes hearing them talk, and they’ll turn it into a drinking game.

More video below, via The Daily What and The Set.

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Bob Costas landed a phone interview with former Penn State coordinator and alleged child rapist Jerry Sandusky that aired on last night’s “Rock Center,” and all I can say is WOW Sandusky should NOT be giving interviews. He folded like a cheap suit.

Costas: Mr. Sandusky, there is a 40-count indictment, the grand jury report contains specific details. There are multiple accusers, multiple eyewitnesses to various aspects of the abuse. A reasonable person says, “Where there is this much smoke, there must be plenty of fire.” What do you say?
Sandusky: I say that I am innocent of those charges.
Costas: Innocent? Completely innocent and falsely accused in every aspect?
Sandusky: Well, I could say that, you know, I have done some of those things. I have horsed around with kids. I have showered after workouts. I have hugged them and I have touched their legs, without intent of sexual contact. But, um… uh … So, if you look at it that way … uh … there are things that … that … uh … wouldn’t … uh, you know, would be accurate.

Even worse is how long it took for Sandusky to say that he’s not sexually attracted to young boys. It’s barely even a denial.

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Television viewership was down considerably last night, as people got their fat asses off their couches to take their dumb wiener kids out trick-or-treating. But viewership was ESPECIALLY low for “Rock Center,” which debuted on NBC last night; only 4.1 million people watched the new Brian Williams show.

That is below the average for the canceled The Playboy Club that Rock Center replaced (down 38% in the demo from The Playboy Club premiere last month) and lower than the performance of NBC’s veteran newsmagazine Dateline on the less-trafficked Sunday night. It marked NBC’s lowest Monday debut ever… NBC (1.2/3, 4.3 million) once again finished fifth on Monday among adults 18-49 behind the other major English-language broadcast networks and Univision. [Deadline]

“We’re not doing this as a ratings play. We’re not kidding ourselves, we know it’s going to take some time to get established,” said NBC News president Steve Capus during a conference call with reporters Oct. 24. [THR]

Well, at least NBC’s being clear that it’s not making a ratings play. I guess in that regard, “Rock Center” is a huge success.

(I don’t know what’s going on in that picture, by the way. Brian Williams just looked lonely, so I gave him some sad animal friends.)

Here’s video of Brian Williams’s recent appearance on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” (which is like “Fox and Friends,” but for liberal morons instead of conservative morons). Williams recognizes that he’s surrounded by dimwits talking about a boring subject, so he takes the opportunity to make fun of the New York Times writing stories about Brooklyn. It’s excellent.

“There are young men and women wearing ironic glass frames on the streets. There are open-air markets — like trading posts in the early Chippewa tribe — where you can make beads at home and trade them for someone to come and start a small fire in your apartment that you share with nine others. Artisanal cheeses for sale on the streets of an entire American borough!”

I dunno, maybe it’s a little too inside-baseball, but Williams’s sarcasm is clear even if you don’t live in New York or read the Times.

By the way, the Williams-hosted “NBC Nightly News” just finished a quarter of kicking the pants off the ABC and CBS national newscasts. I think that he should take those numbers for granted and start reading the nightly news with a dry sarcasm. I’d pay money to watch Brian Williams give a dismissive wanking gesture to a human-interest story.

(thanks to Vinny for sharing)

Because my penis has a pay-per-view contract, I have yet to try out Chatroulette. But it’s hard not to notice everyone else noticing it, and when everyone on the Internet starts paying attention to something, then reporters unfamiliar with the Web are sure to follow.

Which brings us to last night’s “Daily Show” (video below). Jon Stewart examined the media coverage of the Internet’s latest dong-rich phenomenon:

Chatroulette is a lot like Russian roulette, but instead of one bullet and five empty chambers, there are five cock-filled chambers and one chamber for reporters who think they’ll be breaking the latest tech trend. Only to find themselves surrounded by cock.

…and then turned to a segment in which he went on Chatroulette and encountered various dicks, as well as media heavyweights like Katie Couric, Brian Williams, and Keith Olbermann. EDIT: “…he went on Chatroulette and encountered various dicks, Katie Couric, and Brian Williams.”

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