“Burn Notice” star Jeffrey Donovan caught a huge break in his DUI case, cutting a deal with Miami prosecutors to plead down to a lesser charge of reckless driving.

Donovan was arrested for DUI in 2009 after peacefully driving home without incident. Then, later that night, he watched a video tape of an incident that showed him almost crashing into a cop car, then telling the officer, “The only mistake I made tonight was drinking Benadryl with 3 glasses of wine.” He screamed “That’s not true! That’s not true!” but nobody would listen to him.

According to court documents filed in Miami, because Burn Notice is also real life, Jeffrey was sentenced to six months probation and ordered to pay more than a $1000 in fines and other charges. If he’d been convincted for DUI, he would’ve faced six months in prison. No word yet on what sentence he faces for having a blood orgy, eating an owl and killing those tourists at Coffin Rock.

I’m trying to make jokes here, but Jesus Christ, what was Blair Witch 2 even about.

Burn Notice (USA) – The fall premiere of USA’s biggest dramatic draw.  I didn’t look at the episode description, but I imagine it will break down like this: “Who burned me?” “Hey, you need help. I can do this accent.” [Insert Bruce Campbell one liner.] “Aw, MOM! Quit it!” [Fiona beats up someone twice her size while not wearing a bra.] BANGBOOMBANG.  “Seriously you guys, who burned  me?”  Roll credits.

Community (NBC) – From TV Guide, “Everyone’s a suspect when Annie’s favorite pen goes missing, so the group lock themselves in until the thief is found.”  Hey, I’ve got a pen she can use right here (*reaches into pocket, produces Pilot Dr. Grip pen*).

30 Rock (NBC) – John Slattery (Roger Sterling from “Mad Men”) guests stars as a congressional candidate.  Poor guy, always getting typecast as sleazy, well-dressed man-whores.  Wait, did I say “poor guy”?  I meant “lucky sumbitch.”

It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia (FX) – The gang’s previously alluded to production of Lethal Weapon 5 is presented.  Excitement levels are running dangerously high for this episode

A Few Good Men (AMC) – I only mention this to direct you to KSK, where Matt discussed tracking down someone who tried to get him fired from Warming Glow by sending a bitchy Tweet to the Uproxx account.  I imagine the conversation going something like the “You can’t handle the truth” speech Nicholson gives in the movie.  “Son, we live in a world that has blogs, and those blogs have to be guarded by men with guns.  Who’s gonna do it.  YOU?!  You, Lt. VinceFromFilmDrunk?!” (video after the jump)

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Burn Notice (USA) — Season finale. “Burn Notice” is totally the skanky summer fling you don’t want your friends to meet. It was fun, but falls coming and it’s time to date someone who’s worth your while.

Futurama (Comedy Central) — Katee Sackhoff guest stars. If “Futurama” had originally been as good as it’s been this season, it never would have been canceled in the first place. (Watch a clip of Future Matt Groening at Comic Con here.)

Stan Lee’s Superhumans (History) — This actually looks kind of cool. The show profiles real-life weirdos who might be considered X-Men if you squint kinda hard and have a really good imagination.

NFL Preseason (ESPN) — Colts at Packers. Aaron Rodgers has completed more than 80% of his passes in the preseason. He is SO going to suffer a season-ending injury during Week 1.

Project Runway (Bravo) — Ooohh, the contestants have to work in teams on tonight’s challenges. That always makes for the best episodes. And by “best” I mean “cattiest.” They’re synonymous.

Jersey Shore (MTV) — Sammi finds the anonymous letter and decides she’s done with Ronnie. For about half the episode, anyway. I hate the way producers have forced story lines on the show this season. I want to shake the crap out of the person who thought they needed to spice up the working formula they had the first season. They’re Guidos; just let them go out and drink and fight and hook up.

BBQ Pitmasters (TLC) — I don’t understand. Are they grilling midgets or sextuplets? No? Then why is it on TLC?

The single biggest reason “Burn Notice” has been a success on USA is Bruce Campbell’s awesomeness, so it shouldn’t come as much of a surprise that Campbell will star in a prequel for the cable channel, according to buzz from the USA series panel at Comic-Con.

The prequel will be an action-adventure story set before the start of “Burn Notice” that follows Sam [Campbell] on a mission in Latin America. USA and Fox TV Studios will partner on the production, with filming likely to take place in Latin America between “Burn Notice” Seasons 4 and 5. [THR]

I guess this isn’t huge news, and in all likelihood I probably won’t watch a USA original movie. But I like any excuse to remember Army of Darkness, which hands-down has more bad-ass quotable lines than any other movie ever made. If you disagree, you’re wrong and I will fight you. Hail to the king, baby.

"Sorry Bunny, not even I can make Hamsterdam politically tolerable."

I was pleasantly surprised to see Robert Wisdom make an appearance on “Burn Notice” last night.   (Don’t worry, no spoilers ahead.  But if you’re really worried about “Burn Notice” spoilers, you may want to consider reevaluating your recent life choices.)  He played one of my favorite characters on “The Wire,”and I really hadn’t seen him in much else since.

It struck me how a lot of the dramas on USA, TNT, and FX have cast actors who were already identifiable with another role. My beloved Kelly Kapowski is on “White Collar,” Lt. Harris from Police Academy is on “The Closer,” Shane from “The Shield” plays Boyd Cowder on “Justified,” and of course Ash Williams from The Evil Dead plays Michael Weston’s accomplice in “Burn Notice.”  Then last night during USA’s block of original programming, they were running ads for a new show that starred the chick from Coyote Ugly, and featured Sandy Cohen from “The O.C.” and Wilson’s dead ex-girlfriend from “House.”

I think that’s cool.  It’s gotta suck being identifiable enough with a past role that it affects your future employability, especially when that past role wasn’t something you could retire on.  I understand why producers may be hesitant to cast them, though.  Some people just won’t accept them as anything but the role they are most associated with.  These idiots will do things like write blog posts where they refer to the actors only by the names of their past characters.  Or post a video of Kelly Kapowski’s cheerleading clips from “Saved by the Bell” in the same post where they talk about how important it is that people stop associating actors only with the role that made them famous (a video that originally had the embedding turned off, so they downloaded it from YouTube, laid music over it, and re-uploaded in their own YouTube account).  These people are sad, small minded idiots.
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