After the Grammys, CBS2 reporter Serene Branson suffered a migraine aura on-air, leading to a garbled, nonsensical report that went viral (and inspired autotuned remixes).

Now a Canadian reporter named Mark McAllister seems to have suffered a similar affliction, stumbling through a report on the events in Libya. I mean, I know Canadians are backward and talk funny, but I’m pretty sure “sifty-four” isn’t a number in any language. Global News released the following statement:

While on the air during the 6 p.m. News Hour broadcast on Monday, March 21, Global Toronto reporter Mark McAllister suffered a minor medical issue causing him to experience a moment of disorientation. Paramedics were immediately called to the scene, where Mark was fully checked out and is feeling better. As a precaution, Mark will be pursuing this matter with his own doctor.

Although McAllister is fine now, this seems to be part of a larger trend. Specifically: you must have some kind of brain damage if you’re pursuing a career in journalism.

[BuzzFeed]

Much like the fireplace channel that takes over homes during the holidays, Swiss Chalet restaurants will introduce a new channel on Canadian TV next week: a looped feed of rotisserie chickens turning on a spit.

Swiss Chalet is debuting an all-chicken, all-the-time digital TV channel on Rogers cable… The Rotisserie Channel will feature a roasting chicken 24 hours a day, seven days a week, for the next three months. As it cooks (on Rogers’ channel 208), a promo code will regularly appear, driving viewers to Swiss Chalet’s Facebook page to claim an offer. The deals will differ every day and when the viewer inputs the coupon code to the page, it will deliver a printable coupon customized with the recipient’s name. [Strategy Online]

That sounds hypnotically delicious. I just pictured the image of a turning rotisserie chicken in my head, and I already want one. Swiss Chalet is going to sell no fewer than three billion roast chickens with this strategy. I mean, I haven’t done the math or anything, but that feels like a modest estimate.

This Headline News video about an Edmonton man who modified his car so that his beer-drinking bison could ride to the bar with him is the perfect segue to news that the production team behind “Degrassi: The Next Generation” (AKA “Saved by the Canadian Bell”) is developing a show about Canadian actors in Los Angeles.

“Highland Gardens” [working title] is inspired by the real Highland Gardens hotel in L.A. that is popular with Canadian actors in town for pilot season. It has already been the subject of a documentary, “Camp Hollywood.”

“It’s not like most shows about Hollywood,” said [writer/executive producer Martin] Gero. “It’s an interesting companion piece to ‘Entourage.’ It’s about young Canadians trying to make it in Los Angeles, from actors to a budding hip-hop producer who’s working as an intern. It’s a really bohemian-lifestyle show.”

The six one-hour episodes will shoot in August in Los Angeles and Toronto, and the producers are currently shopping the series in the U.S. It will air on commercial channel CTV and MuchMusic in Canada. [Variety]

Unfortunately, it looks like they’re taking the show seriously. It would be so much better if they made it a sitcom that indulged in cheap Canadian stereotypes. Like, one actor could always be getting rejected for roles because she keeps saying “aboot.” A hockey-playing actor could have a serious medical issue that goes untreated because American health care is so expensive. And another guy could have a pet moose that he drives around in a pickup truck and goes clubbing with. Nah, that last idea is WAY too ludicrous and insulting to be real.

When Canadians aren’t being adorable pushovers, they’ll occasionally grow a spine and brag about how their “cultural mosaic” is more meaningful or vibrant than the American “melting pot.” That’s the basic premise behind “Lake Shore”: in lieu of “Jersey Shore’s” portrayal of one horrible ethnic stereotype, the Canadian reality show features eight young people of different national backgrounds who come together to make a cultural mosaic of horrible ethnic stereotypes.

Some fun quotes from the eight-and-a-half-minute horror show above:

The Albanian: You can be gay as long as you don’t get anywhere near me. It doesn’t offend me. You do whatever you want. You like it in the ass? Take it in the ass, brother!

The Pole: “I’m not racist. I hate everybody equally. Especially the Jewish people.”

I’d wager that “The Pole” — real name: Karolina — is only half Polish. I’m guessing she got her hatred of Jews from a German father, and her definition of “equally” from her mother’s side. [CORRECTION: The Turk, not the Pole, is the anti-Semitic one. There go all my jokes.]

In case you don’t have the time or inclination to watch the video above, don’t worry, I’ve got all the best high-resolution screen caps below.

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It’s a slow day, so I’m posting this trailer for “Call Me Fitz,” a Canadian comedy that airs on Canadian premium cable. This is all because Craig tweeted at Warming Glow: “Why are you not commenting on the awesomeness that is Call Me Fitz?”

Well, Craig, you’ll forgive me for living in America and not subscribing to Canadian premium channels I couldn’t possibly get through Time Warner Cable even if I were willing to pay for them, which I’m not. Also, due to financial hardship, I was unable to renew my subscription to Jason Priestley Illustrated, so I’m no longer up to speed on his most recent projects. In short, Craig, I don’t give a rat’s ass about Canadian television until some bored Hollywood executive decides to run it on ABC during the summer doldrums. Oh wait, I don’t even care about it then. Stick it up your butt, right next to “Degrassi.”

That said, “Call Me Fitz” looks okay. There seems to be a good amount of swearing, drug use, drinking, and sex, so I could definitely get into this show. Just as soon as HBO buys the rights and plants a big American flag on the show by re-casting it with credible American actors. WOOOOO THESE COLORS DON’T RUN!!!! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!