SITE NEWS: I gotta bounce early today to catch a flight. These other stories’ll have to get you through the remainder of the day.
Fe-lyin’ around, cat-chin’ some rays. Hey, it was either those puns or “look at these lazy pussies.” Anyway: the very best of cats chillin’. [Buzzfeed]
From Fox News to the Onion News Network. Suzanne Sena used the credibility gained as an anchor at Fox News to land a gig reading fake news. Video at the link. [Mediabistro]
Honest content warnings for HBO shows. The more ridiculous the show, the better the warnings. [College Humor]
Mother Nature’s Punch-Out. Animals fighting, boxing commentary, and the music to Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out. The pieces don’t exactly fit together perfectly, but I approve of the interspecies animal fighting. [Asylum]
Honestly, a police car’s dash-cam catching video of a cat crawling up a cop’s leg and sitting on his head while he writes a ticket would be enough to make my day. But what makes this so much better is that it’s a news report about a cat crawling up a cop’s leg and sitting on his head while he writes a ticket. Watch as the intrepid reporter investigates the scene of the incident and finds out that OH MY GOD THE CAT IS STILL HERE! And it’s friendly to everyone! Will this menace attack people with allergies? Only time will tell. Back to you, John.
[Urlesque]
Don’t worry, CBS will make it crappy and watered down. The popular Twitter feed Sh-t My Dad Says will be the basis for a new sitcom on CBS. It’ll be just like “Frasier” if Frasier worked as a web writer. Before Frasier’s career fell apart with “Hank.” [Hollywood Reporter]
‘Mad Men’ as X-Men. Sounded like a stupid idea to me, but I have to admit that the execution here is solid. Approve. [Mad Atoms, part 2 here]
‘For relaxing times, make it Santori time.’ I love it when big-time Hollywood stars do commercials overseas they’d never assent to in the States. In this one, Clooney gets a piano dropped on his head, and John Malkovich plays St. Peter. Man, that Clooney is handsome in every language. [Screen Junkies]
I’ll always love the Bert and Ernie gangsta rap. Celebrate the 40th anniversary of “Sesame Street” with these remixes, covers, and mash-ups. [Urlesque]
Tears. Running down my face. A collection of videos of servicemen returning from deployment being greeted by their dogs. [Mental Floss]
Headline: ‘Pop culture snobs thrown into existential dilemma’ - Super-cool band My Morning Jacket will be on totally lame “American Dad.” Oh no, my worldview is askew! I don’t know what to look down on any more! [Stewie's Playground]
But I want Season 4 NOW! Matthew Weiner shares his thoughts on Season 3 of “Mad Men” in this interview that will be awesome for fans of the show and completely dull for non-fans. [The Daily Beast]
This is Why You’re Fat. “The average American spent ‘four hours and 49 minutes a day on average in front of the TV’ during the most recent TV season, The Nielsen Company said Tuesday. A few minutes shy of the five-hour mark, the 2008-9 season average is the highest ever… Compared with 10 years ago, viewing is up 20 percent.” Christ, I only average a little over two hours a day, and that’s because I watch about nine hours of pro football a week. Ugh, I wanna scream in America’s face while I make it do push-ups. [NYT Media Decoder]
Last night’s episode of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” was the long-awaited episode featuring Kitten Mittens, the product endorsed by Charlie in a Season 5 preview back in August. And it didn’t disappoint: it was the season’s best episode so far, combining a unified plot with hilarious gags as the gang looks for ways to cash in on merchandising for Paddy’s Pub.
As usual, Charlie was the star for me, slipping into his idea of legalese with lines like “I’ll just regress, because I feel I’ve made myself perfectly redundant” and introducing a new unit of time called the “fork night.” Of course, his highlight was the show’s cold open: his minute-long ad for Kitten Mittens (watch here) that sparks the gang’s idea for the episode’s story line. Check out In Game Now for video of the Dick Towel from DickTowel.com.
I obviously don’t know where any of you live (except YOU, Jessica), but here in New York it’s rainy and gray and chilly, and I stayed in bed a little too long, and I’m not all that motivated to start the day. And it’s days like this that call for a cat and a dog to go scuba diving together.
If you’re wondering, this news report about Hawkeye the scuba-diving cat (video below) isn’t particularly new, but as it turns out I don’t particularly care. I needed scuba cat today. Especially considering the fact that his best friend is scuba dog. You know, sometimes I wish I were an executive at Animal Planet. The network’s coverage of anthropomorphized cats and dogs would go through the roof. And so would ratings!
The other day some news lady mistakenly called Jesse Jackson Al Sharpton. As live news bloopers go, it was pretty lame: there was no accidental swear word or or sexual innuendo or giant seagull. I mean, it’s definitely an insult to Jackson, who can be an annoying blowhard but isn’t quite the annoying blowhard that Sharpton is. But still: lame.
AND THEN. Someone done gone and added Keyboard Cat. And Keyboard Cat spices up a party like no animal since Spuds McKenzie. I love Keyboard Cat. It breaks my heart that there are people starving and dying of AIDS in Africa who’ve never had the simple pleasure of Keyboard Cat. I should really send them something to help out their dire predicament. Like a link to this URL. What, they don’t have email? Pfff, never mind.
