One of the big things on Howard Stern’s show today was this interview that Rob Schneider gave to a morning radio show in Palm Beach. Apparently SpongeBob and the Morning Zoo or whatever they’re called kept the star of Deuce Bigalow 2: European Gigolo waiting a little too long, and that made Schneider mad enough to be all sarcastic and passive-aggressive, which prompted a backlash from one of the DJs before Schneider ultimately walked out of the interview.
I can’t really process this thoroughly enough to come down on one side or another. On the one hand, Schneider’s a hack who acted like a dick; on the other, morning radio show DJs are some of the lowest forms of life on the planet. Anyone who works on a morning radio show is about on par with “public school guidance counselor” in the category of “Failed at Life.” Although frankly, I’d rather fail at life than be Rob Schneider.
People, I assure you: this clip of CBS correspondent Debbye Turner Bell getting an eyeful of beaver pee on “The Early Show” is the only safe-for-work video you’re ever going to get if you happen to Google “beaver urinating on woman’s face.” But this is nothing. Over on “The Today Show,” Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb went to a farm and took turns handling an ejaculating cock. Thanks, and tip your waitress.
Seven episodes into its first season, “NCIS: Los Angeles” has already sold the rights to air its episodes in syndication. USA, which also airs re-runs of the original “NCIS,” has bought the rights at a staggering $2 million an episode.
USA will have the right to air the show weekly beginning in Sept. 2011 and will start stripping the episode in 2013…
The unusually quick deal is testament to the popularity of the “NCIS” brand — and the ability for top cable networks to capitalize on crime procedurals in syndication. In its seventh season, “NCIS” has grown to become the most-watched drama series on broadcast, while its USA repeats are the most-watched syndicated crime drama, averaging 3.5 million viewers.
To put that in perspective, the average repeat of “NCIS” on USA draws about as many viewers as the original and highly acclaimed “Sons of Anarchy” does on its best night. And every time I realize something like that, a little piece of me regrets having ever served my country. So please, America: stop watching CBS’s recycled crime dramas, especially in syndication. Do it for the troops.
Fresh off of giving birth to her fourth child, Heidi Klum will host the Victoria’s Secret fashion show on November 19th. CBS’s telecast of the show will air on December 1st, after all of the sexiest parts I want to see have been edited out.
[Klum's] fellow Angels aren’t surprised to see Heidi back to work. “She can do it all,” says fellow Angel (and new mom) Alessandra Ambrosio. “She’s a great mom and she’s got so much going on. She’s an inspiration.”
No, Alessandra. What’s an inspiration is you looking like this one year after having a baby. Seriously, what’s wrong with the rest of you ladies? Slacking off, not working out all the time, not wearing lingerie every day, having jobs other than being professionally good-looking… it’s just laziness. Laziness and not having perfect Brazilian genes. And it makes me sick.
We gotta get Susan B. Anthony off the silver dollar; she’s setting a bad example for women. Sacajawea, too. I appreciate the attempt to move closer to gender and racial equity, but the U.S. Mint needs to quit making unsexy money. Put Marisa Miller on the $50 bill already. Ulysses S. Grant was a crappy president anyway.
Here’s a math problem. Emphasis on the word problem. The second spin-off of a show + Kim Kardashian + MTV veejay + other MTV veejay + the band responsible for “Drops of Jupiter” =
[Kardashian and Vanessa Minnillo] will be guest starring in an upcoming episode of CSI: NY along with Minnillo’s former TRL costar LaLa Vasquez and the members of the band Train.
“I am so excited to be working with Vanessa again,” Kardashian says. “I am fascinated by crime scene investigating. I swear, I wish I was a crime scene investigator sometimes!” [People]
Oh yes, I’m so excited to see Kardashian and Minnillo working together again, too! They were so terrific in Disaster Movie! I swear, I wish my fingers were more inclined to gouge out my own eyes sometimes!
Next week, each of the three variants of “CSI” — “CSI: Miami,” “CSI: New York,” and “CSI: Original Flavor” — will take part in a “triple crossover” episode in which Laurence Fishburne goes around to all three cities because a killer has cast the various limbs of slain hookers across those cities. Probably not the most efficient way to kill hookers, but then I’m not an expert. *knowing wink*
The behind-the-scenes promo video below features Fishburne’s narration and some fabulous overacting from Warming Glow muse David Caruso. There’s also a point where Fishburne puts on Caruso’s sunglasses and instantly looks like Morpheus. Well, Morpheus if Morpheus got fat. Anyway, that’s how the Photoshop happened. I guess I could’ve Voltronned it up with some robot lions, but I didn’t want it to look too busy. I’m an artist, you know.
