After being the first to sign onto Dr. Drew Pinsky’s life-saving cable television show “Celebrity Rehab,” trouble-prone reality TV star slash gossip blog entrepreneur slash musician slash Antz-faced bisexual nightmare Tila Tequila has withdrawn from the program, expected to begin filming later this month.  Her problem: too many slashes.

Tila’s manager refused to comment on the situation, but Radar Online is reporting that producers apparently wanted her out amid rumors that she had self-mutilated herself.  Photos depicting self-inflicted, “disturbing cut marks” described as a combination of cutting and burning were posted on the website back in June.

The decision comes as a blow to Celebrity Rehab, who had failed to drag Lindsay Lohan and Heather Locklear into the fold.  This season Dr. Drew will have to help Justin Bobby, Amy Shrinkle, and some form of Rich Vos cope with their addictions.  Tila will snort a bunch of Ambien, google herself, and Twitter until she falls asleep.

“Celebrity Rehab” is gearing up for another season of not being watched, and the show’s casting agents have set their sights on people you’ve actually heard of for once: Charlie Sheen, his wife Brooke Mueller, Lindsay Lohan, Heather Locklear, and Jenna Jameson. Of course, none of them have actually agreed to do the show. But in TMZ’s world, in the absence of news, the reverse of news is news.

As for Lindsay, we’re told the show recently offered her $1 million to appear on “Celeb Rehab” as well as “Sober House” and a third possible spin-off. Show sources say they were told Lindsay had no interest, partly because she doesn’t think she has a problem and partly because she wants nothing to do with Dr. Drew.

To be fair to Dr. Drew, Lindsay wants nothing to do with anyone who doesn’t have coke.

Show sources say they were shut down with Heather Locklear as well — again, the show sources say they were told Heather doesn’t have a problem. And, the sources say they were shut down by Brooke Mueller. Undaunted, they say they’re now going after Charlie Sheen — perhaps hoping he’ll have time on his hands if he doesn’t re-sign with “Two and a Half Men.”

Filming for the new season is scheduled to begin in two weeks, so at this point I’m guessing the cast will be Jesse James, three former cast members of VH1 reality shows, and four stuffed animals to be named later.

Oh, well that explains everything.

Corey Haim, who died last night of a drug overdose, turned down the opportunity to be on VH1′s “Celebrity Rehab” when approached by a casting company earlier this mornth, according to TMZ.

Sources connected with Dr. Drew’s show tell us casting producers called Corey. They say he was “extremely defensive and insulted, saying, ‘It’s the last show I’d ever do.’”

Incorrect. That would be “The Two Coreys.”

Our sources say the 3-minute conversation ended with Corey saying, “I do not need help.”

To clarify, he hung up mid-sentence, just before he said, “…doing drugs.”