Artist's rendering of the average opinion of a "Two and a Half Men" fan.

We tend to think there are two kinds of TV viewers: those who like “complex” (for lack of a term that isn’t “not-for-idiots”) shows, and those who like everything else. The former are fans of “Justified” and “30 Rock” and “Homeland” and recaps; the latter enjoy “Mike & Molly,” “NCIS,” and “2 Broke Girls” and crude, yet CBS-safe double entendres about facials. And never the twain shall meet.

But that’s not quite true. There’s something both groups love to do: bitch and complain. Read anything on the Internet related to “Community” (former) with a comments section, and you’ll see sentiment after sentiment of “BOO NBC” and “WE WANT BRIE! WE WANT BRIE!” The same grumbling is true with articles about “Two and a Half Men” (latter), except their community is split on something: CHARLIE OR ASHTON, who you got?

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FX has apparently enjoyed airing repeats of “Two and a Half Men” so much that it has acquired Charlie Sheen’s “Anger Management,” the show Sheen has been talking about non-stop since he got fired from “Men.”

The cable network has formally ordered 10 episodes of “Anger Management,” which is set up through Lionsgate and Debmar-Mercury. The FX deal for “Anger Management” will be structured similarly to the Debmar-Mercury pacts for “Are We There Yet?” and a slew of Tyler Perry TV comedies in that success will trigger a pickup for 90 additional episodes…

FX plans to begin production on “Anger Management,” featuring Sheen as an anger management therapist who needs more help than his patients, in early 2012. [HitFix]

Really? Someone thought it would be good to lock in Charlie Sheen for 90 straight episodes? That seems like an awfully big commitment to someone who orders briefcases of cocaine and terrorizes hookers in his free time. I think a better contract would have been the Dread Pirate Roberts’ approach to Westley in The Princess Bride. “Good night, Charlie. Good work. Sleep well. I’ll most likely fire you in the morning.”

The Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen was last night, and if you didn’t watch it, you must not share my love of jokes about hookers and spousal abuse. Jeffrey Ross, Anthony Jeselnik, and Amy Schumer turned in the best performances, while the lamest sets belonged to Jon Lovitz and Steve-O.

Here are most of my favorite jokes from the roast. It’s not a complete list because I was drinking and I got tired of pausing the TV to write stuff down. And it’s almost certainly not 50 jokes; that’s just a number that was nice and round and catchy for SEO purposes. AND NOW YOU KNOW THE UGLY TRUTH ABOUT BLOGGING.

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To promote his forthcoming roast on Comedy Central, Charlie Sheen shot an Apocalypse Now-style promo, and — surprisingly — his father Martin Sheen took a break from being disappointed in Charlie to actually make an appearance in the video (see below). But be warned: Charlie says the F-word. I know a lot of you are sensitive to dirty language, so I thought you dick-hungry whores should know in advance.

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The Comedy Central roast of Charlie Sheen was last night, and even though it won’t air until September 19th (the same night the Sheen-less “Two and a Half Men” debuts), nothing stays under wraps now that we have the Internet. Early word on the street is that the biggest bombs of the night were Mike Tyson and Kate Walsh. Tyson failed at the podium but did succeed in punching Steve-O from “Jackass,” which I look forward to seeing. And I have no idea why Walsh was there. I’m assuming she was brought in to facilitate jokes about her looking like a tranny.

Anyway, embedded below is a minute-long tease from Jeffrey Ross’s turn at the mic, and the roast favorite — dressed as Gaddafi — shares quips like “You make your own father ashamed of the fake name he shares with you” and coins the new term “skankruptcy.” For more roast joke “spoilers” — if you can call them that — go here.

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