Chimpanzee farts can make anything funny — cancer, the Holocaust, even New Yorker cartoons. And in this video with the BBC’s Nick Baker of “Really Wild,” chimps fart, moon the camera, and pick other people’s noses. In other words, it’s the most sublime comedy possible.

I love that biologists always insist that chimpanzees are “magnificent creatures.” It’s heady praise for what’s essentially a hairy toddler with retard strength.

(via arbroath)

This isn’t new, but it’s Friday and I can’t remember the last time I highlighted some kind of insanity from Japan. In the video below, the goal of the game show appears to be stacking treats on your pet. So these poor dogs sit there drooling while their owners stack dozens of treats on their face and body. In the last section of the video, a chimpanzee cries while a person builds a cage of 800 bananas around it.

Dude. Japan. NOT COOL. And this is coming from me. I’m all for subway groping, octo-porn, tree branch rape hentai, and even Hello Kitty. But this is going too far.

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Warming Glow’s nerdy little brother Gamma Squad already wrote about this yesterday, but BBC Two is airing a special called “Chimpcam,” which the network is touting as “a unique experiment” and “the world’s first film shot by chimpanzees.” And I hate to play the role of Captain Obvious here, but there’s kind of a reason that there’s never been a movie made by chimpanzees before. I mean, watch the video above. There’s no story, no characterization, and terrible camera work. You can see better work by twelve-year-olds on YouTube, and 12-year-olds are idiots. Not that I’ve been looking at 12-year-olds on YouTube. No, I’m reporting YOU to the police!

But the good news is that there’s someone who can save this project. An experienced, well-respected director. A gifted actor. A Hollywood legend. A man who will share his beer with any species of primate:

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So is it okay to be turned on by this or not? In 1981′s Tarzan, the Ape Man, Bo Derek got molested by a chimpanzee. As in, it actually made the final cut of the movie. Yes, really. [FilmDrunk; NSFW version here]

The dueling part of the episode was better. Just sayin’. Inspired by “The Simpsons,” Rob Baur actually made a tomacco plant. [Telegraph UK]

Be careful, Fox will option the script. Remember when Mac and Charlie from “Always Sunny” wrote a movie called The Fifth Sense starring Dolph Lundgren. These guys made a comic of it. C’mon Hollywood, it’s already story boarded for you! [Royal Flush]

There’s an app for that. By next month, you’ll be able to use your iPhone as a remote control. By late 2010, it will be able to feel human love. [the Apple Blog]

‘Fire rips through homeless camp, leaving dozens…well, no worse off, really.’ The top 20 Fark headlines of 2009. [Fark]

Quiet everybody! There’s an attractive woman talking. Yvonne Strahovski dishes about the new season of “Chuck.” [Fancast]

That’s one sexy pillow. Photos of James Franco on the set of “30 Rock,” where he’ll guest star as himself. It’s rumored he’ll have a romance with Jane Krakowski’s Jenna, which he’ll later call performance art. [OHLALA Mag]

Pirates have crappy taste in TV. “Heroes” was the most-pirated TV show of 2008. They must be fans of ZachARRRRRy Quinto. [The Live Feed]

A chimpanzee in overalls fondles a statue’s penis, then goes to the bakery to pick up a cake, but the pack of bulldogs he’s walking turn on him and chase him down the road before a bird of prey steals the chimpanzee’s cake. Or, as it’s called in Japan, “Tuesday.”