World Series: Rangers at Cardinals (Fox, Friday) — Tonight’s deciding Game 7 comes on the heels of last night’s absolutely bananas Game 6, which I enjoyed even though I hate Cardinals fans, Tony LaRussa, all Molinas, and above all else the city of St. Louis. Nevertheless, I’m not such a troll that I won’t admit that it’s been a great series, and the TV critics who are crying about a World Series Game 7 bumping “Fringe” and hurting the debut of “Grimm” and season premiere of “Chuck” should be pushed into an industrial turbine.

Grimm (NBC, Friday) — Series premiere. As modern fairy tale adaptations go, I’ll admit that this looks less stupid than “Once Upon a Time.” By the way, I should mention that “Grimm” star Claire Coffee (“The West Wing”) did one of those always-enjoyable Me in My Place photo shoots for Esquire. Claire was a classmate of mine at Northwestern. For a long time she dated a guy who’s now in Blue Man Group, who’s close friends with my roommate the Arby’s guy. “Cool story, Hansel.”

Chuck (NBC, Friday) — Season premiere. A small but loyal following has kept this show on the air for fifth season. A small, loyal following that doesn’t care about laughably terrible action sequences. When I watch “Chuck” I feel like I’m watching a telenovela version of an American show.

The Simpsons (Fox, Sunday) — Treehouse of Horror episode. From time to time I feel the need to remind you that Treehouse of Horror V is my favorite “Simpsons” episode ever, to the point that this blog is named for a quote from it.

Allen Gregory (Fox, Sunday) — The new animated comedy from Jonah Hill stars Hill as a precocious 7-year-old with gay dads who leaves the gentle embrace of home-schooling for the rough-and-tumble world of public school.

The Walking Dead (AMC, Sunday) — Prep yourself for Halloween with your weekly dose of zombie ownage. Sophia’s still missing, by the way. Jeez, just find her or show us her remains already.

During last weekend’s Comic Con action, the producers of NBC’s paint-by-numbers spy show Chuck cow-towed to the nerdocracy by announcing that Mark Hamill would be appearing as a villain in the first episode of the show’s upcoming final season. Far less exciting to Star Wars fans – or any fans, for that matter – is the news that there will be a second villain in the first episode, played by Craig Kilborn.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Kilbs will play Roger Bale, “a conman investor who has crossed the wrong people” but he is also rumored to have a more sinister angle to his character. Of course, when regarding Chuck, sinister means that he says words like “heck” and “darn.”

Kilborn’s most notable acting turn came in Old School, as the womanizing Mark, who is eventually killed when his car flips over a bridge and lands on Jeremy Piven. It always amazes me that the scene never won an Academy Award for the Greatest Movie Scene of All-Time Ever in History Ever.

There’s a never-ending — and problematic — discussion about the “best show on television.” In my mind, the best television show is the one that’s superior to all others in terms of narrative arc, character development, writing, cinematography, acting, originality, and so on. You know: the best. However, a lot of critics seem to think the “best” means “my favorite,” which is the only possible excuse for the egregious, putrid, and moronic claims you’re about to read.

Because there are certain shows that are okay to call the best: “Mad Men” and “Breaking Bad,” certainly. “Friday Night Lights” and “Parks and Recreation,” sure, those aren’t unreasonable opinions. “Community” and “Louie”? Totally defensible. Everyone, of course, is entitled to their opinion—but not if they claim that “Chuck” is better than “Justified.” There’s a line. There are certain shows — some good, some truly awful — that various critics and bloggers have deemed to be the Best Show on Television. On the following pages are ten of the worst selections, with excerpted quotes to damn them.

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NBC and Fox have released their schedules for the fall of 2011 and spring of 2012, and if you’ve been paying attention to the cancellations and pickups, there’s not a whole lot that will surprise you.

NBC’s biggest shift may have been moving “30 Rock” to a midseason debut due to Tina Fey’s pregnancy. The network, recognizing the best night to stash shows for nerds, also shifted “Chuck’s” final 13-episode season to Fridays, where it will be paired with the fairy tale crime drama “Grimm;” the shows will face competition for geek love from “Fringe” on Fox and “Supernatural” on the CW. Breakout hit “The Voice” will return in the spring.

Fox, meanwhile, is expecting “The X Factor” and “Terra Nova” to be its big new hits. Simon Cowell’s singing competition will take the Wednesday/Thursday slots that “American Idol” holds in the spring, while the dinosaur action-drama will lead on Mondays, with the hope that it can bolster “House’s” flagging numbers.

Are you bored yet? Because I’m totally bored. Nevertheless, I’ve got the full schedules on the following pages.

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Chuck (NBC) — Tonight marks the beginning of one of my favorite TV weeks of the year: when almost every show does a Halloween-themed episode. Just as ordinarily demure women wear delightfully slutty costumes, so too are buttoned-up actresses stripped down and put into iconic wet dream costumes. Mmmm… Yvonne Strahovski as Slave Leia.(Preview of tonight’s “Chuck” here). [See also: Emily Deschanel as Wonder Woman]

In Treatment (HBO) — Season 3 premiere. My roommate digs this show, but I’ve never found psychoanalysis to be all that interesting. Besides, if I’m going to watch Gabriel Byrne, my time is better spent catching The Usual Suspects for the 53rd time.

Thintervention with Jackie Warner (Bravo) — Season finale. I don’t know a thing about this show, but I already don’t like it.

Top Gear (BBC America) — Tonight’s the episode with Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz where Cruise takes a corner on two wheels. Just in time to promote the junkyard fire I’m making out of Knight and Day DVDs.

Weeds (Showtime) — Richard Dreyfuss guest stars. Hey, remember Mr. Holland’s Opus? That movie blew donkeys, and anyone who says otherwise should be punched in the genitals.

Halloween (AMC) — When it comes to scary movies, I prefer spooky to slashy: I’ll always take The Shining and The Exorcist over Freddy and Jason and Michael Myers. Rosemary’s Baby doesn’t make my list, though. I don’t know, the scene where Satan rapes Rosemary… I just expected more from a rape expert like Roman Polanski.