This video nearly makes me speechless.  Cleveland’s Fox affiliate did an investigation on a black bear in a suburban neighborhood, only nobody got a picture or a video of the bear, so the reporter has to rely on eyewitness testimony.  Eyewitness testimony, and a CARDBOARD CUTOUT OF A BEAR.  And then the camera zooms in on the cardboard cutout, and the reporter says — I swear to God this happens –

“This is what the bear probably looked like.  Except real.”

YES.  I love it.  With just a little more fear-mongering, we could actually see the formation of the nation’s first Bear Patrol.

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Even people who don’t watch sports stopped and took notice on Friday night when LeBron James sank the catch-and-shoot buzzer-beating three-pointer to save the Cavaliers’ hopes in the Eastern Conference semifinals against the Orlando Magic.  By chance, the end of that game coincided with the end of the 11 o’clock news in Cleveland, where the Channel 5 news team had resigned itself to a loss of viewers and a Cavs loss.  Being consummate professionals, they handled LeBron’s shot with straight-faced gravity.

Nah, just kidding.  They whooped it up and acted like they weren’t on TV, making it one of the better newscasts of the 21st century.  (After the jump, watch the videos synced together.)

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Savvy Internet veterans will be quick to point out their familiarity with Norton Furniture of Cleveland — which is so indoctrinated in the world of Internerds that it has its own Wikipedia page — but this is the first I’ve seen of Marc Brown and Norton Furniture, and so I am wide-eyed and agog and other adjectives at this awesomely bad commercial.  What the hell is going on here?  There’s a pedophile guy trying to sell me furniture, and a plushy frog, and someone with a fake goatee and giant scissors?  Well… sure.  A little weird for me, but okay.  Certainly better than the Google Chrome commercial.

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