In the wake of Rick Perry leasing a hunting camp called… ummm… *cough* *cough*head, Wyatt Cenac filed a report for “The Daily Show” (video below) that no white correspondent possibly could have: he pointed out that scores of other American geographical features are named with similar insensitivity to race issues. What I’m trying to say is, he said the N-word a LOT. And not the N-word the way black people say it to each other, but the way white slave owners used to say it: casually, and with a hard “-er.”

The piece made me wide-eyed and slightly uncomfortable until Cenac branched out into my preferred territory: locations named with old-timey racist slurs. And as we all know, old-timey racist slurs are the ONLY racist slurs I’ll tolerate around here.

Hahahahaha, “Squaw Tit Mountain.” Sounds like a Navajo strip club. I bet there’s firewater and slut machines there. “Wait, don’t you mean slot machines?” Nope.

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During the Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen, Amy Schumer addressed Steve-O in the following joke:

I truly am — no joke — sorry for the loss of your friend Ryan Dunn. I know you must have been thinking, “It could’ve been me.” And I know we were all thinking, “Why wasn’t it?”

There are any number of variations on the “shoulda been you” joke — that same night, Jeffrey Ross told essentially the same joke about Anthony Jeselnik, with Greg Giraldo as the deceased subject. Hell, I told a “shoulda been Steve-O” joke the morning after Dunn’s death. But because people are idiots and because “Jackass” fans get butt-hurt any time someone says “Ryan Dunn” without crying, Schumer’s come under fire for mentioning Dunn’s name in a joke directed at Steve-O. Schumer, amazingly, responded to the criticism without calling anyone a moron.

“I don’t feel the need to apologize,” Schumer says. “I respect people’s opinion as long as they understand what the joke is. It wasn’t a Ryan Dunn joke. It was a Steve-O joke. It was a typical roast joke. It had the formula of any roast joke. That wasn’t even one of the jokes I had where I was thinking, ‘here it comes, I’m going to drop the hammer now.” [Laughspin]

Good for her. Something like this happens at every roast. People who never watch stand-up tune in hoping to see lots of mean jokes, then they inevitably decide that someone crossed an arbitrary line that doesn’t actually exist. It’s like they get off on being offended. And really, THOSE are the people who deserve to die in fiery car wrecks.

The Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen was last night, and if you didn’t watch it, you must not share my love of jokes about hookers and spousal abuse. Jeffrey Ross, Anthony Jeselnik, and Amy Schumer turned in the best performances, while the lamest sets belonged to Jon Lovitz and Steve-O.

Here are most of my favorite jokes from the roast. It’s not a complete list because I was drinking and I got tired of pausing the TV to write stuff down. And it’s almost certainly not 50 jokes; that’s just a number that was nice and round and catchy for SEO purposes. AND NOW YOU KNOW THE UGLY TRUTH ABOUT BLOGGING.

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To promote his forthcoming roast on Comedy Central, Charlie Sheen shot an Apocalypse Now-style promo, and — surprisingly — his father Martin Sheen took a break from being disappointed in Charlie to actually make an appearance in the video (see below). But be warned: Charlie says the F-word. I know a lot of you are sensitive to dirty language, so I thought you dick-hungry whores should know in advance.

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The Comedy Central roast of Charlie Sheen was last night, and even though it won’t air until September 19th (the same night the Sheen-less “Two and a Half Men” debuts), nothing stays under wraps now that we have the Internet. Early word on the street is that the biggest bombs of the night were Mike Tyson and Kate Walsh. Tyson failed at the podium but did succeed in punching Steve-O from “Jackass,” which I look forward to seeing. And I have no idea why Walsh was there. I’m assuming she was brought in to facilitate jokes about her looking like a tranny.

Anyway, embedded below is a minute-long tease from Jeffrey Ross’s turn at the mic, and the roast favorite — dressed as Gaddafi — shares quips like “You make your own father ashamed of the fake name he shares with you” and coins the new term “skankruptcy.” For more roast joke “spoilers” — if you can call them that — go here.

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