To promote his forthcoming roast on Comedy Central, Charlie Sheen shot an Apocalypse Now-style promo, and — surprisingly — his father Martin Sheen took a break from being disappointed in Charlie to actually make an appearance in the video (see below). But be warned: Charlie says the F-word. I know a lot of you are sensitive to dirty language, so I thought you dick-hungry whores should know in advance.
The Comedy Central roast of Charlie Sheen was last night, and even though it won’t air until September 19th (the same night the Sheen-less “Two and a Half Men” debuts), nothing stays under wraps now that we have the Internet. Early word on the street is that the biggest bombs of the night were Mike Tyson and Kate Walsh. Tyson failed at the podium but did succeed in punching Steve-O from “Jackass,” which I look forward to seeing. And I have no idea why Walsh was there. I’m assuming she was brought in to facilitate jokes about her looking like a tranny.
Anyway, embedded below is a minute-long tease from Jeffrey Ross’s turn at the mic, and the roast favorite — dressed as Gaddafi — shares quips like “You make your own father ashamed of the fake name he shares with you” and coins the new term “skankruptcy.” For more roast joke “spoilers” — if you can call them that — go here.
As many Warming Glow readers know, one of my favorite pastimes is to single out the people who shriek about “spoilers” and then poke them with sticks. And now I’ve got Stephen Colbert on my side.
Earlier this week, Colbert based his popular segment “The Word” around a study that showed people actually enjoy stories more if they know the ending ahead of time. He then reveals several well-known twists to movies like The Sixth Sense and The Crying Game. He doesn’t even spoil anything recent that could cause serious dismay, like the shocking deaths of Khal Drogo and Ned Stark in the first season of “Game of Thrones.” See, THAT’S how you do a spoiler.
Comedy Central did us all a favor and made a huge compilation of all the best dancing moments from “The Colbert Report” (video below). It’s an excellent way to spend three and a half minutes of your Friday — much more important than finishing that stupid spreadsheet or, say, buying fresh water and canned goods before Hurricane Irene hits New York.
Last night’s “Daily Show” picked up on something I’d never noticed before: CNN anchor Don Lemon has zero patience for the banal banter about human-interest stories that he and other anchors are supposed to engage in. Lemon appears to be one of those old-fashioned “journalists” who are interested in “reporting” “news” — and not, say, going along with a stupid story about how Hogwarts would be more expensive to attend than Harvard:
Female reporter: “…more than $43,000 — and that’s only for one year. Tuition is actually the biggest chunk. Just to send your kid off to become a wizard, it’s gonna price you right out of the ballpark, I’d say.
Lemon: Okay. I say it costs zero, because it doesn’t exist.
The whole report (below) is pretty great, and it almost makes me want to watch CNN. Like, if I had any interest in the world beyond finding new pictures of corgis, Don Lemon would be my news person of choice.
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