I’m a little worried about the T-Mobile Girl, you guys.

After almost two years of wearing cute pink dresses and sunnily shilling for the phone carrier, T-Mobile Girl Carly Foulkes is now being featured in a new spot titled “Alter Ego” where she trades all that in for a black and pink leather outfit and a motorcycle. Now, maybe this is just a rebellious streak or some sort of phase, but I think we need to take this seriously.

Do you think she started running with a bad crowd? Or maybe one of those older men she appeared with in the other commercials? I never trusted them, always looking at her the way a wolf looks at an unlocked chicken coop. IF ONE OF THOSE GOONS LAID A HAND ON HER, I SWEAR I’LL KILL HIM. DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN. SHE BETTER NOT COME BACK HERE PREGNANT. NOT IN MY HOUSE.

I’m sorry, I’ll settle down. It’s just a little upsetting seeing our sweet little T-Mobile Girl running around like acting like this, riding a motorcycle like some street hoodlum. You don’t think … no, it couldn’t be … … is it drugs? I mean, it’s been a little while since I took a high school health class, but if I remember correctly, abrupt changes in attitude and wardrobe are pretty big red flags. Oh God, it’s probably drugs. I bet she’s out there shooting goofballs between her toes and snorting cocaine off some immigrant’s penis. SHE’S THROWING HER FUTURE AWAY. WHAT ABOUT HER SCHOLARSHIP TO CORNELL?! SHE WAS GOING TO BE A VETERINARIAN, DAMMIT.

That’s it. I’m calling her guidance counselor.

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This commercial, titled “Babes ‘N Donuts” is one of a series for Toyota’s glorified golf cart, the Scion iQ. In the ads, a car full of girls in bikinis do donuts in a parking lot while trying to eat donuts and drink milk, with predictably messy results. It’s basically a Dollar Tree version of the Kate Upton Carl’s Jr. commercial mixed with an episode of “MANswers” (“HOW MANY DONUTS CAN A BABE EAT WHILE DOING DONUTS WITH MILK ON HER BOOBS?! MANSWERS! [explosion] [guitar riff] [explosion]“). I get that they’re trying to appeal to a market of bros who normally wouldn’t be caught dead in a small, fuel efficient car (“ARE DUDES WHO CARE ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT GIANT PUSSIES WITH TINY JUNK WHO ARE PROBABLY TOTAL GAYS?! MANSWERS! [shark leaps out of ocean, eats eagle] [both explode]“), but it’s such a dumb, transparent attempt that it craps all over its purpose.

All that said, I did actually enjoy one of the other spots in the series, “Cop ‘N Donuts.” They guy in the backseat on the left cracked me up. The lesson here is that I’m a giant hypocrite and I would really like someone to bring me a donut.

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Now what would Don Draper say about this? (The answer to my hypothetical: he’d grumble something about going to sleep and cleaning girls because he’s too old to deal with it.)

Anti-semitism campaigners have described a Turkish shampoo commercial featuring Hitler as a “deplorable marketing ploy.”

The 12-second advert for Biomen shampoo shows the Nazi leader gesticulating wildly during a speech, before the commercial urges customers to buy the “100 percent male shampoo.”

Underneath the footage of Hitler from an undated speech, there is a caption which translates as, “If you are not wearing a woman’s dress, you should not use her shampoo either.” (Daily Mail)

This feels like the sad end game — the final solution, as it were — of those testosterone-driven ads that are supposed to make men feel like MEN. “Don’t use some kind of GAY, frilly shampoo; use the one endorsed by history’s manliest man: HITLER. *Kraftwerk synth solo*” Either that, or Turkish people are really messed up.

Plus, Hitler had TERRIBLE hair.

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I didn’t want to like this commercial. I really didn’t. It’s pretty much just a knockoff of the Old Spice commercials (and a less creative one at that, because there are cuts between each nonsensical segment), and yet, there I was, giggling at everything: the cuss words, the machete, the bear throwing money around, etc. I don’t know if it says more about the commercial or less about me, but I enjoyed it thoroughly. Nice work, Dollar Shave Club. I won’t be using your service because I grow facial hair like a 12-year-old and I don’t have a job that requires me to shave more often than “when somebody says my face looks gross,” but still, well done.

If I had any bone to pick with this commercial, besides its derivative nature, it would be the final shot. Sure it’s got a bear with a brick of money making it rain, a spokesman with a leaf blower, an awkward warehouse employee, and a giant American flag, but I can’t help but feel like it’s missing something. You guessed it: Blue Shirt Guy. Never forget.

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A few weeks ago, during a roundtable discussion with The Hollywood Reporter, George Clooney defended making his coffee commercials overseas, arguing that it affords him the ability to live well while making great movies for scale in the United States. “I make coffee commercials overseas, and I make a lot of money, so I get to live in a nice house. And I don’t give a sh*t,” he said. “And people will go, ‘Oh that’s a sell out.’ And you know what? F**k you.”

But here’s the thing about the overseas commercials that celebrities often do for massive sums of money: They’re often very entertaining. However, celebrities make them overseas so we won’t see them, which is a shame because — in some cases — we’d actually think better of them. Some of them are funny and self-deprecating, some are strange, some are sexy, and many — especially those made in Japan — are just balls-out goofy.

I spent a few hours on YouTube tracking down 25 of the most bizarre. Many are from Europe, most are from Japan, some are from a celebrity’s early career, and some are more recent. But the one thing that ties them all together is the fact that we in the United States haven’t seen most of them. That’s too bad, because we all deserve to see Naomi Watts and Sandra Bullock shill for feminine hygiene products, Tarantino’s Japanese TV commercial, Harrison Ford try to master a video game, Sean Bean’s early beer commercial, a wacky Ben Stiller spot, Jennifer Love Hewitt slide on a tight pair of Levi’s, and Nic Cage in a cowboy hat battling alien astronauts, among many others (and if you want to see the truly bizarre, search YouTube for all of Schwarzenegger’s Japanese commercials, of which I could compile an entire list). The first and last (Yvonne Strahovski and Hugh Jackman) spots, however, are my favorites of the bunch.

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