There isn’t much going on in the television world this morning, which is nice because it gives me the opportunity to briefly discuss something near and dear to my heart: this commercial. I’ll be honest, I didn’t know who or what Jackson Hewitt was as recently as two weeks ago. My best guess would have been that it was the name of a linebacker from some small college in the midwest who was rising up draft boards after a strong performance in a bowl game. Then one day, while I was watching a crappy movie or food show (probably), I heard the intro to “This Is How We Do It” by Montell Jordan and was immediately captivated. There’s so much to love: the exuberant dancing and flabby slo-mo arms of the main character (Steve), the awesome high-five at the 0:13 mark, the white lady doing the sprinkler, ALL OF IT. It is 30 seconds of pure joy.

As great as the song selection and Steve’s dancing are, though, neither are the reason this is the best commercial on television. The honor goes to the guy in the blue shirt at the 0:19 mark. He shimmies across the screen making a duck face and pointing at the camera, and, in the process, he steals my heart. I bet I’ve watched his four second chunk of the commercial 50 times over the past couple days. Easy. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable when I say that MTV should reboot “The Grind” with him as the host. He’s a goddamn star.

So kudos to you, Jackson Hewitt. I’m still not exactly sure what it is you do because I’m too delighted by all the dancing to pay attention, but more companies should take your lead and feature people dancing to 90s R&B hits. I’d love to see what Blue Shirt Guy could do with “Motownphilly.”

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If you’ve watched any television at all over the past few weeks, there is well over a 100% chance you’ve seen the line of Hyundai commercials featuring this girl. My feelings on these spots have run the gamut, from “At least it’s not those Pomplamoose commercials from last year,” to “Jesus, that’s annoying,” to “Eh, they’re not that bad” to, now “These commercials fascinate me and I must know more about them.” It’s like Stockholm Syndrome, except my captor is a cute lady with a huge guitar. Anyway, here’s what I found out:

The singer in the spot? Jessica Frech. The Nashville-based self-described “singer, songwriter, ukulele-ista, slapstick YouTube video creator, college student (and) coffee house hermit” is enjoying her on-screen spotlight after Hyundai executives became fans of her comical video “People of Walmart.” The clip – which opens with a mock-warning that it features images of “real Walmart shoppers” – has garnered more than 5 million YouTube views since its posting in May.

“I (find) it hysterical that an accidental viral video gave me the opportunity to do a national Hyundai commercial,” Frech muses on her website.

As online commenters inspire Frech each week to write a song on her YouTube series “Song Challenge,” “Hyundai’s marketing team (Innocean) challenged me to write a song about Hyundai Assurance and how they have the best warranty around,” Frech writes. “But, I had to make it with a holiday feel.” [Billboard]

So, there you go. Another case of the Internet making someone a star. I feel a little better now that we got to the bottom of that. Although, as someone who once owned one, the line “All this stress this holiday, I’m glad I bought a Hyundai” will still make my eye twitch every time I hear it. A bottle or two of good bourbon? Sure. A flamethrower? Maybe. A Hyundai? Not so much.

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I love laughing at the past. Ha, you thought we were going to have flying (and folding) cars by now. Haha, you thought we’d have sassy robot maids who did not compute that it was time to take out the trash. Hahaha, you thought women couldn’t vote. (Joke’s on us for the first two, I guess?)

That’s why I like these Christmas commercials from the 1950s and 1960s so much. There’s something undeniably wonderful – nay, EGGNOG’y – about watching Santa carry around a carton of cigarettes to hawk to all the good little boys(‘ parents), or listening to a little girl say, “When I grow up, I want to be a mommy” while playing with a Betsy Wetsy doll. Do you have any In a Time Before Kwanzaa-era favorites I left off? Any Xmas toy ads from 1957 prominently featuring the words “lead paint”? Who could have known.

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Survivor (CBS) — What is wrong with these people? Did they not see last season? When Boston Rob won? Anybody who had a lick of sense would’ve taken the first opportunity to vote off the returning players, Ozzie and Coach. Now, they’ve let Coach — a mentally compromised man — run the show, and Ozzie is in an even better position on Redemption Island.

Psych (USA) — Jason Priestley and Tony (Buster) Hale guest star in tonight’s fall season finale, and apparently, midway through the episode, someone drops a bombshell. Three guesses: Shawn asks Juliet to marry him; Juliet says she’s pregnant; or Gus finally admits he’s in love with Shawn.

I Hate My Teenage Daugther (Fox) — But not as much as I hate this show.

The Soup: If this didn’t satiate your Joel McHale fix, then a new episode of “The Soup” ought to quench it. I’m pretty sure he won’t take his shirt off, though. But he might ride a unicorn while wearing a Rainbow Brite outfit.

Top Chef: I love “Top Chef.” It’s probably my favorite reality show, but this season there’s TOO MUCH Texas. Stop it with the chili and the steaks. If I wanted to watch someone make chili or steak, I’d tell my wife to get in the kitchen. And then she’d either laugh at me or kick my ass, depending on her mood.

The Funniest Commercials of the Year (TBS) — You could sit through 20 minutes of commercials to watch an hour long show about commercials, or you could just read this post, which contains the same commercials without the commercial interruptions.

A much quieter way to promote your product.

Have you ever thought, “Gee, is this Luvs commercial with the three babies on stage competing to see who can take the largest dump much louder than the episode of “Swamp Loggers” I’m watching, or am I just crazy? It sounds as if Tag Team is literally whoomping in my living room!” Well, no, hypothetical sir/madam, you’re not crazy; ads have been played at a higher volume than the program they’re airing during for years. Companies figure the way to compensate for people going to the kitchen during commercial breaks is to have a volume spike, SO WE CAN HEAR ABOUT APPLEBEE’S UNLIMITED RIBLETS SPECIAL from the other room.

But no longer. According to the Los Angeles Times:

Responding to years of complaints that the volume on commercials was much louder than that of the programming that the ads accompany, the FCC on Tuesday passed the Commercial Advertisement Loudness Mitigation Act to make sure that the sound level is the same for commercials and news and entertainment programming. (LA Times)

*Insert generic comment about the U.S. government actually doing something useful.* The act doesn’t go into effect until December 2012 — because stations need to “obtain and activate the technology that will allow them to live within the rules,” which sounds needlessly complicated — so you still have a full year of the torture that is Jennifer Lopez’s extra loud Fiat commercial to look forward to.