News out of CBS is that Craig Ferguson’s “Late Late Show” is nearing a deal that would keep him on the show at least through 2014. As part of the deal, Ferguson’s show would also move to a bigger set. I know this is great news for a lot of folks, because the people who do prefer Ferguson over the other late night hosts prefer him hard, as in, they get really bent out of shape if anyone suggests that Ferguson is anything less than the best late night host on the networks. I think he’s great: Charming, affable, and creative, and like Fallon, he managed to stay above the fray during the late night wars.

With Ferguson closing in on the deal, and Letterman also in negotiations to re-up for a couple more years, however, there is still an open question about who might replace Dave in 2014 or 2016 or 2018. I don’t know that Ferguson can attract a substantially larger audience, and I know that — before “The Daily Show” came along — Jon Stewart had a holding contract to replace Dave. There is also Conan, stranded over on TBS, who could jump back to the networks. But as much as I like all three of those guys, an eventual replacement will probably need to reinvent late night television to stay relevant. The audiences for both Jay and Dave skew older, and as they die off, there will be a need to incorporate a lot more new media in order to thrive. I don’t know if Ferguson could pull it off, but I do know that Ferguson is responsible for the best cold open in talk-show history.

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“Arrested Development” star Jeffrey Tambor showed up on last night’s “The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson” as Batgirl in a The Brave and the Bold-style team-up with Craig Ferguson, dressed like Paul McCartney dressed like Jessica Fletcher (and acting like Craig Ferguson) in the 2010 remake of “Murder She Wrote.” I’m pretty sure the Lobster Dog is supposed to be in that picture, I’m just not great at photoshop.

Craig Ferguson is simultaneously making the most subversive and least challenging program in modern television. The show has always toed the line between Un Chien Andalou surrealism and Jason Mewes butthole farting, so explaining the gentle nature of this sketch would work to destroy it. Wait, no it wouldn’t, the explanation is “Craig Ferguson does random things, then laughs about it.” Watch:

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Craig Ferguson filmed this “Doctor Who”-themed cold open for the “Late Late Show” a month ago, but it never aired because it used the “Doctor Who” theme music, and British lawyers were all “Oi guvna, that’s right copyrigh’ed material, it is!” Or something to that effect. All I know for sure is that they had powdered wigs.

Anyway, Ferguson has confirmed that this cold open will air on Thursday’s show, so… that’s cool, I guess. I’m sorry, if there are two types of TV shows I’m slow to like, it’s sci-fi stuff and British shows. Put them together, and it’s almost a guarantee I’ll never watch it. Then tell me that I HAVE to watch it, and I never will. So just stuff it up George III’s skeleton butt next to the Stamp Tax, because I’ve got my hands full barely tolerating American geeks.

On Wednesday, TV critic Alan Sepinwall of Hitfix.com reported that NBC has picked up an additional two episodes of “Community” for this season, bringing the total to 24.  While it would be easy for an excitable, hyperbole prone, law student in his late 20s (and we could be talking about anybody here) to proclaim that this can only be interpreted as a show of confidence as well as a sign that “Community” will win like a million Emmys every year and go down as a the most important half hour television program in world history, there are still some hoops to jump through.  Like, you know, getting picked up for a third season.  Baby steps, people.

Now all we need to do is get it a better time slot, away from the Death Star sized nerd-shadow of “The Big Bang Theory” and behind a strong lead-in.  Because if “Community” goes the way of “Arrested Development,” and then they tease us with a movie for years, and then the creator and one of the stars team up for a critically and commercially disappointing follow up, so help me God, I’ll… do… uh, something.  Admittedly, I haven’t thought this through.  But whatever it is, you’ll know it when it happens, NBC.  MY RAGE WILL BE NOTICED! (*shakes fist towards Comcast cable box*).  AAARRRRGGHHH!

(*takes deep breath*)

(by “deep breath,” I mean “seventeen Xanax”)

Oh hey, did you guys know Alison Brie was on Craig Ferguson’s show last week?  Pretty good interview.  She’s really quick on her feet.  Not that we didn’t already know that.  We’ll catch her one day, guys. (*patiently awaits Acme brand actress trap to come in the mail*)

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Shark Bites (Discovery Channel) — Craig Ferguson goes diving with sharks — without the benefit of a cage. Embedded below is an “Early Show” interview with Ferguson about the special. By the way, who writes the onscreen copy for that show?  ”Fearless Ferguson’s Fierce Fish Fable”? Yeah, good job with the alliteration, but next time check your dictionary. He’s a talk show host swimming with sharks, not the boy who cried wolf. PLUS: Shark Week, the Cliffs Notes version.

Tosh.0 (Comedy Central) — The secret ingredient is racist jokes.

Criss Angel: Mindfreak (A&E) — Season premiere. Criss Angel is why people still use “gay” as a derogatory term. Because everything about this show is gay. Not homosexual-gay, just bad-gay. I have a theory: if we chained cement blocks to Criss Angel and dropped him into the ocean, people would stop calling stupid things gay, thus promoting equality and tolerance. I think it’s worth a try.

Dark Blue (TNT) — Season premiere. Dylan McDermott is a cop; Tricia Helfer is a sexy FBI agent. No one gets naked.

Plain Jane (The CW) — I watched the premiere last week, and it was actually pretty good despite some typical reality TV overproduction. But last week’s Plain Jane was definitely a skinny girl with big boobs hiding behind baggy clothes and bad hair. It was straight out of Not Another Teen Movie. “She’s got glasses and a ponytail! Aw, look at that, she’s got paint on her overalls, what is that? Guys, there’s no way she could be prom queen!”

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