This video supposedly showing a live German TV report on a crashproof bike demonstration that GOES AWRY IN A COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED WAY has been making the rounds over the last few days. Far be from me to be overly critical, but who exactly do these krazee krauts think they’re fooling with this one? Like any self-respecting German person would show that kind of regard for an injured person. Also the conveniently fixed camera angle really gives it away. But mostly the thing about Germans not having emotions.

For my non-exchanging Internet money, you’re much better off with watching the dancing guy getting hit in the street by an ice cream truck, on account of its not complete fakeness. Also because I like the thought of vehicular homicide being perpetrated by someone who sells Hot Fries. You know Andy Capp would find it hilarious.

As you already heard about three days ago and talked about barbecues over the weekend, Dennis Hopper died from complications of prostate cancer on Saturday, cruelly upstaging the brief rekindling of our fondness for Gary Coleman. While Hopper will always be best known for his long and distinguished film career, his last role was as drug-addled music producer in the Starz series “Crash” (inset).

You can read the full New York Times obituary, but my favorite tribute was this paragraph from an April article about the actor’s life:

Dennis Hopper — actor, filmmaker, photographer, art collector, world-class burnout, first-rate survivor — never blew it. Unlike the villains and freaks he has played over the decades — the psycho with the mommy complex in “Blue Velvet,” the mad bomber with the grudge in “Speed” — he has made it through the good, the bad and some spectacularly terrible times. He rode out the golden age of Hollywood by roaring into a new movie era with “Easy Rider.” He hung out with James Dean, played Elizabeth Taylor’s son, acted for Quentin Tarantino. He has been rich and infamous, lost and found, the next big thing, the last man standing.

It’s safe to assume he also slayed more crazy hot tail than any of us could possibly imagine. I’d call that a pretty full life. Rest in peace, Easy Rider.

Butter-side down … Why does it always land butter-side down?

Crash (Starz) — Season premiere. None of the cast is the same as the movie of the same name, but the fact that this is based off the atrocious Best Picture Oscar-winner guarantees that I’ll never ever watch this.

Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader? (Fox) — Season finale, thank God. An astrophysicist who’s won a Nobel Prize competes for the top $1 million prize.

Eureka (Syfy) — Season finale. I remember writing a description about this show once. I no longer remember the content of that, though. Eureka’s a town where… people are special? Some kind of government-run town? I honestly don’t remember, and now I have to look it up. Ah, there we go.

2009 Alma Awards (ABC) — That’s American Latino Media Awards to you. George Lopez and Eva Longoria Parker host. I’d rather rub sand in my eyes. Of course, I’m gonna have to go buy some sand. And I don’t know if sand is graded, but…. coarse. (That’s for the enlightened who saw “Archer.”)

Untamed & Uncut (Animal) — Also the name of a gay porn.

College Football: Boise State at Fresno State (ESPN) — Vince from FilmDrunk is gonna be going crazy for Fresno State. He’s actually from that dirthole. It’s why he connects with meth heads so well.

The Tonight Show (NBC) — I’m going to tune in just to see if how Conan addresses Andy whaling on Wolf Blitzer.