A serial killer targeting Craigslist prostitutes has such a sophisticated understanding of investigation techniques that police now suspect the killer may work within a law enforcement agency. The killer — responsible for at least four bodies that turned up on Long Island — made a series of calls to taunt the victims’ families, always from a disposable cellphone in a highly-trafficked public place. In each case, he kept the phone call to less than three minutes to prevent police from pinpointing his location.

A series of taunting phone calls made to the teenage sister of one of the victims… were made from in or around some of the most crowded locations in New York City, including Madison Square Garden and Times Square…

The locations, detectives say, were probably chosen because they allowed the caller to blend into crowds, so that if investigators pinpointed his location from the cellphone’s signal, they would be unable to pick him out of the crowd using any nearby surveillance cameras, one of the people said.

This fact, as well as the killer’s use of disposable cellphones to contact the four victims who have been identified — women in their 20s who advertised their services on Craigslist — suggested to some investigators that the killer was well versed in criminal investigative techniques, gleaned either through personal experience or in some other way, and could even be in law enforcement himself. [NYT via Gizmodo]

Those are only the details the NYPD was willing to release; apparently, there are other aspects to the killer that reflect a “CSI”-like expertise. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is reason #23,742 why “Craigslist hooker” is an ill-advised career -path.

"Must. Maintain. Eye contact!"

I first became aware of Melinda Clarke in her role as the nasty vixen Julie Cooper on “The O.C.” At the time, I read a lot of Television Without Pity recaps of the show, which would always refer to Julie as “Lady Heather,” a reference to her popular dominatrix role on “CSI.” (My favorite episode: Lady Heather’s Box.) According to EW, Clarke will return to “CSI” to reprise that role:

The (one helluva) story: Human pets are at the center of an investigation by the CSI team. Apparently, a murder occurs within a strange offshoot of the dominatrix world in which rich people pay human beings to be their “pets” (gulp). Lady Heather, now Dr. Lady Heather, becomes professionally involved in the case.

Well of course she’s Dr. Lady Heather now. She busted her ass for seven years in dominatrix medical school. Although it might be worth looking into that “Lady” designator. I’ve got a feeling she’s not actually from a noble family.

On Friday, I posted one of the greatest scenes in television history: Justin Bieber getting shot to death during his guest starring role on “CSI.” Well, the Internet had a holiday weekend to go to work on this scene, and I’ve done my best to cobble together all the best remixes and animated GIFs I could find. By my modest estimate, I’ve now seen Bieber get shot approximately 300 times. I was like, baby, baby, baby, that’s time well spent.

Above: the best of the “extended cut” remixes, made by GorillaMask. Much more goodness on the following pages.

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Well, as if I needed further proof that I’m an evil son of a bitch, I laughed my ass off at this clip from last night’s episode of “CSI” in which Justin Bieber’s character is shot and killed (video below). Not like, “Haha, he got shot!” I mean pure, villainous cackling from the pit of my jet-black soul. “MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Yes! YES! Die, Bieber! Die and take your fans with you to hell! AHAHAHAHA!”

Seriously, I have problems.

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I’m a little bit behind on this news, but burlesque star Dita Von Teese guest starred on last night’s episode of “CSI.” I’d been saving the picture below for a couple weeks, waiting to use it for the applicable “What’s on Tonight” post, but I never write about “CSI” and then yesterday I got caught up in my excitement of “Parks and Rec” and “Community” so it passed without me making note of it.

Anyway, it’s not an earth-shattering story or anything, I just hate saving pictures and then never using them. Also, I wanted to make fun of the fact that her character was a teacher who moonlighted as burlesque dancer “Rita Von Squeeze.” That must’ve been a tough day in the “CSI” writers room.

Head Writer: Hey, Dita Von Teese is coming on the show. What should her character’s name be?
Writer 1: Cheetah Von Fleas?
Writer 2: Anita Gon’ Please?
Writer 3: Sweeta Von Bees?
Head Writer: We better make some coffee, it’s gonna be a long night.