Body of Proof (ABC) — Series premiere. “Dana Delany had it ALL: a great life, great family, a job as a big-shot neurosurgeon, probably a yacht somewhere, UNTIL… *truck horn* *tires screech* *CRASH*… She had to start over as a lowly medical examiner, where her obvious genius, unconventional methods, and sassy attitude help police solve crimes… if she doesn’t drive them crazy first.” Ladies and gentlemen, we’re going to need a bigger fart noise.

Teen Mom (MTV) — Season finale. Jenelle gets arrested for breaking and entering in the 90-minute season finale. For the love of God, America: BUY YOUR TEENAGE DAUGHTER BIRTH CONTROL.

Dancing with the Stars (ABC) — Tyler talked about this the other day, but it really is astounding how breathless Kirstie Alley gets after she dances. I caught a couple minutes of last night’s episode, and Alley was STILL gasping for air a full three minutes after she had danced for less than two minutes. There are fish that breathe air more efficiently.

The Game (BET) — Season finale. This has gotten amazing ratings this season, probably because BET and TBS are the only channels that make scripted shows with black casts any more. Remember when networks aired successful shows like “Cosby” and “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air”? Feels like ancient history.

Real Housewives of Miami (Bravo) — Season finale. This edition hasn’t generated much in the way of buzz or ratings, which means that it could be the second “Real Housewives” to get canceled. Just thinking about that gives me a partial.

LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Paul Giamatti and Olivia Munn on Conan; Howie Mandel on Leno (double woof); Britney Spears and Johnny Knoxville on Kimmel; Vanessa Hudgens on George Lopez; Larry King on Ferguson; and Liv Tyler on Fallon. Full listings at TV Squad.

UPDATE: high-res image via philadelphia will do

Andy Richter mopped the floor with Dana Delany and Wolf Blitzer on “Celebrity Jeopardy!” last night, finishing with a total of $68,000 that will go to his charity, St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. Wolf Blitzer, meanwhile, played the role of Sean Connery on Saturday Night Live’s spoof, minus the Trebek insults: he wound up thousands of dollars in the red. Apparently he’s too busy in the Situation Room to know what fettuccine looks like.

You can watch the entire episode below (see the 1:50 mark in part 2 to grasp Blitzer’s ignorance of pasta). And yes, I know: the questions are ridiculously easy. Still, Richter’s dominance is unbelievable: I kept a running tally of his performance, and he answered about two-thirds of all the clues correctly — twice as many Blitzer and Delany combined. He was incorrect only twice the entire game. (I can only hope that this topic surfaces on this evening’s “Tonight Show.”)

Updated intelligence ranking scale: comedians > actors > news anchors. I’m not sure whether to put reality TV stars before or after news anchors.

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