There’s really not a lot of TV news this afternoon, so I’d like to take this opportunity to say rest in peace to Etta James. The legendary singer passed away today at the age of 73. For anyone like me who grew up with soul and R&B music playing in the house on a steady loop, her songs were a necessary part of the rotation. Few could sing like her while she was alive, and few will be able to sing like her going forward. The lady could wail.

After the jump, I’ve posted a clip of her performing her signature song, “At Last,” on a 2009 episode of “Dancing with the Stars.” Even in her early 70s, she killed it dead. We should just go ahead and retire that song. Ain’t no one gonna do it better.

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NCIS (CBS) — “How do you solve a murder when your father is the prime suspect?” Well, you probably are taken off the case, but disregarding the thinnest shred of realism has never stopped “NCIS” before. Robert Wagner guest stars as Michael Weatherly’s father, and only time will tell if Mark Harmon & Co. can help Wagner walk away from murder charges like he did with Natalie Wood.

Rock Stars (Nat Geo) — Series premiere. Another docu-drama in the “danger blue-collar profession” vein, this series follows crews working to stabilize rock faces that threaten to endanger human life below.

Dancing with the Stars (ABC) — Season finale. If Rob Kardashian, who has done nothing noteworthy with his life except be related to sluts, defeats J.R. Martinez, who was burned alive in a Humvee in Iraq while serving his country, it might just be the last straw for me. I may have to quit this job to hunt down and eradicate every member of the Kardashian family.

Workaholics (Comedy Central) — Season finale. The guys plan the coolest Thanksgiving ever: going to party resort Hedonism II.

Sons of Anarchy (FX) — The club’s building animosity towards an ever-more-villainous Clay makes me think that his death feels almost TOO inevitable. I feel like Kurt Sutter might be leading us up to a big left turn that leaves Clay alive going into Season 5.

LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Amy Sedaris on Letterman; Dane Cook on Leno; Dana Delany and David Beckham on Kimmel; Jason Segel on Ferguson; Howie Mandel and Warming Glow Illegal Jailbait Crush™ Chloe Moretz on Fallon. That girl needs to turn 18 with a quickness.

SITE NEWS: Sorry to ditch out a little early, but I’ve got a flight to catch. We’ll be back tomorrow with some features from Josh Kurp and a mostly-full day of posting.

Dancing with the Stars (ABC) – Now that Kristin Cavallari and Elisabetta Canalis have been voted off, I assume viewers of this show will go back to their usual Monday night plans of hiding in the bushes outside fitness centers and throwing ham at yoga instructors.

Terra Nova/House (FOX) – They should do an episode of “House” where the team tries to figure out why I don’t give a crap about “Terra Nova.”

Hart of Dixie (CW) – When this show was announced, I COULD NOT BELIEVE I hadn’t come up with the idea first. A one-hour drama about an attractive young doctor who is taken out of her element and forced to adapt to new surroundings while finding love with a mysterious local? With a title that is a pun based on the lead character’s name? Starring Rachel Bilson from “The O.C.”? That’s pitch is so Danger Guerrero they might as well have had Boyz II Men sing the theme song. Then I looked through all my TV pitches and realized I DID come up with it, just way further south and with a dude in the lead role. Crisis averted.

Keeping Up with the Kardashians (E!) – The TWO HOUR second part of the Kim Kardashian wedding special. People who watch this show should be rounded up and shot out of a cannon two at a time into some sort of… um, poop… slime… canyon. Admittedly I haven’t thought this one through all the way. Don’t worry, I’ll figure it out once I get to Poop Slime Canyon.

Five (Lifetime) – A breast cancer special featuring five short films, including one directed by Jennifer Aniston. Look, I like Jennifer Aniston. I have defended Jennifer Aniston. I support things that raise awareness about cancer prevention. But when most of the country views you as a sad lady who will always be unlucky in love, the phrase “directing a Lifetime special” ain’t helping.

Here’s what I wrote before yesterday’s “Dancing with the Stars” results show:

Chaz Bono was once again in last place, with Nancy Grace clomping along near the bottom as well. But I’d lay my money on Kristin Cavallari getting voted off. Ugh, did you see the way that bitch looked beautiful while dancing with skill and grace? The nerve!

Oh hey guess what happened.

Kristin Cavallari was as shocked and bummed as everyone else to be shown the door on Tuesday night’s elimination episode of Dancing with the Stars. The reality star, 24, scored high marks and praise from the judges in the first three weeks of the ABC smash — nabbing 24 out of 30 points (just 3 points shy of leader Ricki Lake) for her “Crazy in Love” samba with Mark Ballas on Monday’s show.

“I’m really sad,” Cavallari told Us Weekly after the elimination at Ubisoft ‘s launch of Just Dance 3 at The Beverly in West Hollywood. She mused that, perhaps, viewer votes had little do with her actual dancing skills. “It is what it is,” she told Us. “That’s the thing with Dancing with the Stars, you never know,” she said, laughing. “It’s clearly not a dance competition!”

Nicely done, sexually frustrated housewives who let their bodies go after having kids. Way to stick it to the Italian model and beautiful young reality star. They should change the name of the show from “Dancing with the Stars” to “Shame Vendettas.” If I were Hope Solo or Chynna Phillips, I’d skip dance rehearsal this week and just eat cake. Just put on as many pounds as possible.

I don’t watch “Dancing with the Stars.” I’m not emotionally invested in the show. But I believe in honesty and fair competition. If something is billed as a talent show, then the people with the most talent and best performances should fare better than the ones who are overweight and confused and graceless.

But that’s not what “Dancing with the Stars” is. Last night, Italian model/actress Elisabetta Canalis and her partner Val Cherminskiy were the second couple eliminated despite having the third-highest score that week. For the love of God, Cher’s fat tranny daughter/son had the worst score and stayed on the show. That’s inexcusable.

Critics of Canalis were turned off by the fact that she argued with Chreminskiy during rehearsals, but we all know what the real story is: the legions of tubby, jealous housewives who vote for “DWTS” hate attractive women. This happens every goddamn year. Who are you people? Show yourselves. Tell me where you are. I will come to your front door and punch you right in the gunt.