“Douchebag” has come a long way since the 1960s when its meaning was spun-off from vaginal cleaning contraption into the most commonly used pejorative in the English language. Used to describe arrogant, self-obsessed a**holes, douchebags themselves have also taken on a endearing quality in recent years. That is to say: Not all douchebags are created equally: Some are loathsome, some are lovable, and some are just plain funny. 2011 was a great for douchebags, as the following slideshow recounting the biggest d-bags of the year will attest.

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Great news, everybody. Every date rapist’s favorite comedian Dane Cook has signed a development deal with NBC.

Amid interest from multiple networks, the actor-comedian has signed a development deal with NBC for a half-hour project targeted for next fall. Cook will star in the comedy and produce through his SUperFInger Entertainment banner. [Deadline]

I know that the cool thing for me to do here is to announce my hatred of Cook for his various crimes — the Louis C.K. joke thing, “Tourgasm,” Good Luck Chuck, his fans — but his appearance on “Louie” has softened my distaste for him. He’s actually a pretty decent actor as long as he’s playing someone I don’t like. And while I doubt I’ll want to watch him in a sitcom every week, I’m not going to go out of my way to flame a TV show that doesn’t even exist yet. I mean, I should at least wait to see if it’s worse than “Whitney.”

While watching last night’s “Louie,” I tweeted that the opening scene — in which Louie’s comedic integrity leads to him quitting a sitcom — might have been my favorite in the show’s history. That sentiment lasted all of about 20 minutes, when Louie meets with Dane Cook because Cook is Louie’s only hope to get his daughter Lady Gaga tickets.

What ensues is nothing short of brilliant television. Cook, widely accused of stealing some of C.K.’s jokes, gets a chance to defend himself here, and C.K. presents the other side without being accusatory. And while it’s easy to dismiss this with “What’s the big deal? It’s two famous comedians arguing over jokes,” there’s a lot more to it than that. It’s about looking our enemies in the eye and seeing them as humans; it’s about letting go of anger; it’s about doing things you don’t want to do to make your kid happy; it’s about doing things you don’t want to do to make some kid you don’t even know happy. It’s well-written, it’s well-acted, and both comedians come out the other side as more sympathetic people — both as characters on the show and as real people in the viewer’s eyes. Just terrific. A+ for everyone involved. Even Dane Cook.

(thanks to Videogum for uploading this — Gabe’s got a nice little screed about this, too.)

The guy with the facial hair won “American Idol” last night, because — duh — the person not favored to win ALWAYS wins. I thought we finally learned this after Adam Lambert lost last year? Anyway, I guess it’s better than dealing with that disgusting unwashed hippie.

Other crap happened on the finale, too. Bret Michaels sang “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” (video). Not well, mind you, but the guy has been fighting off death for the last six weeks, so I think he gets a pass. That guy’s harder to kill than Rasputin.

Also, in the video below, Dane Cook sings a song about Simon Cowell before being interrupted by some “Idol” loser named Ian Benardo. Ugh, I just shuddered writing that sentence. I can’t think of anything that could be farther from entertaining. I’d rather watch douchepaint dry on an assh*le wall.

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Go ahead and fondle your secretary on your way out of work today, then do all the drugs you can find, get a hooker, and kill someone in cold blood. You may as well, because the world ends tonight at 10:00 Eastern, when Jay Leno’s guests are Dane Cook and Kim Kardashian. Let me say that again: Jay Leno, Dane Cook, and Kim Kardashian. You can’t possibly squeeze less talent into one show unless you’re making an MTV reality series.

This apocalyptic nightmare, by the way, comes on the heels of President Obama bumping “The Jay Leno Show” from NBC’s lineup last night. Guess what happened.

A primetime speech from President Obama forced NBC to squeeze out “The Jay Leno Show” for the first time this fall. The result, not so coincidentally, was a demographic win for the network… Among adults 18-49, NBC won the night with a 3.2 rating. CBS was second with a 2.4 rating, nipping the 2.1 rating for FOX.

Let’s all cut Obama some slack, okay? Television without Leno is change I can believe in.