Tosh.0 (Comedy Central) — The closest thing left to “appointment viewing television” this summer (until “Mad Men” begins), Mr. Tosh gives the bi-polar and schizophrenic, “Looking for a Girlfriend Guy” a Web Redemption.   This young stud’s video overture kicks off with detailed information about his contact lenses, with a seamless transition into talking about his d*ck.  So what’s the problem?

Toddlers and Tiaras (TLC) — Appointment viewing television for pedophiles and psychotic mothers.

Mythbusters (Discovery) — Ugh, more duct-tape myths.  Mythbuster Kari Byron could probably pass for Christina Hendricks’ uglier, fatter sister.  Wait, she was just pregnant?  Well maybe not her fatter sister then. 

Man v. Food (Travel) — Host Adam Richman stops for Sushi in exotic…….. Salt Lake City, Utah.  Meh, give me “Man vs. Wild” any day.

Billy the Exterminator (A&E) — This show’s tagline should read, “Making ‘Dog the Bounty Hunter’ Appear Regal.”

Justin Bieber: My World (E!) — “Justin Bieber’s life and career are the focus.”  This has to be an hour long?  I mean how dare they take away precious airtime from “Kourtney and Khloe Derp Miami.”

Germany vs. Spain (Replay) (ESPN2) — I really think the Germans could have pulled out a win if they wore their throw-back uniforms.  You know, black shorts, khaki shirt, red arm band….

The Real World (MTV) — Apparently, one of the cast members ends up in hospital in this, the second episode of the 24th Season—so they seem to be right on track.  Pedro must be spinning in his grave.  This show needs more C.H.U.D’s!

Despite its rapid proliferation around the Web, I’ve never written about the Bros Icing Bros phenomenon because it never made its way to TV in any memorable way. I also never wrote about it because I thought it was stupid, and I informed my friends that if they tried to ice me I would attack them with the bottle. Except I probably wouldn’t. I’m a dick, but even I draw the line at assaulting my friends for playing a good-natured prank on me.

Thankfully, Daniel Tosh has writers that he can assault for comedic purposes. Man, I wish I had writers. You can really treat those guys like crap. *reads comments, cries*

Daniel Tosh followed the Web trend of people making “I hate…” videos and recorded his own list of things he hates. And I don’t like being so shameless about someone I admire, but everything on this list… just… yes. What he said. I hate homeless people trying to shake my hand, too! I hate bathroom attendants! I hate everything that Tosh hates, even myself. Especially myself. Tosh for god-king!

Before the second season has even begun, Comedy Central has renewed “Tosh.0″ for a third year. The Live Feed says:

The network announced “at least” 29 more episodes, set to debut next January. The second season will get underway in June. The upcoming season consists of 25 episodes, which the network picked up when it announced an overall deal with star Daniel Tosh back in December. [more on that here - Ed.]

I’ve made no secret of my love for this show, largely because of segments like Asians doing Walken impressions and the Web Redemption where the guy pukes milk and blood, but also because Tosh fits so well in the role of mocking the Internet. He finds the right balance between cruelty to others and being self-deprecating. That’s the only way I can explain how he survived wearing all those cardigans.

On last night’s “Tosh.0,” Daniel Tosh revealed that Apple gave him a new iPad to try out before the product goes on sale. And then he promptly cut to video of him laying waste to it with a golf club. The video below shows the damage nicely, but it leaves out Tosh’s unbridled joy at destroying something that any number of tech geeks would sell their souls to try before the launch date:

“We never even turned it on! [laughs] Ohhhh… how does that feel, nerds?”

I’m not quite sure why I enjoyed that so much. I think part of it has to do with Apple loyalists’ condescension to anything that isn’t a Mac, but what I really enjoy is Tosh’s unabashed meanness. I’d pay good money to watch him push people down the stairs. Or I could push people down the stairs, and he could laugh at them. The point is, more people should be getting pushed down the stairs.

Read the rest of this entry »