Today is the first official day of autumn, so you celebrities out there can finally exhale: the seasonal orgy of death has come to a close. I’ll always remember summer ‘09 for the days that Twitter taught me how to grieve: for David Carradine’s apparent Michael Hutchence impression, for Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson on the same day, for a 4th of July marred by Steve McNair’s murder.
Some people will tell you that there wasn’t a death trend, and you need to seek out those contrarians and hammer their gonads with a rubber mallet. Jezebel recently made the mistaken claim that because a couple people who were most famous in the ’70s and ’80s died, today’s writers — mostly in their 30s and 40s — waxed nostalgic and thus it was misdiagnosed as a trend.
In 2008, for example, we lost Studs Terkel, in his nineties, like Cronkite; Paul Newman at 83, like [Dominick] Dunne; Michael Crichton of cancer in his sixties, like Fawcett; Tim Russert of a heart attack in his late fifties, like Hughes and Carroll; Bernie Mac unexpectedly at age 50, like Jackson; not to mention Jeff Healey and Brad Renfro, respectively far too young and far, far too young. Beloved Golden Girl Bea Arthur died in 2009 — and beloved Golden Girl Estelle Getty died in 2008. So what’s the big deal about this year?
Oh, I’m sorry. Help me out. Which former All-Pro and NFL MVP was shot in the chest at age 36 by his mistress in 2008? Which badass actor died of autoerotic asphyxiation in Thailand in 2008? You’re telling me this was normal? You can blame a celeb-obsessed culture and Twitter all you want, but there’s no getting around the fact that a high number of celebrity deaths were grouped unusually tightly over the course of a season.
And now it’s over. I’m kind of nostalgic for it already.
It was a week ago that David Carradine was found dead in his Bangkok hotel room, and as more details emerge, the circumstances surrounding his death only sound weirder and freakier and kinkier. Which is to say: more awesome and sexy. Director Ulli Lommel, who worked with Carradine on the film Absolute Evil, said this:
“[Carradine] repeatedly mentioned the fact that he was searching for the meaning of life and his desire to know more about the mystery of death. He also stated that in moments of intense sexual activities one could get a glimpse of God and the aftermath.” [Radar]
Meanwhile, TMZ reportedly saw a photograph taken from the death scene.
The photo — published by a Thai tabloid — shows a body suspended from a bar in a closet, with his hands bound together above his head. Carradine’s genitals were also tied.
But the new sharper image also reveals what appears to be fishnet stockings covering the body. You can also see red women’s lingerie on the bed. And, it appears, Carradine may have been wearing a dark wig.
I need to make it clear how much I’m NOT making fun of this. I really do think it sounds like an awesome way to die. But what do I know? I’m just a guy who pays hookers to step on my junk.
Walken + Carradine = Best. Party. Ever. Outta the way, Michael Moriarty!
David Carradine, who died from either auto-erotic asphyxiation or foul play, will be shown in a guest-starring role in next week’s episode of “Mental” on Fox, the new drama that’s basically “House” but with a psychiatrist who doesn’t limp. From the Washington Post:
In the episode, Carradine plays a famous professor, author and philosopher named Gideon Graham, who lapses into a non-responsive catatonic state after being struck by lightning. Determined to bring Gideon back to the “real world,” our hero Jack attempts a highly unorthodox treatment that carries great risk to the patient, Fox promises.
Nothing suggestive of yesterday’s news figures into the unorthodox treatment, which is good because otherwise the network would have had to pull the episode; instead, “Mental” stands to attract more viewers in light of the Carradine news.
That sound you hear is the combination of cash register doors dinging and Fox executives trading high-fives. “Way to book the guy who died, John! Hey, are Farrah Fawcett and Patrick Swayze looking for work?”
As you’ve no doubt seen by now, the most recent reports about the death of David Carradine indicate that the actor was discovered naked and with a chord around his neck, suggesting that the initial report of “natural causes” meant “natural causes in Thailand.”
Thai police told the BBC the 72-year-old was found naked by a hotel maid in a wardrobe with a cord around his neck and other parts of his body. [...]
Thai newspaper The Nation reported that police believe the actor took his own life, and preliminary investigations found that he hanged himself. [BBC]
I’d like to make it clear that the rumors about the rope around his genitals don’t have a legitimate source; I would guess that it’s inflated speculation about the phrase “…and other parts of his body” in the BBC report. Seems pretty insensitive, considering that a well-loved performer died. But on the other hand, I laughed at this “CSI: Miami” cartoon, so I’m not really in a position to wag my finger at anyone.
(image via @loljocks_grimey)
David Carradine, 73, has been found dead in his Bangkok hotel room. The actor, who was in Thailand to film a movie, will be best remembered for his roles as Kwai Chang Caine in “Kung Fu” and the titular character in Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill films, but my favorite Carradine project is probably Death Race 2000. It was CARmageddon!
His agent confirmed his death this morning, saying the actor had been in great spirits. He said he believed Carradine died of natural causes [...]
Over the years, he appeared in over 200 motion pictures and television dramas, and numerous plays. He was also a producer, director, writer, and composer for the screen as well. [ABC]
Bummer. Carradine was one of those actors that seemed to just get better and cooler as he got older. But he died the way I want to die: in a Bangkok hotel room. Of course, my ideal death involves premium black tar heroin and at least two Thai hookers, but sure, natural causes is okay. I guess.
