Sarcastic, scruffy everyman Adam Scott appeared on “Late Show with David Letterman” yesterday to discuss, among other things, the time he and “Parks and Recreation” co-star Nick Offerman were invited to a dorm party at Caltech. For some reason (because they’re cheap?), NBC regularly hosts “big, fancy parties” at colleges, and while walking the red carpet at Caltech, a bunch of students, after screaming “YOU SUCK,” asked if Scott wanted to party with them. He said, “Sure,” because who wouldn’t want to party with a bunch of drunken science nerds, and asked Offerman to join him, to “blow some minds.”

I won’t give away the rest of the clip, but needless to say, I’d party with Ben Wyatt and Ron Swanson any time. I mean, “party” as in drink beers, not the other way. Swanson’s masculinity intimidates me (it’s the mustache). Also, Adam Scott needs to finish every story by doing this:

While wearing a Batman suit, preferably.

Read the rest of this entry »

Conan O’Brien will be a guest on “The Late Show with David Letterman” next Thursday, which will be his first appearance on the show in over 10 years, and also the first time the two former NBC late-night hosts will have spoken publicly since Conan got jobbed out of “The Tonight Show” in 2010 by Chins McGillicutty. Seeing as Letterman got hosed out of the same job by the same guy almost 20 years earlier, I imagine they’ll have plenty to talk about. Conan has tried very hard to take the high road in the past while discussing the events that led to his exit from NBC, but Letterman gleefully takes every opportunity he can to mock Leno, so this certainly seems like must-watch television for anyone who likes either of the two, or just hates Leno’s big dumb face.

Speaking of Conan, Nina Dobrev from “The Vampire Diaries” was a guest on his show last night, and she did some kind of yoga thingy that involved her folding herself up like cannoli and rubbing his swimsuit area with her bare feet, much to the delight of Conan and fellow guest Joel McHale (see left side of the banner pic). I will temporarily put aside my firm belief that feet are disgusting and should be covered up at all times to make this point: Between Alison Brie’s innuendo-heavy balloon animal work last night on “The Tonight Show,” and whatever the hell Nina Dobrev is doing here, being a late-night talk show host looks cool and you should probably quit your job to go become one.

Read the rest of this entry »

Jon Hamm was on Letterman last night, and he was his typical handsome, affable self, telling Dave anecdotes about injuring himself on the set of “Mad Men,” and the time he tried to walk-on to the baseball team at the University of Texas, but quickly gave up after trying to catch a fastball from teammate Roger Clemens. That second story was certainly cool, but if it caused your “Wait A Second, Isn’t Roger Clemens Like Ten Years Older Than Jon Hamm?” senses to tingle, you may have been onto something. You see, Deadspin did a little research into Hamm’s story, and it turns out that he attended Texas in 1989, six years after Clemens graduated. This means one of two things: 1) Jon Hamm may have been lying, or 2) Roger Clemens can throw a baseball so fast that it can travel six years into the future. If the latter is true, Brian McNamee might want to think about wearing a helmet for most of 2013.

Perhaps this is because I love Jon Hamm and think he’s great on “Mad Men” and feel like we’d be friends if he would JUST ANSWER MY LETTERS, but I still want to give him the benefit of the doubt. When Hamm starts telling the story, Letterman interrupts to clarify by saying “When you were a freshman, he was a senior?”, and he stammers a little before replying “Sure.” So MAYBE what happened was that Roger Clemens came back to practice with his alma mater one day, and Jon Hamm ended up catching for him while he was getting in a little work off the mound, and when Letterman asked him about it, Hamm either didn’t remember the specifics or didn’t feel like getting into them in the middle of his story. That could have happened, right? RIGHT? SAY IT AIN’T SO, JON.

[clears throat]

If he is lying, I think it’s important that we direct the blame at the real guilty party here: Betty Draper. F-ck her.

Read the rest of this entry »

Survivor (CBS) — (Season premiere) I watch two reality shows: “Survivor” and “Top Chef.” Every year, I think that I’ll finally lose interest in “Survivor,” and every year, I continue to watch. The gimmicks are the worst — and this year, the two tribes are separated into male and female tribes and will live together on the same beach — and practically every iteration of the game has been played half a dozen times. But I’ll keep watching. I can’t help myself. There’s a dwarf on this season, how can I not?

The Middle/Suburgatory/Modern Family/Happy Endings (ABC) — Tonight’s episode of “Happy Endings,” which will center on Max’s relationship with Grant, was directed by Kyle Newacheck, creator and star of “Workaholics.” He also directed an episode of “Community.” That’s the kind of hard-hitting information you won’t find on other TV blogs.

Only in American with Larry the Cable Guy (History) — Fun Fact: “Whitney” is also on Wednesday nights, Whitney Houston died last Saturday, and Larry the Cable Guy’s real name is Daniel Whitney. Did I just blow your mind? No? OK, here’s Larry the Cable Guy’s real voice, maybe that’ll do the trick.

Top Chef (Bravo) — (SPOILER) They eliminated Ed last week. There’s no point in watching anymore. He may have been the best contestant in the show’s history, and he was eliminated by freakin’ Pee Wee Herman.

Oprah’s Oscar Special (OWN) — I know that Oprah has her own network now, but I couldn’t even tell you if I had that station. Has anyone stumbled upon it? What else does it show besides Oprah’s talk show? Drew Carey reruns?

LATE NIGHT GUESTS — JON STEWART IS ON LETTERMAN. JON STEWART IS ON LETTERMAN. JON STEWART IS ON LETTERMAN. Ahem. It’s funny; the only time you ever see Stewart suck up to anyone, it’s on Dave. It’s kind of cute. Leno counters with Bill Maher (ha!), Kimmel has Miley Cyrus, Ferguson hosts Jon Cryer, and Carson Daly has Deadmau5. I have no idea who Deadmau5 is. Can’t wait.

This clip has already been almost everywhere today, but in the interest of Leno-bashing completeness, I feel like we should post it here as well. In it, Letterman and guest Howard Stern discuss the late night wars, and Dave’s complicated relationship with his nemesis. It’s clear neither guy cares too much for Leno, but Letterman does his best to try to remain as diplomatic as he can possibly be considering Leno screwed him out of his dream job and then proceeded to mail said job in for years. Which is to say, he does a funny impression of Jay and high-fives Stern when the newest “America Got Talent” host says he refuses to do “The Tonight Show” even though he’s an NBC employee now. Quite a bit of restraint, all things considered.

One other item of note: I don’t know if you guys have noticed, but sometimes when I do the What’s On Tonight post, I swap out Leno’s name with ones like “Butthead McGoo” or “Chins McFartypants.” This is admittedly not very nice, but then again, neither is going to disturbing lengths to hose two much funnier and more passionate people out a show they both had a pretty good claim to at the time. Turnabout is fair play, Mr. Fartypants.