ABC has released two new “Desperate Housewives” promotional pictures, and as you… *yawn*... can see… they’re… soooo… sleepyyyy.
ABC revealed: ‘Susan and Mike are brought together by their worst fears; Lynette’s unexpected pregnancy tests her family; as Bree’s (Marcia Cross) marriage dissolves, she finds herself in the arms of another man; Gabrielle (Eva Longoria Parker) is in for a surprise when she and Carlos (Ricardo Antonio Chavira) welcome their niece, Ana (Maiara Walsh), into their home; and Katherine struggles over the thought of losing Mike.’ [Daily Mail]
I wasn’t just being dramatic in that introduction; I honestly can’t stop yawning. I’ve yawned four times since I started writing this — wait, make that five. That’s more yawns than original sentences (six yawns). (Seven.) Okay, this post is over. I gotta stop before I dislocate my jaw.
Drea de Matteo’s gonna be on “Desperate Housewives” next season as the replacement for Nicolette Sheridan. From EW’s Michael Ausiello:
Emmy-winning Sopranos heroine Drea de Matteo is joining the cast as Wisteria Lane’s newest vixenish housewife, sources confirm to me exclusively.
Sources confirm to me exclusively that “vixenish” is the stupidest and most unnecessary word I’ll read all day.
De Matteo, who will be a series regular, will play the matriarch of a new Italian family. Casting is underway for her landscape designer husband and their tightly wound son.
This is a step in the right direction. Now they only need to replace the other four lead actresses with hot cool chicks (I’m thinking Diane Lane, Marisa Tomei, Maria Bello, and your mom), hire some new writers, and move it to HBO from ABC. Basically, this could be a pretty good show if all the characters were different and it was told in a completely different way, with plenty of nudity and swearing.
As previously reported, “Desperate Housewives” planned to Durst the shark with lesbian kisses between its aging stars, and on Sunday night the big gay smooches finally happened. The NY Post’s LIVE blog even got us the images, although I’m afraid it may be too edgy and sexy for most readers.
When Susan (Teri Hatcher) invites her boss Jessie (Swoosie Kurtz) over for dinner, Jessie misreads Susan’s intentions and plants a lingering kiss on the housewife.
After, Susan turns to her neighbors for some friendly advice on the touchy subject. Gabby (Eva Longoria Parker) locks lips with Susan – twice – to help demonstrate the difference between an innocent, and an intended, kiss on her confused gal pal.
Oh, no! My monitor’s fogging up from that steamy, illicit news! This is hardly the wholesome family entertainment I expect from ABC. I have no choice now but to boycott “Desperate Housewives.” By which I mean “continue not watching it.”
“Desperate Housewives” is the latest show to jump up and down and wave its arms to get your attention, as it has employed the classic last gasp to avoid cancellation: the lesbian kiss. The once-hot Teri Hatcher and the always annoying Eva Longoria will share an unsexy kiss in an upcoming episode. Because what suburban neighborhood doesn’t have moms kissing each other?
“I did not kiss her. She kissed me,” Hatcher told Us. “We had fun.”
(Parker previously told Us, “Well, I’m a great kisser. She was not supposed to kiss back, so she was kind of just there, and I had to do all the work.)
I despise the term jump the shark, so I think it’s time that we supplanted it with lesbian kiss. Like, “Man, ‘Lost’ really lesbian kissed with the time travel stuff.” Or, “I enjoyed ‘The O.C.’ until it lesbian kissed.” Not that lesbian kissing is a bad thing. I just prefer to watch it on the Internet. In my room. By myself.
