TV Guide has released a list of what the top television stars earn, and while the recession and lower revenues have forced networks to pay some stars less, looking nice and pretending to be someone else on camera still beats the hell out of that master’s degree you got in social work just to make $40,000 a year.

Oprah leads all on-air talent by making a staggering $315 million annually, followed by — WHAAA? — Judge Judy? Judge Judy somehow makes 45 MILLION DOLLARS. Per year. I am completely baffled by that.

Other notables: Ryan Secrest gets $15M a year for “American Idol,” Charlie Sheen $1.25M PER EPISODE for “Two and a Half Men,” Jon Cryer $550K/episode on the same show, Hugh Laurie $400K+ for “House,” and the four main stars of “Desperate Housewives” — Teri Hatcher, Eva Longoria Parker, Marcia Cross, and Felicity Huffman — all make $400K an episode. Across a 22-episode season, that’s $35.2M in salary for a lousy excuse for a comedy, which is more money than I can fathom. I couldn’t spend thirty-five million dollars on hookers and drugs if I tried. But man, would I love to try.

Full list after the jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

There are a couple things that have been in the news this week that I feel obligated to write updates about. First of all, Bruce Beresford-Redmond, the “Survivor” producer whose wife turned up dead from strangulation in Mexico, has been released from police custody. However, he’s still a person of interest and can’t leave the country until the investigation is concluded.

As for the Nicollette Sheridan lawsuit in which she claims “Desperate Housewives” creator Marc Cherry assaulted her, the latest comes from The Daily Beast, which reports that Cherry marginalizes women working on the show:

“He hates women,” said one person who has worked on set. “It’s apparent on set that he’s a fan of cute, gay men, not women.”

“He will dress you down in front of the staff. He will assault an idea,” said another. “He is very confrontational in this way. He has hissy fits.”

Whoa, stop the presses! A gay man is bitchy and prefers cute men to women? Notify the Pulitzer committee!

Yesterday, we heard all about Nicollette Sheridan’s massive $20M lawsuit against ABC and “Desperate Housewives” creator Marc Cherry. Sheridan alleged that Cherry hit her in the face on set, and then killed off her character because she complained. Another way of looking at it, if you’re not Nicollette Sheridan, might be that…

Cherry’s so-called “extremely abusive and aggressive manner” is grossly exaggerated. What happened is there was a scene in which Neal McDonough, who played Nicollette’s husband for the 5th season, was supposed to slap the actress. [According to one insider], during filming on September 24, 2008, Sheridan wasn’t reacting the right way. So Cherry was on the set supervising and in that context only he struck her. “He was showing her on set how it should be played. Ninety people on the set know what happened,” one insider explains. [Deadline]

Hmmm… so there’s a chance that a disgruntled former employee might be making an exaggerated claim in order to get money from a big corporation? That sounds too outlandish to be true. Especially in Hollywood. I thought people in the entertainment industry had a reputation for being honest and forthright.

Nicollette Sheridan — pictured here with beaus Harry Hamlin (1990) and Michael Bolton (1993) — has filed a lawsuit against ABC and “Desperate Housewives” creator Marc Cherry for $20 million, alleging that Cherry assaulted her and then fired her when she complained about it. There are all sorts of entertaining details — if the very serious and unfunny issue of alleged male-to-female violence is funny to you, you sick bastard — but here are some of the highlights:

Sheridan says the assault went down like this: “On September 24, 2008, during a rehearsal for the show, when Sheridan questioned Cherry about something that was in the script, Cherry took her aside and forcefully hit her with his hand across her face and head.”

She says she was “physically and emotionally injured, humiliated and stunned by Cherry’s sudden physical violence and stated, ‘you just hit me in the head, that is not okay. THAT IS NOT OKAY!’ “

Sheridan says Cherry’s abusive behavior was well-known on the set: “After an incident where Sheridan’s co-star on the show Teri Hatcher went above Cherry’s head to speak to ABC executives, Cherry told Sheridan, ‘I hope Teri Hatcher gets hit by a car and dies.’ “

Sheridan, whose character was killed off near the end of Season 5, also says her compensation for the show was $175,000 an episode for her fifth year, $200,000 for her sixth season and $250,000 for her seventh. She claims she stood to earn millions if she hadn’t been fired.

You know who should’ve been fired? Whoever thought Nicollette Sheridan was worth six figures an episode in the first place. In a related story, using “Nicollette” is Asia’s preferred method to quit smoking.

Yesterday afternoon, I received an email from commenter “jrkumor” saying:

I am surprised you haven’t covered this past weekend’s episode of “Desperate Housewives” particularly Dana Delany’s character’s dream sequence involving Julie Benz’s character.

And I was surprised that she was surprised, because it’s not like I’m signed up for email alerts from the “Desperate Housewives” fan club. That show is a rock-solid #3 in ABC’s patented “Chicks with More Estrogen than Brains” lineup, right behind “Grey’s Anatomy” and “Private Practice” (the latter of which is my preferred euphemism for masturbation).

ANYWAY. It turns out that Julie Benz’s ex-stripper character showed up, moved in with Dana Delany, stirred up lesbian feelings in Delany by being all sexy and giving her a kiss in this atrocious scene, which sparked the dream that jrkumor emailed about. Basically, Dana Delany’s all, “I made you breakfast,” and Julie’s like, “Oops! I got syrup ALL. OVER. ME.” It makes Marilyn Monroe’s performance of “Happy Birthday” look subtle. And I like it that way. I’d take Julie over Marilyn in a heartbeat. Because, y’know, Marilyn’s dead.

Video and more pictures below.

Read the rest of this entry »