An 87-year-old WWII veteran named Robert Leeder recently suffered a stroke that paralyzed half his body and forced him to move into a nursing home. When his son Andre called DirecTV to cancel Robert’s service, DirecTV charged him an extra $400 for terminating the contract early. Andre emailed DirecTV, explained his father’s failing health, offered to provide medical records as proof, and requested that he be credited the $400 they charged. That’s when DirecTV politely told him to f*ck off:

I’m sorry to hear about your father’s current health condition. I understand your concern with regard to the early cancellation fee…Since he canceled his service or did not maintain the minimum programming requirements, his account was charged with an early cancellation fee of $400. We feel this fee is valid and we are unable to waive it.

The story, thankfully, has a happy ending: Andre’s wife took to Facebook, where a groundswell of rage and enmity towards DirecTV helped the corporation realize, hey, maybe this $400 isn’t totally worth it. You can read the whole story here.

My question is this: who the F are these customer service representatives with blind loyalty to giant, faceless, billion-dollar corporations? How can you hear about someone’s dying father and be all, “Sorry, it’s company policy”? Who are you people? Where are you? Because I’m an angry, petty, small-minded person, and even *I* couldn’t screw over my fellow human beings with so little regard. You animals better hope there’s no afterlife.

It’s more or less official: “Friday Night Lights” will end after its fifth season. However, because of the show’s unique situation of airing on DirecTV before NBC, it will be at least a year before this news affects viewers. The critically praised football drama just concluded its fourth season on DirecTV’s 101 Network, but that same season won’t even debut on NBC until April 30th. Season 5 will wrap production in June and likely have the same fall/spring release schedule.

It’s a move that fans of the show expected — and probably the best thing for the show creatively. “FNL” has done a solid job of avoiding the most common pitfall of a show with characters in high school: dealing with the reality of students graduating and moving on. So even though I’m not a loyal fan of the show, I can respect how well-written is. But not as much as I respect that it’s chock full of hot ass. Seriously, no matter what you’re into, this show has it. Guys get Connie Britton and a slew of young starlets; ladies get sensitive alpha male Coach Taylor, shirtless Tim Riggins, and Smash as the token sexy black dude. That’s some equal-opportunity ogling right there.

The fourth season of “Friday Night Lights” kicks off tonight on DirecTV’s 101 Network, and since today’s news is slower than old people humping, here’s a new extended version of the promo video that was floating around a week or two ago. It shows you characters looking serious, then a tree breaks apart, and the football field goes all 2012 on Coach Taylor and his wife.

“FNL” is definitely an excellent show — well-written, well-acted, nicely paced — but I checked out during Season 2, then Season 3 was on during Friday nights before I had DVR, and now I’m so far behind that I’d rather just watch the whole damn thing on DVD a year or two from now. But if you’re interested, there’s a nice preview of Season 4 at TV Squad, and if you’re not interested, there’s a lovely collection of the women of “FNL” at Co-Ed Magazine. You don’t need to know what happened last season to understand boobs. Like I always say, tits have no back story.

When I first heard the uproar about David Spade being in a new DirecTV ad with his old deceased pal Chris Farley, I shrugged it off. After all, DirecTV had already done a Poltergeist commercial, and that girl died at age 12. Besides, I don’t particularly care about the sensitive things that most people get worked up about. Every good thing gets crapped on, you know?

But then I actually saw the commercial, and I have to hand it to Spade and DirecTV: it really is tacky and tasteless. I understand that Spade’s made a career out of being sarcastic (for which I raise my glass to him), but… I wouldn’t sarcastically dismiss the work of my dead friends. I’m just kind of not a dick like that. But hey, whatever pays the Playboy models you’re nailing, right?

A couple weeks ago, there was word that “Friday Night Lights” was close to a two-year renewal by NBC and DirecTV.  Well, close just closer as Michael Ausiello reports that the deal will soon be made official:

The two season, 26-episode pickup will be announced any day now. Unfortunately, it looks like Tyra will only be appearing in a handful of those 26, as (future CSI: Miami guest star) Adrianne Palicki is not expected back full time. Ditto Minka Kelly, who was recently cast in the CW pilot Body Politic opposite Veronica Mars‘ Jason Dohring.

I can’t be too excited because I don’t watch “FNL,” but I don’t want to dismiss this with a wanking gesture, because I recognize that this show is better than most of what’s out there.  So… I’ll just set aside a few seconds so fans of the show can celebrate.  For those of you who wanna know what all the fuss is about, you can watch the first three seasons at Hulu.  It’s either that or work.  If you even have a job.  And you probably don’t.