A woman is suing the Walt Disney Company because she claims she was sexually harassed during a recent taping of the Disney Channel show “Good Luck Charlie.” More like “Good Time Charlie,” AMIRITE? But seriously, this is pretty crappy if the allegations prove true.

The woman behind the suit is Kellie Rodriguez…who claims she took her kids, her sister-in-law and 3 nieces to a taping in L.A. on December 22, 2011…when she noticed she was being checked out by the comedian in charge of entertaining the audience, Ron Pearson.

Ron Pearson was once on “George Lopez.” GUILTY. And “Mama’s Family.” INNOCENT.

Kellie was later chosen to participate in an audience competition, in which the contestants would perform a “silly dance” to the Village People’s “YMCA,” and the winner would get a prize…Kellie claims she began to dance when “all of a sudden and without warning, Pearson started spanking [her] buttocks with his hands.” In the suit, Kellie continues, “The unwarranted and unconsented spanking was RELENTLESS and did not cease until [Kellie] physically turned around to stop it.”

The worst part, according to TMZ, Rodriguez didn’t even win the dance contest. After the competition (now I want to know who won…), Pearson asked for a kiss on the cheek, and for some reason, Rodriguez obliged. While she went in for the smooch, Pearson turned his head and kissed her on the mouth. I have no idea whether she’s telling the truth, but considering she’s going after the network that gave us “Cory in the House” and the guy who was nominated for “Corporate Comedian of the Year,” I say take ‘em for all they’re worth, Kellie.

Artist’s rendering of the event:

The Disney Channel is under fire a joke about eating disorders that was made on “Shake It Up,” one of the channel’s many original programs aimed at kids. The most vocal criticism came from Demi Lovato, a former Disney Channel star who has famously struggled with her own emotional and psychological issues. From CBS:

The singer-actress, 19, took to her Twitter account to express her anger after one of the show’s characters quipped, “I could just eat you up, well, if I ate.”

“What are we promoting here? #notfunnyATALL,” Lovato tweeted on Friday. “I find it really funny how a company can lose one of their actress’ from the pressures of an EATING DISORDER and yet still make [a] joke about that very disease.”

“And is it just me or are the actress’ getting THINNER AND THINNER…. I miss the days of RAVEN, and LIZZIE MCGUIRE,” she added, referring to actresses Raven-Symone and Hilary Duff.

Lovato, the former star of the Disney Channel’s “Sonny with a Chance,” continued, “Dear Disney Channel, EATING DISORDERS ARE NOT SOMETHING TO JOKE ABOUT.”

The Disney Channel’s PR account then tweeted Lovato to apologize and announce that it would be pulling the episode in question from their rotation, saying “It’s NEVER our intention to make light of eating disorders!” Let me be clear about something here: good for you, Demi Lovato. It certainly wasn’t the worst or most offensive joke I’ve ever heard, but it was definitely out of place on a show aimed at young kids. And I’m especially glad someone in their peer group stepped up on this issue, rather than some paternalistic group playing the “Won’t somebody please think of the children?!” card. I think we can all agree that a 19-year-old taking a stand on social media and getting a major international media corporation to admit error and change its course is, if nothing else, pretty damn Raven.

Wipe away the nostalgia, and you’ll see that the early 1980s were an awful time. The scourge of crack cocaine was turning America’s inner cities into war zones, the AIDS epidemic was in full swing, and the threat of nuclear annihilation loomed large. But of all the horrifying things to come out of that miserable decade, the Disney Channel is by far the most troubling.

In theory, a channel devoted to the legacy of Walt Disney seems harmless enough. But in practice, aside from the occasional airing of “Duck Presents” (a.k.a. “Quake Attack”), the Disney Channel is home to some of the most nauseating programs in television history, and has given birth to some of the most vile celebrities on the planet. Come with me as we explore Walt Disney’s greatest shame, the Disney Channel.

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Today’s Forgotten Classic is a 1999 Disney Channel original movie called The Thirteenth Year. The still here shows Dave Coulier with a vuvuzela, which is either an incredible anachronism — vuvuzelas weren’t mass-produced until 2001 — or some very good Photoshopping, as evidenced by the reflection of the horn on the car door.

The Thirteenth Year also features an appearance by an eight- or nine-year-old Kristen Stewart, who captivates in her one scene as Girl in Fountain Line. You can really believe she’s waiting in line to drink from a water fountain. Dynamite contribution.

Wait, did I not mention the plot? Oh baby, the plot’s the best part! Yes, EVEN BETTER THAN DAVE COULIER WITH A VUVUZELA.

A boy, adopted by a loving family after finding him caught in a fisherman’s net as a baby, grows up to realize the true reason of his talent as a star junior high competitive swimmer: he is actually a male mermaid, or a “mer-man”. Faced with a tough decision to pursue his true lineage or stay with his friends on land, he realizes that his definition of “family” might not be as traditional as he thought. [Wikipedia]

Ooohh, sounds crappy and gay! Let’s watch the trailer!

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The Kids Choice Awards were held last night, and aside from sugary drinks and nose-picking the big winners were I don’t give a rat’s ass. But Disney probably cares, because Nickelodeon shafted some of its damn wiener kid stars.

The annual Kids’ Choice Awards show on Nickelodeon, an ostensible celebration of the most popular children’s programming on television, has turned into a sandbox spat between two media giants vying for supremacy in the world of kids’ TV…

Nickelodeon this week informed programming rival Disney Channel that only a handful of its biggest stars would be permitted to walk the ceremonial orange carpet, pose for photos and grant interviews during “Nickelodeon’s 23rd Annual Kids’ Choice Awards” on Saturday at UCLA’s Pauley Pavilion. Although individual nominees such as Selena Gomez and the Jonas Brothers can still participate, others have been elbowed out of the spotlight. [LA Times]

I can’t possibly pretend to care about children’s programming without attacking some effeminate fruitcake with clippers or writing something illegal about a girl who isn’t 18, so let’s change subjects. Hey look, it’s Katy Perry. She’s performing some kind of experiment to see if girls with big boobs in short, low-cut dresses and lots of eye makeup turn me on. Say what you will about Miss Perry’s music, but she’s one hell of a scientist.