Dollhouse (Fox) — Series finale. Don’t worry, Joss Whedon will go on to make some other crappy show with a mediocre but hot lead actress that nerds will love and no one else will watch.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (Cartoon Network) — Ahhhh, something to take the sting off the end of “Dollhouse” for grown men who own sci-fi figurines.

Caprica (Syfy) — Holy crap. Literally EVERY genre show is on Friday night. And look at this: “Smallville” is on, too. TV executives know exactly who can’t get dates.

The Shark Tank (ABC) — Features no actual sharks. Don’t bother.

Kitchen Nightmares (Fox) — You know what show with Gordon Ramsay I’d watch? One where he has to serve as the cook for “Bad Girls Club.” Those bitches would destroy him.

Spartacus (Starz) — Hey, I want to like this show. I really do. Gratuitous sex and nudity should be rewarded whenever possible (which is why I tip hookers). But the clip from tonight’s episode that I’ve embedded below has to be one of the stupidest, gayest fight scenes I’ve ever seen.

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One month ago, I set the over-under on episodes of Kelsey Grammer’s “Hank” that would air at 5.5. Collect your winnings if you took the under, because ABC has canned it after five episodes (and one Great Pumpkin preemption).

The show is filming episode 10 and will stop production after wrapping  that episode. ABC… has no immediate plans to run the remaining five segments. [The Live Feed]

In slightly higher quality cancellation, Fox has axed Joss Whedon’s “Dollhouse,” which had low ratings but a small and nerdy fan base. Unlike “Hank,” Fox will air the second season’s remaining episodes. Whedon and the nerdy fan base are sad. Whedon wrote:

I’m off to pursue internet ventures/binge drinking. Possibly that relaxation thing I’ve read so much about.

Gosh, when he puts it that way, I don’t even feel bad for him. I kind of wish I were rich and fired.

Dollhouse (Fox) — Season 2 premiere. Hooray, another season from another Joss Whedon show I’ll never devote a full hour to. I do appreciate his eye for talent, however.

Brothers (Fox) — Series premiere. WOOOOOOOFFFFF. This is the living, breathing turd featuring former NFL defensive end Michael Strahan. Get ready for jokes about the space between his teeth.

Tool Academy 2 (VH1) — The tools go to work on a beet farm. You know, I didn’t think it could happen, but I suddenly kind of miss “The White Rapper Show.”

Ghost Whisperer/Medium (CBS) — Part of CBS’s “Women who used to be really hot, then put on some weight, and now we try to shoot from the chest up” Friday lineup.

Numb3rs (CBS) — 1 h8 wh0ever c4m3 up w1th th3 n4m3 4 th15 5h0w.

Psych (USA) — Kenan Thompson and Jaleel White guest star. Please, do NOT watch this show if you’ve recently gone off antidepressants. You WILL kill yourself.

Law & Order (NBC) — Season 20 premiere. Huh. I didn’t realize you could watch this NOT in syndication. This show will survive the nuclear holocaust — “the only show by, for, and about cockroaches!”

That’s all for this week. I’ll be back with a post or two tomorrow and/or Sunday. And don’t forget the new season of SNL begins this weekend. Didja hear? It’s gonna be hosted by Megan Fox Megan Fox Megan Fox Megan Fox Megan Fox Megan Fox!

Dammit, are you serious or not? Jemaine Clement from “Flight of the Conchords” said that there will be three FotC songs on the new Rock Band game. He claims to be serious, but I trust improv actors about as much as I trust clowns and carnies. [Kotaku]

Eliza Dushku is a good actress. In this photo spread, Dushku shows why Joss Whedon keeps casting her in his series. [Complex]

Japan. Of course it’s Japan. In semi-related-to-Dushku news, there’s real-life “Dollhouse” in Japan that rents out people who pretend to be a caring uncle or a lifelong friend at your wedding. [SciFi Wire]

Schadenfreude of the Day. You may have heard from other news sources that Kate Gosselin shot a pilot for a TV talk show, because I refused to cover it. Well, apparently she broke down crying in the middle of it, because she misses her kids and “now that she’s to be divorced, she has to work to support them.” [Page Six]

Guhhhhhhhhhh. The good news is that Jay Leno’s ratings have gone down considerably. The bad news is that even if he tanks with a last-place 1.5 rating, the show could still generate $300 million a year for NBC. [THR]

Recalling the good old days of attractive sky waitresses. The CW is developing a show tentatively called “Fly Girls,” about five virgin flights attendants in search of “good times, great parties, adventure and love.” Oh wait, that’s Virgin flight attendants, as in Virgin America. I suppose that’s better, actually. Hooray for sluts! [The Wrap]

Season 2 of Joss Whedon’s “Dollhouse” kicks off this Friday on Fox, and here are a couple trailers for you lonely folks who’ve made weekend plans with Eliza Dushku. Above is a more plot-oriented explanation of what to expect, while the one below from The Live Feed is more about sex and violence. So if you only have time to watch one of them, you know which one I’d suggest. I’m not a moron, merely a simpleton by choice.

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