Due to my busy schedule of watching porn and scrolling through Tumblr, I’ve never watched VH1′s “Mob Wives.” However, this is Funny or Die video starring Sophia Bush and Drea de Matteo is pretty much how I envision every episode: dinner party, fight, dinner party, fight, dinner party, murder.

Related: it’s long past time for Sophia Bush to get the hell off of “One Tree Hill” and start acting in things that don’t suck. That woman is EXQUISITE. Here she is talking about ex-husband Chad Michael Murray’s penis:

Drea de Matteo’s gonna be on “Desperate Housewives” next season as the replacement for Nicolette Sheridan.  From EW’s Michael Ausiello:

Emmy-winning Sopranos heroine Drea de Matteo is joining the cast as Wisteria Lane’s newest vixenish housewife, sources confirm to me exclusively.

Sources confirm to me exclusively that “vixenish” is the stupidest and most unnecessary word I’ll read all day.

De Matteo, who will be a series regular, will play the matriarch of a new Italian family. Casting is underway for her landscape designer husband and their tightly wound son.

This is a step in the right direction.  Now they only need to replace the other four lead actresses with hot cool chicks (I’m thinking Diane Lane, Marisa Tomei, Maria Bello, and your mom), hire some new writers, and move it to HBO from ABC.  Basically, this could be a pretty good show if all the characters were different and it was told in a completely different way, with plenty of nudity and swearing.