modern-family-banksAw, don’t waste ‘em on the fruits!

Modern Family (ABC) — In his first appearance on primetime TV (save a voice role on “The Simpsons”), Edward Norton guest stars as the bassist for Spandau Ballet. I saw a preview clip, and let me just say: beware of the mullet. Also appearing tonight: Elizabeth Banks (pictured) as Mitchell and Cameron’s wild girlfriend. RAWR!  More pictures of Banks in tonight’s episode here.

South Park (Comedy Central) — Season 13 finale. Whoa, the season’s over already? I feel like it just started.

Glee (Fox) — In tonight’s episode, Jane Lynch is hilarious, some people in relationships tell unrealistic lies, and there’s more gay stuff than in a West Village locker room.

America’s Next Top Model (CW) — Season finale. I hope the short girl that wins this season invests her prize money, because it’ll be the last she ever works as a runway model.

Extreme Obesity: A Big Medicine Special (Discovery Health) — People who have undergone gastric bypass surgery discuss consequences like eating disorders and drug addiction. Also an option: regular exercise starting at a young age.

Top Chef (Bravo) — It’s been apparent since about the third week that the fat dude with the beard is gonna win, and the two brothers will get second and third — then murder each other.

Note: For anyone who was disappointed by the lack of “Sons of Anarchy” discussion today, I apologize. I agree: it was a freaking amazing episode. To scratch your SAMCRO itch, check out Alan Sepinwall’s recap. Also, for no other reason than it made me laugh, I present you with Cats 4 Gold.