Tonight, Fox will air the highly somewhat anticipated episode of “Bones” that guest stars Zooey Deschanel as Emily Deschanel’s second cousin. I’ve never managed to actually sit through an entire episode of “Bones,” but I still enjoyed the video below, which shows Emily and Zooey talking about the episode while the rest of the cast looking at them sideways and says “Maaaaaaaaaake ouuuuuuuuuuuuut” under their breath. I mean, probably. I’m sure the mics just didn’t pick it up.

And in the Great Deschanel Debate that will eventually lead to World War III, the video is definitely a battle won decisively by Team Emily. She’s absolutely glowing here, while Zooey looks merely cute. Pfffft, cute don’t play in the big leagues, honey. Cute don’t pay the bills. Well, unless you run the Daily Puppy. Then cute probably pays the bills.

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Bones (Fox) — I’ve tried watching this show and it bores the hell out of me. However, I do enjoy pictures of Emily Deschanel, and sexy costumes get you top billing at Warming Glow. So there you go.

Parks and Recreation (NBC) — Megan Mulally guest stars in tonight’s episode. It’s good to see the show grow into itself after a disappointing first season. Now there’s not a single weak show in NBC’s Thursday lineup — and I can’t think of another time when that wasn’t the case. Usually there’s at least one equivalent of “My Name Is Earl.”

The League (FX) — Word on the street is that the second episode is better than the first, even if Nancyboy McBitchypants doesn’t like it.

Grey’s Anatomy (ABC) — From Yahoo: “Arizona prepares for the surgery of a lifetime as a $25-million donation to the hospital and a 10-year-old boy’s life depend on the outcome.” I’m assuming Arizona is a character’s name on the show and not the state, which is good, because I hadn’t gotten any new reasons to hate this show for a while.

The Real Housewives of Orange County (Bravo) — Season premiere. Here’s what I wrote two weeks ago about the season finale of the Atlanta installment: “I’d express some kind of relief that this is over, but the O.C. version will probably just start up again next week.” And the only reason I was off by a week is because I didn’t take into account the reunion episode. You’re so predictable, Bravo.

Vampire Diaries (CW) — Too often, I dismiss this show as fluff for teenagers, and that’s not fair. It’s also fluff for shallow young women.

The Emily-versus-Zooey Deschanel civil war will have a chance to rage on in the Warming Glow comments once again, as E! news has reported that the younger, indie-er actress will guest star with her wonderfully-bosomed big sister on the Fox hit.

“I do know that Emily’s sister is going to be on the next episode, which is exciting,” [David Boreanaz said]. “I think she’s going to play Emily’s cousin. It’s a whole relationship thing that’s going on now with us and it continues to grow and grow and get crazy.”

Frankly, this whole battle over which Deschanel sister is hotter is tearing our comments section apart. Let’s allow cooler heads to prevail and settle this once and for all: I would make out with either Deschanel sister. And if it helps heal these wounds, I’d even do it with both at the same time. Um, so if any Fox representatives are reading this, please pass that along to the Deschanels and have them get back to me, because… ya know… *gunfingaz*

[suicideblonde]

Bones (Fox) — Yesterday there was civil war in the comments as people threw down over which Deschanel sister was hotter. I used to be a die-hard Zooey man, but I think learning about her diet when she was a guest judge on “Top Chef Masters” sent me over to the Emily side. Zooey’s a vegan, but she can’t eat soy or gluten — rabbits have more varied diets. So yeah, I think Emily’s my girl. I’m still not watching “Bones,” though.

L.A. Ink (TLC) — Season finale. Those of you who enjoy looking at Kat von D may also enjoy the delightful Tumblr blog Tits & Tatts (NSFW).

Private Practice (ABC) — Season premiere. What’s worse than CBS spinning off its cookie-cutter crime procedurals? ABC spinning off its detestable weekly medical chick flick.

Flash Forward (ABC) — So what do you think? Are you hooked? I haven’t decided whether or not I’m going to commit to this show. Unlike most people who write about TV, I try to keep limits on how many shows I watch.

Parks and Recreation (NBC) — It’s the second week with Louis C.K. as a guest star. I forgot he was on last week and didn’t watch. Dammit.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX) — Every week during “Sunny” commercials, they keep showing great spots for the fantasy football sitcom “The League” (previously written about here), then I search YouTube and the FX website for some hint of it and I get nothing. It debuts in four weeks — c’mon FX, I want to give  you free advertising. Gimme something to work with here.

Here is a picture of Alyson Hannigan touching Emily Deschanel’s breast during a slumber party as Minka Kelly watches. That’s not just the beginning to my next fan fiction story, it’s also a real thing that happens during a Funny or Die video (watch below). The skit also includes Jaime King and sexy “American Idol” contestant turned actress Katharine McPhee and promotes breast exams as part of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. By posting this video, I’m doing my own little small part to protect our nation’s greatest resource. No, no, I’m not a hero. Just a man with a blog who loves tits.

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