The MTV Movie Awards were last night, and I did my very best to watch the shiny two-hour commercial for summer films. I have no idea how people with fully-formed brains sit through that thing, because eventually I decided that the commercials during the NBA Finals were less irritating than a horde of teenagers shrieking at the slightest mention of Twilight. And I HATE commercials.

Anyway, here are the highlights that I caught/read about elsewhere:

• Robert Pattinson went off the TelePrompTer while honoring his Water for Elephants costar Reese Witherspoon, resulting in an un-bleeped F-word. Oh no, think of the children or whatever.
• Witherspoon joked about Blake Lively’s nude pictures. You can watch video of that and Pattinson’s slip-up here if you enjoy wasting your life.
• Everyone assumes that Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis are humpin’, so they joked about it and assured us that they aren’t by groping each other.
• Emma Watson’s got a pretty great ass.
• Emma Stone has red hair again. Nice!
• Emma Roberts wasn’t there that I know of, but if she had been I would’ve booed her and demanded more Watson and Stone.
• Justin Bieber has earrings now. He showed up in a bright blue blazer with the sleeves pushed up, thus completing Hollywood’s greatest prank of all time: making teenage girls fall in love with a lesbian from the 1980s.

Ugh. This is such a letdown to write about after the thrilling violence of “Game of Thrones.” What I wouldn’t pay for someone to tear out Bieber’s throat on television.

(banner pic via suicideblonde; inset via the Superficial)

Harry Potter star Emma Watson was on Letterman Wednesday night, and Dave brought up her accidental panty-flash during the monsoon at the U.K. premiere of Harry Potter and Philosopher’s Chamber of Half-Blood Prisoners (see the 7:15 mark in the video below).  She gets charmingly flustered, calls it a “wardrobe malfunction” (which sounds way less annoying in a British accent), and ultimately says, “At least I’m wearing underwear,” which draws applause from the audience.  But not from me.  I usually boo women until they talk off their underwear.  I’m tough but principled.