We hardly knew you, “Detroit 1-8-7.”

TV.com has put together a death montage of all the shows that went to the Great Reduced Price DVD Section In the Sky in 2011. It’s like the In Memoriam section of the Oscars, except instead of sadly saying, “I totally forgot that person died this year,” you gleefully laugh, “HAHA, remember “The Cape”?” #10episodesandnomovie

Of the approximately 100 (!) series included in the tribute, only nine are even watchable: “Big Love,” “The Closer,” “Free Agents,” “Friday Night Lights,” “Men of a Certain Age,” “Smallville,” “Sports Show with Norm Macdonald,” “Traffic Light,” and “United States of Tara.” If you add “Bored to Death” to the list, which only got the ax last week, that means approximately nine/tenths of TV is pure crap. That actually sounds too generous.

BUT, when we look back at 2011 in a couple of years, let’s not remember it as The Year of the Protest or The Year We Got Osama bin Laden; let’s remember it as The Year “Entourage” and “The Oprah Winfrey Show” Finally Went Off the Air or The Year We Said NO to “How to Be a Gentleman” and “H8R.” U-S-A! U-S-A!

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In a story noted legal expert Me is calling “stuffed to the gills with a buttload of LOLs,” a former “Real World” cast member is suing HBO and the creators of “Entourage” for besmirching his good name. In the American system of justice, this is referred to as “the pot calling the kettle a d-bag.” From The Hollywood Reporter:

Reality star John Devenanzio, who says he is popularly known in the entertainment world as “Johnny Bananas,” has gone ahead with threats and sued the producers of the recently completed HBO series, Entourage. The plaintiff is demanding that the network be permanently barred from distributing episodes containing “Johnny Bananas,” which would wipe out the seventh and last season of the show.

This past summer, Devenanzio, who appeared as a cast member on MTV’s The Real World Key West and several other MTV reality shows, had his lawyer fire off a cease-and-desist letter to HBO.

The threats apparently did nothing to scare the network.

So, on Monday, Devenanzio filed a complaint in New York Superior Court against HBO, parent Time Warner, and “Entourage” creator Doug Ellin.

While I support Mr. Bananas’ mission to lock away the final season of “Entourage” in a vault somewhere, his claims seem a little far-fetched. I really only see one way for him to win this lawsuit… that’s right, hire Franklin and Bash. Now just hear me out. This is a case that rests on shaky legal ground and features a reality television star suing the makers of a douchey Hollywood-based television show. The only way this could be more up Franklin and Bash’s alley is if there were a dozen prostitute witnesses and the key piece of evidence was a penis pump. Which, for the record, none of us can rule out at this point. God I miss that show.

In case you missed the “Entourage” series finale, congratulations. The resolution is the same as it was every week: everything worked out great for everyone. (And in case you’re wondering what song played over the final scene, HBO went deep into its pockets to shell out for Led Zeppelin’s “Going to California.”) Here’s how the AV Club summed it up:

• E is back with Sloan.
• Ari is back with his wife about whom I never cared enough to learn her name.
• Vince is with some beautiful and intelligent and SANE woman with a British accent OR SOME ACCENT I DON’T KNOW HOW TO TELL WHAT ACCENTS ARE.
• Drama likes da pusssaaaaaayyy.
• Turtle.
• Lloyd is still working as an agent at the company Ari just quit and gave over to Babs via yelling.
• Billy Walsh appeared long enough for me to be like, “Remember the fake penis?”
• Everyone lied to everyone else, and somehow, this qualifies as resolution.

What this scene from Joe Mande presupposes is, “What if these horrible, selfish, two-dimensional characters died in a plane wreck?” I watched this video knowing full well what would happen, but I happily laughed all the same because — for just the briefest of moments — I imagined a world where we wouldn’t have to deal with the inevitable “Entourage” movie. It was beautiful.

September 11, 2011 will be a day of mourning. Not only will we remember those who lost their lives ten years ago in the attacks on the World Trade Center buildings and those aboard United Airlines flights 77 and 93; we must also come to terms with the fact that there will never be another new episode of “Entourage.”

Here’s what the boys are up to, as of last week’s penultimate episode: Sloan told Eric she’s pregnant with his seed, and that she’s moving to New York and doesn’t want anything from him; Ari is dating a studio executive, but he’s still in love with his ex-wife; Johnny is trying to star in a made-for-TV movie; Turtle is hanging out with A-Rod and becomes a millionaire thanks to Avión; and Vince is in love with Vanity Fair reporter Sophia (Alice Eve), and he asks the guys to make a video compilation of all his old girlfriends telling Sophia how wonderful he is, and presumably lie about how big his dick is.

So really, the message of “Entourage” is: VINCE IS GOD, GOD OF SEX.

That’s an opinion more or less stated in the show’s theme song, “Superhero” by Jane’s Addiction, the only group of people more self-obsessed than Vince & Co. It will be played in the final episode of “Entourage,” just as it has the 95 before it—but what about the all-important final scene, when the gang is inevitably on a hill overlooking Los Angeles? The “Don’t Stop Believin’” scene, as it were. On the next page, I’ve listed five songs that “Entourage” could use (no, thank YOU, Doug Ellin), and please list your choices in the comments section.

9/11/2001=Never Forget, Bro

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Doug Ellin has heard you. Don’t think he hasn’t. The “Entourage” creator knows you critic-y critics out there are critiquing his show critically, and he has a message for all the haters: “Sorry for being awesome at everything.” From TV Guide:

“The critics, all of a sudden, seem to have turned on us and forgotten that we were actually critically acclaimed in the past,” series creator and executive producer Doug Ellin tells TVGuide.com of the criticism for last year’s dark story lines. “Last season, we had our highest ratings ever, so I kind of ignore the critics.”

“The critics’ reaction to the show doesn’t matter at all. Except for that time they said it was great, which was a very important thing that we should never forget.”

Ellin went on to hypothesize as to why the critics have turned on the show recently:

So why the suddenly cold reception from critics? Ellin says that the show’s transformation from a simple buddy comedy to a complicated tale that saw Vince begin using cocaine and landing in rehab, has thrown many for a loop. “Honestly, I’m very willing to be criticized. I love the show. I think it’s as good as it’s ever been,” Ellin says. “I don’t feel there’s been a lot of shows in the history of television that have mixed up tones as much as we have and I think that throws people. I think that shocks them.”

Excellent point. I mean, just think of all the tones they’ve mixed in: things looking bad but then everything working out in the end, things looking really bad but then everything working out in the end, things looking really really bad but then everything working out in the end, things looking really really really bad but then everything working out in the end, etc. The show is like some sort of Dickensian chameleon.

Look, I don’t have the vitriol for this show that many have. I watched it for a couple seasons before throwing in the towel a few years ago. But let’s not pretend it suddenly became a shocking, riveting drama, okay Doug Ellin? You make a very successful show about bros doing shots on private planes with supermodels. More power to you. But don’t try to tell me it’s a good show because lots of people watch it, and don’t try to convince me it’s “The Wire” because one guy did cocaine for a month.

Bro.