Not pictured: Mark Wahlberg speaking to the donkey
Matt Damon was on the season finale of “Entourage” on Sunday night, and you know what that means: YAY, no more “Entourage” for a while! Oh, and also the video clip below, which is awesome for a minute while Damon trashes Vincent Chase over the phone for being retarded and terrible at life and a lousy actor. Unfortunately, the last 30 seconds or so are of Damon backing off and apologizing, which ruins the whole thing. Don’t stop, Damon! Keep going! Tell him that his head is gigantic and his hair is a stupid-looking ‘fro and he has puny girly arms and seriously, a grown man shouldn’t have friends named “Turtle.”
There is a o.o% chance that this video of Matt Damon chewing out “Entourage” star Adrian Grenier is real, but for the sake of my own happiness I’m going to pretend that it isn’t staged. I prefer to believe in a world where a cool dude like Matt Damon can’t tolerate untalented jackasses with hydrocephalus, and the presence of Jeremy Piven’s hairpiece only serve to enrage him more. Because that’s exactly how I would act if I was trying to direct a PSA with the cast of “Entourage.” Except my PSA would be about the benefits of bludgeoning lousy actors with a claw hammer.
[Buzzfeed]
There’s nothing going on and everyone’s already left to go enjoy Labor Day weekend, so screw it: here’s a photo of “Entourage” actor Jeremy Piven at last night’s Eagles-Jets preseason game. Asked for comment, Piven said, “HEE-HAW! HEE-HAW!”
Actually, I don’t even dislike Piven. He ordinarily gets a pass from me because of PCU, but whatever, he’s on “Entourage” and his collar’s popped, so it’s not like I’m out of line here. Plus he’s a Jets fan. Those animals don’t deserve anything resembling human compassion.
(Photo: Getty Images)
Russian model turned “Saul of the Mole Men” actress Irina Voronina has gotten naked in Playboy and Perfect 10, but she says that the most demeaning experience of her career was working with the cast of “Entourage.” She claims she was fired from the show for not accepting the advances of the show’s stars.
“They were very rude and unprofessional and I was fired from the set along with another girl,” Voronina told Tarts. “Technically we were told there wasn’t space for us to be in the shot anymore, but we knew we were fired because we weren’t nice to the actors. They just treated me like a piece of meat without any respect and every conversation would start and end with “what are you doing later?’”
The 31-year-old bikini beauty turned comedy queen said she’s worked on the show several times before but the harassment had built to a point where she simply couldn’t take it anymore…
“If there is a shot where we’re all in the limo and the camera is rolling, it’s us all having fun, they have their hands all over us and then when the cameras stop I expect them to reel back to being normal, but they continued the partying off camera.”
Whoa now, Irina. You’ve got a lot to learn about acting. The “Entourage” guys aren’t grabbing your tits after the director yells “Cut!” for their own enjoyment. That’s method acting. They’re just staying in character. Maybe you should consider taking your craft a little more seriously.
From what I’ve been told, Jamie-Lynn Sigler plays a version of herself who stoops to date fat loser Turtle on “Entourage.” In real life, Jamie-Lynn Sigler stoops to date Jerry Ferrara, who plays fat loser Turtle on “Entourage.”
In this delightful interview, ABC reporter Dan Harris — unaware that Sigler is dating Ferrara — asks if attractive women like Sigler actually date fat losers like Turtle. I think you’ll agree with me when I say that the awkwardness is positively DELICIOUS. It’s gonna be the first chapter in my new book Chicken Soup for the Entourage Hater’s Soul.
[via Hot Clicks]
This is a photo of “Entourage” star Adrian Grenier playing at a concert with his band, The Honey Brothers. I knew he was in a band, but I didn’t realize that he was sophisticated enough to master the recorder, AKA “the clarinet for six-year-olds.” The person who had the misfortune of attending this concert writes:
He is 100% sincere about wanting to build a music career. Yes, yes, that is a recorder. [...]
While setting up his subpar drum kit, he was all “I’m annoyed that we’re back to being a real band instead of a fantasy band, like they treated us on our Australia tour. We never had to carry our own stuff there.”
I hear a lot about how “Entourage” is compelling because it’s an accurate depiction of how Hollywood works. So I’d like to suggest an “Entourage” story line in which a TV actor with questionable talent insists on being taken seriously in his musical side project. Then he gets sodomized with a recorder. I don’t know, maybe there needs to be some more exposition in there. I’m just brainstorming. But feel free to use that plot, “Entourage” writers. Free of charge.
