Don't do what Donny Don't does.

Most books written about TV are terrible. The online shelves of Amazon are full of unauthorized guides that sound like they’re written by Fan Forum users; ghostwritten “auto”biographies supposedly penned by people whose Wikipedia pages I can barely get through (let alone 365 pages of Sharon Osbourne Extreme); and Heroes and Philosophy, and House and Philosophy, and Seinfeld and Philosophy, and so on. It’s plainly obvious that people with philosophy degrees spend even more time watching television than they do making me lattes.

But there ARE good books about television — some of which we’ve even read! Here are ten that are worth your time, with helpful summaries in case you just want to have them on your shelf and brag about reading them.

Read the rest of this entry »

Tomorrow is September 2nd, 2010. Or 9/2/10. Or, if you like extraneous zeros, 9/02/10. And that collection of numbers is enough for people to stick their heads up their asses to get a good, deep whiff of ’90s nostalgia by celebrating “90210 Day.” (Wake me up when it’s 3/14/15. I love a good Pi Day!)

Foremost among the offenders is ESPN columnist Bill Simmons, who is taking a break from making references to Teen Wolf and Karate Kid in order to devote an entire podcast to “90210″ with fantasy sports “expert” and world-class pig Matthew Berry. Simmons tweeted:

Preparing for the 9-02-10 podcast with Berry. You know what’s shocking? None of David Silver’s horrendous music is online except “Precious.”

Ugh. I understand that tons of people out there love Simmons, but this really, really, really isn’t necessary. You know, just because you were in college when the show was on doesn’t make it interesting. The ’90s blew, and there’s nothing to say about “90210″ that hasn’t already been said. Let me save you an hour of your time: Gabrielle Carteris was way too old to be a high school student. Ian Ziering married a Playboy model. Luke Perry was in Buffy the Vampire Slayer with Paul Reubens. Tori Spelling is and always has been ugly. Color Me Badd sang at the Peach Pit. Ryan Seacrest played Ryan Seacrest before he was Ryan Seacrest. Blah blah blah, sideburns, Kelly got raped.

ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews rose to greater (and well-deserved) fame with a an impressive run on “Dancing with the Stars” — a remarkable return to the public eye after a stalker released nude video of her taken from peephole videos in different hotels. As part of her new contract with the Disney corporation, Andrews will begin additional reports for “Good Morning America” starting tomorrow:

In her first report as a contributor to “Good Morning America,” Erin Andrews sits down with three women who were the victims of stalking and are speaking out in order to raise awareness about the issue. Andrews, who very publicly experienced a similar situation herself last year, chronicles the women’s fight and the push for tougher anti-stalking laws. Her first report will air on “Good Morning America” on Thursday. [via]

I don’t know, this doesn’t seem like a good idea to me. The last woman from ESPN to work for “Good Morning America” was Robin Roberts, and she got breast cancer. Twelve years later. Sure, MAYBE it’s just a coincidence, but do you have proof that it isn’t? I didn’t think so. So there you have it: “GMA” causes breast cancer. Get out while you still can, Erin!

As part of her new contract with ESPN/ABC, the world’s most lovely and delicate sideline reporter Erin Andrews will host the first hour of ESPN’s “College Gameday” at 9 AM ET on ESPNU. She will also keep up her high profile by contributing pieces to ABC’s “Good Morning America.”  Which pieces she will be contributing have not been confirmed.

Andrews is most famous for being a celebrity contestant on the tenth season of “Dancing with the Stars” and for being filmed against her will through a modified door peephole in a Nashville hotel room. In 2007 and 2008, she was voted “America’s Sexiest Sportscaster” by Playboy magazine.  I’m sorry, ignore that entire paragraph.  Andrew is famous for reporting about sports.

In a related story, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart gave Olivia Munn a job because she is “funny.”

In case you forgot during the eight microseconds you spent shifting your eyes’ gaze from the above headline to this sentence, I would like to remind you that LeBron James. That’s right, folks, it’s a Jon post! [hits baseball with tennis racquet, rides skateboard into next paragraph]

Tonight at 9:00 Eastern, professional basketball enthusiast LeBron James will finally announce which team he will sign with (hint: the Knicks). He will do so on ESPN, during an hour-long special he insisted upon, while being interviewed by a guy he has personally selected to interview him. ESPN has dedicated the preceding three-hour programming block to a special, extra-long SportsCenter, which means that ESPN viewers will be in for four hours of LeBron-centric programming.

How will ESPN fill these hours of television? Some of the most likely possibilities are after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »