If you ever wondered what a cake being blown to kingdom come looks like, there’s your answer.  Last night on “Cake Boss,” the contestants were tasked with creating a cake for a special effects company.  The two completed cakes were then wired with explosives, and the loser was blown to delicious smithereens.  BUT WAIT.  It turns out the Cake Boss himself wasn’t even that pleased with the winning cake.  So, after watching the contestants breathe a sigh of relief and begin celebrating, he blew up their cake, too.  Such is your fate when you displease the boss of all cakes.  Although if you ask me, sounds like someone’s gone a little mad with power.  Making your subjects compete in a battle to the death, then also killing the winner for your own amusement?  Sounds like the Cake Boss is morphing into Cakeligulia.  (*ducks tomatoes thrown by crowd*)

Even though I’m a little sad to see something potentially delicious be wasted, I’m firmly behind gratuitous explosions.  I really hope this elimination style starts a trend.  I might even start watching reality TV if they blew things up more.  Especially if those “things” were Spencer Pratt and his stupid face.

Cake explosion after the jump.  Be sure to stick around for the quote around the 0:50 mark.  That guy is delightful.

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Live television is one of the Internet’s most precious resources, because human error so often works its way into the spotlight. In this video, the station cuts away from “Good Morning America” to provide live coverage of a bridge implosion scheduled for 7:00 a.m. But it doesn’t implode, so they banter while the camera stays fixed on the bridge. Then they kill some more time, then some more, and then a little more before finally cutting away to the weatherman and then AW DAMMIT!

It really is amazing the way they manage to screw it up. I guess the show’s producers can put “picture-in-picture technology” on their Christmas wish list.

[Today's Big Thing]

Holy crap.  The lone factory that made Slim Jims blew up last month (a natural gas explosion that killed three), and parent company ConAgra won’t be able to produce new inventory until the fall.  You know what that means?  SLIM JIM SHORTAGE EVERYONE PANIC!!!!

“People who like [Slim Jim], when they find out that there’s a shortage, are going to grab onto them, I’m certain of it,” said Harry Balzer [hee hee! -Ed.], a food industry analyst with NPD Group. “Maybe [Ben] Bernanke should step in with some TARP money because people can’t live without their Slim Jims.” [NY Post via BWE]

That’s true, according to food industry consultant Jim Degan. “[Slim Jims] loyalty is very high,” Degan said. “If you eat Slim Jims, you aren’t going to find brand B or C to be an acceptable substitute.”

Oh yeah.  Good luck trying to replace Slim Jims.  People who eat Slim Jims have some of the most refined palates in the world.  You just can’t find a substitute for spiced artificial beef.  Those people even eat Slim Jims with their pinkies extended.  They think they’re so much better than us!

(Obviously, this isn’t TV-related outside of the Randy “Macho Man” Savage commercials, so I included the best one here.  If you don’t laugh at the line “Art thou BORED?!?!” then I’m not sure we can be friends.) Read the rest of this entry »