History was made last night, and I hope you weren’t watching. Yesterday, at exactly 8:30 p.m. EST, ABC premiered “Work It,” arguably the most offensive show of all-time. It’s about two dudes who dress up like ladies because women be stealing all our jobs. IT’S A MANCESSION, PEOPLE. The show’s homophobic, sexist, a little racist, and definitely awful. Like, “Homeboys in Outer Space”-level awful.

“Work It” joins a unique group of shows that can only be defined as “offensive,” both critically and culturally. I’m not talking about series like “South Park” and “All In the Family,” which many totally clueless writers have mislabeled as “the most offensive shows ever”; I’m referring to shows so lacking in decency and taste, they make the “Partial Terms of Endearment” episode of “Family Guy” seem like “The Joy of Painting” by comparison.

Here we go.

“Heil Honey, I’m Home!” is about Eva Braun and Mr. Hitler, or as his friends call him, Adolph, living next door to —and failing to get along with— the Goldensteins, Arny and Rosa. Oy vey! The U.K. originated “Heil” was presented as a “found footage” series, with an episode-opening crawl explaining that in the 1950s, the show was lost and only recently unearthed. This was, of course, a plot device, used only to get the satirical “Leave It to Beaver” WITH NAZIS show on the air — and it did, for a single episode. Honestly, it’s not very funny, not because it’s overly offensive, but because it feels like a five-minute sketch – about Hitler waiting for Neville Chamberlin to drop by – dragged out to 30 minutes. It’s the “SNL” of Hitler-starring sitcoms.

Knowing the line between acceptable and inappropriate is tricky. “Hogan’s Heroes” was set in a German POW camp during World War II, yet it ran for six seasons and 168 episodes. But someone at UPN should have just said NO to “The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer,” not only because of its terrible name (the “P” isn’t silent), but also because it was about the HILARITY that is Civil War-era racism. Chi McBride plays Pfeiffer, who serves (slaves) as Abraham Lincoln’s butler, and though he’s usually treated as an equal by the president (who’s portrayed as a closeted homosexual — a lot of sausage gags), nearly every joke went over the aforementioned line, from unfunny yet acceptable, to simply offensive:

In the opening scene of the pilot, Kilbourne, Lincoln’s chief of staff in the program, walks into the kitchen to find Pfeiffer sitting with his legs stretched out among the breakfast dishes. “The slaves haven’t been emancipated yet,” Kilbourne barks. “Get your feet off the table, Pfeiffer.”

In the original opening sequence, two British horsemen munch on snacks while watching a double hanging in what is identified onscreen as “Merry Olde England.” The racial identity of the hanged men is concealed by bags tied over their heads. Chuckling at the sight, one of the horsemen asks, “Why is it that warm chestnuts never taste so good as when you’re watching a man take his last gasp and then urinating it back?” In the next scene, according to people who observed that first tape, a black British nobleman named Pfeiffer finds himself kidnapped by his enemies and thrown into the bottom of a slave ship crossing the Atlantic to America. (Metro Active)

My favorite fun facts about “The Morton Downey, Jr. Show,” hosted by ZIP IT himself:

-He was sued for $40 million after bringing a stripper onto the show and calling her a “slut,” a “pig,” a “hooker,” and a “tramp,” claiming that she had venereal diseases, and banging his pelvis against hers.
-At one point, he was arraigned on criminal charges for allegedly attacking a gay guest on his show, in a never-aired segment

To put things into perspective, Downey was so offensive that when he was fired from his pre-talk show radio program (for telling a ethnic joke aimed at an Asian city council member), he was replaced by Rush Limbaugh, who felt tame by comparison. He was Springer before Springer, but he meant what he said.

When I did a Google Search for “Most Offensive TV Show,” one of the first websites that came up in the search was for Stormfront, a message board for the white nationalist community. They’re a charming bunch. After reducing TV down to a “bunch of kikes, coons, perverts, and race mixers,” the commenters included the following shows as being particularly offensive:

Star Trek (and all the spin-offs; Voyager and DS9 were the worst, TOS and Enterprise weren’t as bad); nothing beats Star Trek. I intend on writing an essay or two about this venomous series one day.

I think Sesame Street could be added to the list. It was created for urban, non-white children.

King of the Hill- The portrayal of making a redneck uptight and always having it out with his Laotian neighbor Khan. The show makes Khan look intelligent and Hank Hill look like a mean-spiritedjerk.

Don’t forget The Boondocks! That cartoon has got to be THE most blatantly anti-White show with the most obnoxious characters ever aired. I believe it even edges out anything that jew, Norman Lear ever put out.

“I tried to be honest with all of you, not just some of you. Yes, I am from Mexico, I am a model, and I’m 21. But Tom, I really love spending time with you and kissing you. You see, I love men, and I love being a woman…But you see, Tom…I am not a woman. I was born as a man.”

That was the speech delivered by Miriam, the pre-op transsexual seen above, who was the object of affection for six male contestants on the 2003 U.K. reality show “There’s Something About Miriam.” For the three weeks and five episodes prior to her announcement, when the guys met and got to “know” Miriam, lifeguard Tom & Co. weren’t aware of her self-identification. When they did find out, they got pissed; they sued for “defamation, personal injury, and conspiracy to commit sexual assault (apparently because several of them had kissed and hugged Miriam),” according to Reality TV World, and won an undisclosed sum of money.

The truly offensive part, however, came after Miriam was finished speaking, when the contestants who didn’t win began laughing at Tom because BRAH, YOU’RE TOTALLY GAYYY NOW. Their lawsuit essentially claimed that their lives were ruined because everyone thinks they’re homosexuals now, what with all the kissing and hugging of a transgender person; what they didn’t mention were the scenes of the show featuring the guys literally whipping their di*ks out to see who had the biggest penis. NO HOMO. The moral of the terrible show: if a transgender person wants to “come out,” they should expect to be laughed at and for their friends to feel deceived. “There’s Something About Miriam” was aired in the U.S. on Fox Reality Channel.

Most shows were new last week, so we’ve got plenty of GIF fodder for this week’s post, including: crying judges, incest, Louis C.K. miming sex with an animal, Zooey dancing in her underwear, and Fat Mac’s real name. Plus, for the last time for a few months, “Community.” (The only GIF I wanted to locate but couldn’t was of Beavis getting his ass stuck in copy machine – if you know where to find it, include a link in the comments section.) Please remember to email me any favorites you see throughout the week at Joshua.Kurp@gmail.com.

This isn’t going to end well. (Via)

Thank you to Chris for sending this in, which shows two hapless law-chasers who inexplicably can never hit their targets. I should have included Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy into my Worst Tropes list.

I bet he hates corgis, too. (Via)

Zooey > Everything. (Via)

If this happened on “Modern Family,” Sofia would have been instructed to say it as, “EES SO FLUFFFFEEE.” (Via)

Old TV Show GIF of the Week (Via)

Max is awesome. (Via)

Taken from the new special, “Louis C.K.: Live at the Beacon Theater.” (It’s not technically from TV, but we’ll make an exception for C.K.) Can you guess which animal he’s humping? (Via)

It’s funny because she’s crying. (Via) (Via)

Better than Homer Jay Simpson. (Via)

MISS YOU. (Via) (Via)

Bonus “Simpsons” GIF of the Week. (Via)

Imagine them eating in slow-motion, and you've got about three selections from this list.

Did people in the 1960s, when TV was a relatively new source of entertainment, predict that at the end of the “Mr. McBeevee” episode of “The Andy Griffith Show,” the previously-unseen-by-everyone-but-Opie titular character was going to appear? Like we would now. You see, Mr. B is a “Not So Imaginary Friend,” and because of Opie stating that he has 12 hands…The point I’m trying to make is: recognizing tropes have made us more cynical about TV, and that’s why I love them.

One of the reasons why shows like “Community” and “South Park” are so good is because they rarely go the easy route and do something that’s been seen a million times before. Their success comes from the way they subvert tropes, unlike, say, “Two and a Half Men” or “Family Guy,” both of which have been doing the same exact stories with the same exact jokes that “The Honeymooners” did in 1955. Just not as well.

On the following pages are 10 of my least-favorite TV tropes. If ever you’ve groaned at a character screaming in horror when they realize who their bedmate is, or turned the channel when someone thought they were high or drunk when they were actually just given a placebo, this list is for you. (Note: this is not the 10 WORST – it’s 10 that really bug me, even if some of my favorite shows use them. Please list your least favorites.)

#10. Ugly Guy, Hot Wife

TV Tropes Excerpt: “A very common trope, particularly in animation and sitcoms, is for a woman to be far more attractive than her significant other. This is largely a result of Hollywood-style casting for women’s roles in which average-looking women are virtually unknown, leaving a large amount of hotties needing work.”

Notable Examples: Peter and Louis Griffin on “Family Guy,” Kevin James and Leah Remini on “The King of Queens,” Homer and Marge Simpson on “The Simpsons,” Harry Goldenblatt‎ and Charlotte Yorke on “Sex and the City” (This one’s so overused that I’ve put it down at #10, because it’d be too obvious of a #1 choice, no matter how obnoxious the idea of James Belushi schtupping Courtney Thorne-Smith is.)

#9. We Want Our Jerk Back

TV Tropes Excerpt: “A common Sitcom plot where the total Jerk Ass learns his lesson, turns sweet and benevolent — and becomes absolutely intolerable, making the other characters yearn for the original personality. Eventually the character in question will revert to normal, and the reaction will either be relief, or realization that he really is worse in his obnoxious form.”

Notable Examples: Bender from “Futurama,” Peter Griffin from “Family Guy,” Roy from “Wings,” Reese from “Malcolm in the Middle,” Toby from “The West Wing,” Fun Bobby from “Friends” (This one’s frustrating because you know the character who goes from jerk-to-friendly will be back to acting like an asshole by the end of the episode. It’s a 22-minute/44-minute plot stall.)

#8. Annoying Laugh

TV Tropes Excerpt: “In some cases, the Annoying Laugh is used in place of actually fleshing out a character, since the type of annoying laugh can lead the audience to assuming the character basically is just as annoying as his or her laugh happens to be.”

Notable Examples: Janice from “Friends”, Kitty from “That ’70s Show,” Vince Masuka from “Dexter,” Urkel

#7. Spicy Latina

TV Tropes Excerpt: “This character is very hot-blooded and confrontational, and often times has a rough background where they had to learn to defend themselves.”

Notable Examples: Vanessa from “Six Feet Under,” Carla from “Scrubs,” Ana Lucia from “Lost,” Gloria from “Modern Family,” Santana from “Glee” (Replace every Spicy Latina — with the exception of Gloria — with a Sassy Black Nurse, and you’ve got yourself an improved show.)

#6. Exotic Animal in Urban Setting

TV Tropes Excerpt: This one doesn’t have a definition because it’s not a trope that exists. YET. It’s been bugging me lately because of the horse from “2 Broke Girls,” who the writers finally got rid of during Monday’s episode. No, they didn’t kill the thing, but rather sent him to a stable, out of the broke girls’ Brooklyn backyard. In a show full of stupid characters, Chestnut might be the worst. Except for Peach. She’s the WORST.

Notable Examples: Marcel the Monkey from “Friends,” Bear from “B. J. and the Bear,” Chestnut the Horse from “2 Broke Girls” (“Lancelot Link” is excepted because IT’S ABOUT TALKING MONKEYS)

#5. Dumbass Has a Point

TV Tropes Excerpt: “A character who’s normally Book Dumb, The Ditz, or possibly even the Ralph Wiggum comes up with a valuable insight. The character most often heard belittling their intelligence sighs heavily and concedes, ‘I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I agree with him.’”

Notable Examples: Cosmo from “The Fairly Oddparents,” Patrick from “Spongebob Squarepants,” Brittany from “Daria,” Nathan from “Misfits,” Bill from “NewsRadio” (And this one’s been on my mind because of the George Clooney movie, The Descendants, and specifically, the character of Sid. He’s a lunkhead who asks inappropriate questions and laughs at Clooney’s mom (his sort-of girlfriend’s grandmother) having Alzheimer’s, but when it’s time for him and George to have a heart-to-heart, it turns out he’s actually very wise and misunderstood gentle idiot. UGH. NO. Just keep them dumb. That’s how we like ‘em.)

#4. Will They or Won’t They?

TV Tropes Excerpt: “Two characters, often combative but with obvious Unresolved Sexual Tension, resist going into a full blown relationship for a rather long time. Usually the two characters will be presented so that “they will” is the conclusion to root for; only rarely is the question of whether the writers think they should in any real doubt.”

Notable Examples: Ross and Rachel from “Friends,” Ben and Leslie from “Parks and Recreation,” J.D. and Elliot from “Scrubs,” Mulder and Scully from “The X-Files,” Sam and Diane from “Cheers,” Niles and Daphne from “Fraiser” (Most shows — particularly sitcoms — go down this route at least once. I don’t know why, either.)

#3. Psycho Ex-Girlfriend

TV Tropes Excerpt: “This is someone The Hero used to be with, but broke it off. Said Ex does not take rejection well.”

Notable Examples: While I was thinking of obnoxious tropes (like this one!) and writing this article, my fiancée was watching “The Good Wife” on CBS. During a commercial break, a promo for an upcoming hilarious new episode of “Two and a Half Men” aired, and one of the clips showed Ashton Kutcher’s ex-wife, Bridget (why, Judy Greer, why?), crashing her car into his house, because she’s cray-cray. There are hundreds of examples of this, from both good shows and bad, and they’re all equally annoying.

#2. Jerk with a Heart of Gold

TV Tropes Excerpt: “A person you would expect to be a big Jerkass turns out to be the nicest person you’ve ever met, or at the very least has some redeeming qualities behind their tough demeanor. Occasionally, they’ll actively try to make it a Hidden Heart of Gold.”

Notable Examples: Kim Kelly from “Freaks and Geeks,” Dr. Morris from “ER,” Dean from “Supernatural,” Dan from “Night Court,” Spike from “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” Major Charles from “M*A*S*H” (I honestly can’t think of a show that doesn’t use this trope. Thing is, sometimes we want our jerks to remain jerks and not team up with the good guys. That’s what ruined Spike as a character on “Buffy.” It’s not always a bad thing for characters to be just evil.)

#1. SLOW MOTION to Signify DRAMA

Every slow motion scene on TV is part of the worst trope EVER. (With the exception of this one, from “Spaced.”) I hate slow mo. I bet it was created by the same monster who gave the green light to “Shasta McNasty” and canceled “Terriers.” I’m on to you, Mr. Forced Drama. Go listen to your the Fray CD, very slowly.

Read the comments section of any “Family Guy” video on YouTube and inevitably, someone will say that Seth MacFarlane sucks and that the show’s just a rip-off of “The Simpsons”. I’m the biggest “Simpsons” fan around, but even I don’t believe that. Like Roger Myers, Jr. once said:

“Animation is built on plagiarism. If it weren’t for someone plagiarizing ‘The Honeymooners’, we wouldn’t have ‘The Flintstones’. If someone hadn’t ripped off ‘Sgt. Bilko’, there’d be no ‘Top Cat.’ Huckleberry Hound, Chief Wiggum, Yogi Bear? Hah! Andy Griffith, Edward G. Robinson, Art Carney. Your honor, you take away our right to steal ideas, where are they gonna come from?”

With that mind, here are six instances of “The Simpsons” and “Family Guy” using the same joke. Note that I said “joke,” rather than “plot” because otherwise, yes, SIMPSONS DID IT!

“The Simpsons”
Episode: “Jaws Wired Shut”
Airdate: January 27, 2002

The Simpsons go to the movie theater to see Shenanigoats. Before the film starts, trivia questions are shown on the screen, including a jumble for “MOT HANKS.” Lisa says, “These are so easy. It’s obviously Tom Hanks.” The correct answer: “Otm Shank,” India’s Brian Dennehy, according to Apu.

“Family Guy”
Episode: “Friends of Peter G”
Airdate: February 13, 2011

Peter and Brian go to the movies early because Peter hates missing the “movie trivia slides.” Brian replies, “Those questions are the easiest, most pandering things in the world.” On screen, a name—T_M H_NKS—appears with a hint: “This actor won an Oscar for his portrayal of Forrest Gump.” Peter thinks it’s “Tim Honks,” but the correct answer is “Tom Hanks.”

Ladies and genetlemen, please welcome once again Josh Kurp, Warming Glow’s official Listführer. I think this is his finest contribution yet.

Considering no one actually reads intros to lists, I’ll just say one thing: catchphrases like “D’oh!” or “Hello, Newman” aren’t recurring jokes. To the list!

#10. Peggy’s Huge Feet on “King of the Hill”

The average-sized Peggy has gigantic feet, measuring at 16 and 16 ½ (women’s sizes), causing her much distress. Throughout the show’s (still sadly underrated) existence, the writers went back to her huge feet time and time again, including the episode “Transnational Amusements Presents: Peggy’s Magic Sex Feet,” which presumably inspired this lovely piece of slash fiction and these sensually slowed-down YouTube videos.

#9. The Misery of Hans Moleman on “The Simpsons”

Someone getting hurt is always an amusing gag, which is why Hans Moleman is one of “The Simpsons’” biggest fan favorites. According to this website that hasn’t been updated since 2000, Moleman has died eight times on the show. I will never doubt the reliability of a Lowb.org site, so we’ll go with that figure, but here’s what else we know about Hans: he’s 31 years old, looking the way he does because he’s an alcoholic; basically blind; often gets hit in the groin with a football; had his brain drilled in by Mr. Burns, who mistook Hans for the Lucky Charms leprechaun; slept with Lars Ulrich’s grandmother; and clamors for blood at youth hockey games. Most tragically, no one’s gay for Moleman.

#8. Frank’s Gun on “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”

A friend once described to me an “Always Sunny” drinking game, where viewers have to take a shot every time Dennis takes off his shirt, the guys make fun of Dee, Charlie does “Charlie Work,” etc. But my favorite was this: every time Frank Reynolds, played to disgusting perfection by Danny DeVito, whips out his gun (an actual gun, you perv), the group has to drink. Considering Frank takes out his gun in situations ranging from shooting a bunny in the woods (or at least trying to) to entering Paddy’s Pub when he thinks it’s on fire, contestants get blackout drunk quicker than Charlie and Frank do huffing glue and eating cat food.

We’re running out of time for year-end lists! That means it’s time for one more entry from Josh Kurp, Warming Glow’s Listmaker-in-Chief, about the absolute worst TV episodes to air this year.

In order to keep every entry from being an E! or TLC reality show, Josh limited the selections to scripted TV.  There are some ballsy selections here that I don’t necessarily agree with, so be sure to direct your outrage at him. We welcome your selections in the comments.

10. “Pilot,” Outlaw

GUILTY! ...of sucking.

We’re all in agreement that Jimmy Smits should probably just go away for a while, right? While I liked his character on Dexter, he was apart of the show’s weakest season; ditto with The West Wing, where he played Matt Santos for two seasons. Since leaving NYPD Blue in 1998, he’s appeared in Attack of the Clones, Revenge of the Sith, The Jane Austen Book Club, Cane (13 episodes), and most recently, Outlaw, which ran for eight episodes before being yanked off the air.

In the show’s first episode, Smits quits his job as a Supreme Court Justice to fight for the little guys at his own law firm. It was all downhill from there. Actual line of dialogue: “I sleep like a baby, though for you I’d be willing to make an exception.” You’re out of order; this whole show is out of order! (I’ll bet someone actually said something like that on Outlaw, too).

9. “The Greatest Story Ever D’ohed,” The Simpsons

Yes, I still watch The Simpsons, and yes, I know the show hasn’t been good since season eight. Says you. The quality has dropped over the years, but the Simpsons is still capable of an episode as funny as anything on TV—it’s just doesn’t happen very often, and it certainly didn’t happen with “The Greatest Story Ever D’ohed.” It contains every reason people don’t like the show: the family going to an exotic location (Israel), a repeated plot (Ned getting pissed at Homer), an overreliance on a celebrity (Sacha Baron Cohen), and lame pop culture gags (Transformers?). Not even a reference to my beloved Carolina Panthers could save a Simpsons episode somehow worse than “Bart to the Future.”

This is the trailer for “It’s a Trap!,” the “Family Guy” parody of Return of the Jedi that will complete Seth MacFarlane’s trilogy. As with ”Something, Something, Something, Dark Side” (the parody of The Empire Strikes Back), this will be released on DVD before it airs on Fox.

This series has never really done it for me — nothing in the video so much as made me smile — but it’s not like I can fault MacFarlane for making these. This last spoof is gonna make him a boatload of cash, which he can leave at the dock with his yacht of cash and barge of cash. I’m not sure why he keeps all of his cash on seafaring vessels. Hollywood people tend to be eccentric.

[The Live Feed]

Below is a video of a bulldog watching “Family Guy.” Nothing really happens, it’s just a minute of sheer anthropomorphic delight. Sorry girl, Brian only dates humans.

And yes, I realize that the masculine headline doesn’t match the bitch in the video. That’s the quote, okay? Just roll with it and enjoy the magic.

[via Guyism]

I don’t really enjoy Family Guy like I did when I was 17, but Sunday’s episode — the first one I’ve seen in years — was outstanding, mostly because it was 30 minutes of Brian and Stewie trapped in a bank vault. There were no musical selections or cut-away gags. The show held a clinic demonstrating what can be done solely with two well-developed characters. (If you’re interested in watching, I’ve embedded the whole episode after the jump).

The least interesting part of the episode involves Brian, through a sequence of logic, eating Stewie’s poop. Naturally, the Parents Television Council isn’t happy. The PTC points out that, yes, this violated FCC standards prohibiting “excretory organs or activities in terms patently offensive.” But it’s funny to see the PTC get all shook about it. Y’all are looking out for the children, correct? Your aim is to make sure that television doesn’t enforce negative behavior, right? So are you afraid that kids will watch this and want to eat poop? If that’s the case, you are working on behalf of a nation of children who will eat s*** if they see it done on television. You are lobbying on behalf of a constituency that clearly doesn’t deserve it.

Okay, so there’s been this big thing about “Family Guy” versus Sarah Palin over the last couple days, and I’ve tried to avoid it because nothing sucks the funny out of TV news quite like politics. But, if you’ve missed it, here’s the rundown: Sunday’s “Family Guy” featured a character with Down syndrome who said, “My dad’s an accountant, and my mom’s the former governor of Alaska.” (Watch the scene here.) Naturally, Palin got all pissy about someone talking about her retard baby Trig, because being sensitive about Down syndrome is the hot-button issue here in the year 1989.

The story finally stopped being boring when Andrea Fay Friedman, the actress with Down syndrome who delivered the line in question, wrote an email to several different news outlets addressing the controversy:

I guess former Governor Palin does not have a sense of humor. I thought the line “I am the daughter of the former governor of Alaska” was very funny. I think the word is “sarcasm.”

In my family we think laughing is good. My parents raised me to have a sense of humor and to live a normal life. My mother did not carry me around under her arm like a loaf of French bread the way former Governor Palin carries her son Trig around looking for sympathy and votes. [via Gawker]

Oh, SNAP. Someone get to Western Union and send Sarah Palin a burn notice, because that retarded girl just OWNED Palin and her mongoloid loaf of bread.