Bummer news for those who still watch Fox’s “House,” the medical procedural unofficially and loosely based on Sherlock Holmes, as the show has been canceled, effective at the end of the season. Yes, the show is stale; yes, “House” has been repeating itself for years, and yes it’s almost painfully predictable. But it was once a good show, and it’s still one of Fox’s better dramas, and whether you like the show anymore or not, television is better with Hugh Laurie.

According to the NYTimes:

“After much deliberation, the producers of House MD have decided that this season of the show, the 8th, should be the last.

“By April this year they will have completed 177 episodes, which is about 175 more than anyone expected back in 2004,” the statement said.

“He should never be the last one to leave the party. How much better to disappear before the music stops, while there is still some promise and mystique in the air,” the statement said.

The decision was partly motivated by a desire to preserve the main character, Dr Gregory House, as an “enigmatic creature”.

I don’t expect there will be too much sadness. Even the 10 million viewers or so that continue to hang on are probably just listlessly waiting it out, half-focused on another formulaic plot. Most expected that this would be the last season, anyway.

Laurie has said that he will not do another TV show after “House,” but I suspect there are enough meaty roles in British television to lure him out at some point.

No finale date has been set.

Not pictured: Stage Manager Debbie Williams

After 16-year-old Symone Black finishes a perfectly pleasant performance of “(Sittin’ On) The Dock of the Bay” during last night’s “American Idol,” she begins talking with the judges. Randy asks her why she chose that song. She answers, “I wanted to reach out to an older crowd,” and Dawg E. Dawg begins teasing her, responding with, “You’re saying we’re older?” What a card. Symone then visibly begins to stumble and trip over her words, and, like so many other women who have been within 10 feet of Steven Tyler, she collapses and falls off the stage.

And the episode ends, with a voiceover instructing viewers to tune in tomorrow to see whether Symone Black LIVES or DIES. More or less. It’s a di*k move on “Idol”‘s part, taking advantage of a young woman possibly having a seizure for higher ratings. But if you’re surprised that a Fox show would exploit someone, you clearly haven’t seen “The Littlest Groom” or “Who’s Your Daddy?” or “My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé.” I love Fox.

Also in last night’s episode: Jim Carrey’s daughter, Jane, performed Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Lookin’ Out My Back Door,” but didn’t sing it out her back door. I guess the skill doesn’t run in the family.

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Continuing the theme of awesome breaking TV news, it was reported last night that FOX has greenlit a pilot from “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” creator, and noted temporary big fat guy, Rob McElhenney. From Deadline:

Fox has given the green light to one more pilot, a single-camera comedy from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia creator/star Rob McElhenney and the show’s executive producer Rob Rosell. The project, titled “Living Loaded,” is based on the book of the same name by Dan Dunn. It centers on a loose partying blogger forced to change his career plans when he becomes a radio host.

[record scratch]

Hold on. HOLD ON. A “loose partying blogger” who ends up with a radio show? That’s pretty much my dream life summed up in one sentence. The only thing missing is a phrase like “with the help of his wise sensei” or “and takes down a diabolical criminal syndicate” tacked onto the end. Those are freebies, producers. Here to help.

Truthfully, though, this show sounds like EVERY blogger’s dream life. It could end up being to us what “Sex and the City” was to single, suburban girls who visited New York once and acted like they were the Carrie Bradshaw of Peoria. “THIS IS JUST LIKE OUR LIVES” we will exclaim while watching the main character live out our fantasy as we eat a peanut butter sandwich for dinner for the sixth day in a row. I, for one, can’t wait.

Our buddies over at Kissing Suzy Kolber (HI MATT!) have been fascinated by Cleatus, FOX NFL Sunday’s guitar-thursting, Iron Man-fighting party robot, since before it was cool. He now has an action figure, Twitter account*, and spin-off. But Cleatus, who has been dancing like Ray Lewis next to Bud Light bottles since 2005, was missing one crucial element of fame: fan fiction. Until now.

(* Cleatus’ Twitter wisdom includes: “What’s going on with The Fins? Never trust a man in sunglasses” and “I set my clock for Day Lights savings but I forgot to set it for @timtebow TIME!”)

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A scornful look, cookies, and alcohol: this show has NAILED women.

I’ve never seen a show hate its own characters more than in the pilot episode of Fox’s “I Hate My Teenage Daughter.” Jaime Pressly and Katie Finneran play two middle-aged moms who, as the title of the show suggests, hate their adolescent daughters, Sophie (Kristi Lauren) and Mackenzie (Aisha Dee).

Basing a show around two thirty-something, previously unpopular moms living vicariously through their younger, hotter offspring isn’t a totally awful idea, and Pressly and Finnernan do their best with the material they were given, but the writing is embarrassingly bad. Pressly’s character was raised in a super religious household and Finneran’s was borderline-obese as a teenager, and the show wrings every last possible joke out of those moldy towels. We’re supposed to find it amusing that one of them doesn’t know what Little House on the Prairie is and that when things get difficult, the other eats pie with her hands, “like a bear,” according to one of the show’s three women-do-be-shoppin’ males, including Cutty from “The Wire.” The women are exaggerated, the men exasperated, and no one looks happy, especially the manipulative, snotty daughters.

The writers seem to think that humor comes from shrill caricatures, hyperbolic facial reactions, and women eating food and drinking to solve their problems, rather than, y’know, interesting characters and well thought-out jokes. “I Hate My Teenage Daughter” is maybe the worst sitcom I’ve ever seen, and this coming from someone who’s watched “Emily’s Reasons Why Not” and every episode of “2 Broke Girls.” Your move, “Work It.”

After the jump, some of the show’s worst out-of-context quotes and most obnoxious facial expressions.

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