Three years ago today, we were subjected to Gilly for the first time – and we still haven’t quite recovered.

Since “SNL” premiered in 1975, the show has seen more than 800 recurring characters, according to the indispensable SNL Archives. Many have been hilarious and used sparingly (like Blue Öyster Cult cowbell player Gene Frenkle), but many more have been dreadful, overexposed, and increasingly nerve-grating through repetition. Because obviously unfunny characters become funnier the more they’re featured.

Here are 10 “SNL” recurring characters who should have stopped after an appearance or two (minimum four appearances), including the three-year-old Gilly. Finally, she actually has something to say “sorry” for.

Character: Church Lady
Played by: Dana Carvey
Appearances: 21

The Church Lady was funny at the beginning, like when “she” interviewed Tammy Faye and Jim Baker (Jan Hooks and Phil Hartman), but grew increasingly obnoxious after the fifth, tenth, fifteenth, twentieth, and, finally, twenty-first appearance, ranging from 1986-2011. (It’s a weird feeling when an ongoing “SNL” sketch is older than you are.) Special? Not quite.

Character: Billy Smith
Played by: Fred Armisen
Appearances: 4

Doesn’t it seem like the “joke” of most of Fred Armisen’s characters is that they’re not funny? Take Native American comic Billy Smith, for instance. Here’s a transcript from a 2003 episode:

Billy Smith: It sure is a pleasure to be here in New York. Is anybody here from out of town? How about you, where do you come from?
Jimmy Fallon: Uh…I’m from upstate.
Billy: Sorry.
Jimmy: I said, I’m from upstate New York.
Billy: I know! And I’m greatly sorry! Do you see? I am disparaging the place of your birth!

The intentional non-joke joke is rarely funny; it only works when the subject material is really dark, like when Lars Von Trier made his infamous “I’m a Nazi” joke. It also helps to have “FU*K” tattooed on your knuckles.

Character: Leon Phelps
Played by: Tim Meadows
Appearances: 19

There have been 11 movies based on nine “SNL” characters, from 1980’s The Blues Brothers to 2010’s MacGruber. Most of them, to put it gently, HAVE BEEN TERRIBLE. But only three have Rotten Tomatoes scores under 15%: It’s Pat, A Night at the Roxbury, and The Ladies Man, the worst of the trio. Why? The Pat movie itself isn’t funny, at all, but the IDEA of a Pat movie is fantastic, while Roxbury stars Will Ferrell, which at least gives it some credibility. The Ladies Man, as a character, is just BAD; Tim Meadows always seemed so desperate for a laugh, which took away the entire point of the supposedly “cool” character. Plus, that lisp!

Character: Opera Man
Played by: Adam Sandler
Appearances: 10

Canteen Boy/Cajun Boy/Herlihy Boy > Opera Man

Character: Christy Henderson
Played by: David Spade
Appearances: 7

I wanted to include David Spade’s Total Bastards Airline “Buh-Bye” guy, but he only appeared in two sketches. So, instead we have Christy from the Gap Girls series, which realllyyy hasn’t aged well.

Character(s): Marty and Bobbi Culp
Played: Will Ferrell and Ana Gasteyer
Appearances: 21

In his seven seasons on “SNL,” Will Ferrell played 27 original recurring characters. Most of them — including Frank Henderson, Jeffrey’s Supervisor, and Jacob Silj — were classics. But there were a few duds, too, like the Culps. Ferrell and Ana Gasteyer played two unhip music teachers who sang modern classics by DMX and Pink, and though they both do their best to make the material funny (and it kind of was at first), it’s hard to find THAT much humor in the duo singing Nine Days’ “Absolutely (Story of a Girl).” Over 20 appearances for a one-joke act was too much, particularly when it’s just a rehash of Bill Murray’s Nick the Lounge Singer character.

Character: Mango
Played by: Chris Kattan
Appearances: 16

Mango, the exotic dancer you loved to hate, appeared on “SNL” 16 TIMES. By comparison, “The Blues Brothers” only had five sketches, while “Celebrity Jeopardy” had 14. That’s why I chose Kattan’s Mango over Mr. Peepers — he’s the epitome of an at-first vaguely amusing character getting run into the ground for reasons beyond comprehension. They needed to fill air-time? They needed to find someone who made Jennifer Lopez and Gwyneth Paltrow look humble(ish) by comparison. Who knows.

Character: Fericito
Played by: Fred Armisen
Appearances: 8

Fred Armisen is the only repeat offender on this list, but that’s what happens when you’re credited with 31 characters. Honestly, very few of them are any good, and Nicholas Fehn, Manuel Ortiz, or Gunther Kelly all could have been here instead. Fericito just bugs me the most because of that “womp-womp” thing he does EVERY DAMN TIME. Armisen should really just ditch playing a variety of “ethnic” roles on “SNL,” and instead solely focus on “Portlandia,” where he’s actually quite endearing.

Character(s): Wendy and Doug Whiner
Played by: Robin Duke and Joe Piscopo
Appearances: 10

As their name implies, they whined. A lot. In loud voices and stretched-out syllables. That’s it. They’re like if you took Paul Rudd’s character from Wet Hot American Summer, particularly the scene where he dramatically throws his body around while cleaning up his mess, but made him uncool, unfunny, and obnoxious, and did it TEN TIMES in two years.

Character: Gilly
Played by: Kristen Wiig
Appearances: 4

Looking for a good time on the Internet? Do a YouTube search for “Gilly Impression”:

I just assume everyone in Portland dresses like this.

“Portlandia” stars Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein will lend their voices to a next-season episode of “The Simpsons,” according to TV Line. Creator Matt Groening hails from Portland, leading some to believe this definitively means that Springfield is in Oregon (it’s not). But considering his involvement with the long-running series at this point (nothing at all, nothing at all…), the casting move has more to do with the “Simpsons” on-going quest to have every person ever on the show.

The duo will play part of a “cool” family that moves from Portland to Springfield and becomes the Simpsons’ new neighbors. Homer desperately tries to befriend them, but Marge is skeptical that being cool isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. (TV Line)

It’s getting tougher and tougher to NOT be able to connect our favorite current shows to “The Simpsons” in a single step (One Degree of Mmm…Bacon?…I’m sorry). “Breaking Bad”: check. “Mad Men”: check. “Boardwalk Empire”: check. “Game of Thrones”: check. “Parks and Recreation”: check. “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”: check. “Louie”: check. “30 Rock”: check. “Community”: check. Anything Anthony Bourdain related: check.

BUT, off the top of my head, I can’t think of a connection between “The Simpsons” and “Justified,” “Homeland,” “Archer,” or “Eastbound and Down,” meaning they need to cast H. Jon Benjamin and Timothy Olyphant as two secret-agent detectives who go undercover as nuclear power plant employees to investigate whether Homer’s cocky new assistant, voiced by Danny McBride, is who he says he is…IN IRAQ. Practically writes itself.

Ha ha ha, I love you, click-baiting headlines. Below you’ll find video of Helen Mirren’s promo clips for this weekend’s “Saturday Night Live.” None of them are particularly funny, but she does at one point pretend to be horny, and the fact that she does it while touching Fred Armisen is further proof that she’s a great actress. Hot damn. Look at her. Sixty-five years old and still got her fastball. She’s the Nolan Ryan of women I want to teach me about sex. (I can’t wait to learn!)

Seriously, can you believe she was born during World War II? Well, kind of. She was born after V-E Day but before V-J Day, and since she’s British, I guess the war was technically over for her family. But I’m not here to argue about the semantics of when World War II ended, I’m just here for Helen Mirren looking like a sexy-ass silver fox.

Heh heh, “V-J Day.”

Here’s a promo for “Portlandia,” a sketch show coming to IFC in January that will mock Pacific Northwest granola types. It stars Fred Armisen of “SNL” and Carrie Brownstein of Sleater-Kinney, and the first season promises appearances by Kyle MacLachlan, Heather Graham, Jason Sudeikis, Selma Blair, and Aubrey Plaza (who appears in the video).

I’m not exactly a fan of Armisen, but this has a chance to win me over. It’s definitely time that the Northwest’s 21st century eco-yupsters got made fun of. All it’s gonna take is a recurring gag featuring a white guy with dredlocks getting beaten by policemen, and this will instantly be my new favorite show.

"Shell art is OVER!"

[Pitchfork via Vulture]

Paul Rudd hosted “Saturday Night Live” this weekend, and it was a pretty disappointing show, even by my own forgiving standards for “SNL.” Paul McCartney was given time to play four songs, which is understandable since he was a Beatle, but is NOT understandable when most of those songs are Wings songs. “Band on the Run”? Seriously? In 2010? Screw you, McCartney.

“SNL” also wasted Rudd’s comedic talents on my least favorite recurring sketch, the Kissing Family. (Haha, relatives making out. It’s funny because it’s gay incest.) And I now fast forward through the cold open the second I see Fred Armisen’s Barack Obama, because I know that it’s just going to be five minutes of me waiting for a laugh that never comes.

However, criticism aside, there were some highlights. Click through for the best of the show. And yes, they’re Hulu videos, so you foreigners will just have to busy yourself with government health care while we Americans enjoy online video clips.

My favorite sketch of the night. Original, funny, not too long.

I don’t go crazy for Bill Hader’s Stefon the way a lot of people do — it would be better if he didn’t break character every time — but there was a lot to like here. “A glimpse into Seth Meyers!” was a great line delivered well.

Guaranteed laugh from me every time: people making fun of British royalty. I’ll never say anything nice about Wings, but McCartney was definitely a good sport in this episode (he was also in the digital short, which isn’t online at the moment).

Okay, we’re stretching it for highlights with this one, but there’s still some solid material here. Solid material about liquid feces. That’s wordplay, right there.

Trademark “SNL” fake commercial. It was sandwiched between the deathly boring cold open/monologue and the horrendous Kissing Family sketch, so it’s a highlight simply for not being offensively unfunny.

And here’s the talent that “SNL” wasted: the classic “Celery Man” sketch from Tim & Eric. “Nude. Tayne.”

Anne Hathaway hosted this weekend’s episode of “Saturday Night Live,” and the entire episode was downright not terrible. I’d even go so far as to call it “good,” as long as you discount the politically-themed cold open (I’m getting into the habit of fast-forwarding through the first sketch).

Anyway, Hathaway’s Katie Holmes impression will probably get the most buzz, but my favorite sketch was “Visting the Queen.” I always enjoy a comical blue-collar British accent, but it’s even funnier coming from a man pretending to be the Queen of England. Also included in my highlight reel below:

• Mega Mart’s Black Friday commercial starring Bobby Moynihan. Reminiscent of the YouTube classic PowerThirst, and in general more things need to remind me of PowerThirst.
• The Thanksgivies: an awards show honoring people who have ruined Thanksgiving. This video is a WEB EXCLUSIVE!, which is a nice way of saying it didn’t make the cut for the live show. But I enjoyed it.

Continue below for all the Hulu videos that the Canadians can’t watch. And a caveat: the headline is deliberately misleading, so you won’t see a KATIE HOLMES-ANNE HATHAWAY NUDE LESBIAN SEX SCENE.

Anne Hathaway as Katie Holmes on the Miley Cyrus Show:

Anne Hathaway as Kate Middleton with Fred Armisen as the Queen:

Black Friday with Bobby Moynihan:

The Thanksgivies:

Also receiving votes: Message from the TSA; The Wizard of Oz.

Fred Armisen of “Saturday Night Live” looks like Elton John dressed as a lesbian, but that doesn’t seem to affect his love life. When he married Elisabeth Moss last year, there was some cognitive dissonance, but nobody seemed to mind because Moss plays ugly on “Mad Men.” Apparently, Armisen (43) ejaculates diamonds, because he’s split up with Moss after ten months and is now dating 23-year-old “SNL” castmate Abby Elliott, AKA “the cute one.”

“They’ve known each other for a few years from being on SNL together but after the split, Fred sought comfort in Abby. They just started dating a few months ago. “Fred and Abby are getting to know each other in a romantic way and taking things slowly. But they’re enjoying each other’s company. It’s early days,” says a source close to the couple.

A friend of Elisabeth’s tells Life & Style, “Elisabeth is doing great and focused on Mad Men and is enjoying the single life. This news won’t even phase her.” [Life & Style]

Or, more accurately, the news won’t even faze her. Because she’s moved on to a new phase in her life.

Christ. The person who wrote that article gets to tell everyone she meets that she writes for a magazine, as does the copy editor who missed the mistake, as does the editor responsible for it. And everyone they meet is like, “Oh, that seems like a nice job.” And yet every third person I meet is all, “A blogger? You can make money doing that?” Yeah, I can. It’s not the best job, but I’m overqualified for magazine work.

Exactly a year ago today while filling in for Matt on this site, I proclaimed that SNL deadweight Fred Armisen had never done anything funny in his career. Now comes the news that IFC has picked up a series that Armisen will star in that will consist of comedy shorts that “lovingly illustrates the people and values of Portland, Ore.” I’m laughing already. Repetitive tasks just put me in that kind of mood.

Lorne Michaels is producing, so this must be some sort of consolation to a long-time cast member who can’t develop a character interesting enough to carry a movie vehicle. But Aubrey Plaza has already been mentioned as one of the guest stars on the show, so I suppose I can be convinced to tune in to see her mumble and glare at someone. I’m convinced she’s the daughter of Mexico’s Bill Belichick.

Now, I’ve never been to Portland and probably never will because it’s not located within my laptop, but it’s always mentioned in the same breath as Austin as one of the noted hipster havens in our great nation. So I’m guessing there’s something to trade on with that. So long as you’re into the lovingly illustrative school of hipster insults.

By my account, Fred Armisen has never done anything funny, though I think I cracked a half smile with his “yazz flute” character in Anchorman and maybe once at the “I’m jos’ keeeeding” guy on SNL. But his Obama impression is an embarrassment, so in retrospect I hate those things now. With that in mind, I was a little shocked by this “Intervention” parody he did for Funny or Die. Not because it’s particularly funny, mind you, because it’s not, but because it’s somewhat clever and it’s a rare instance when Armisen isn’t relying on goofy accents to get a laugh. Baby steps, Fred.

Like most other people, my mind is blown by the idea that Al Franken — the guy who played freakin’ Stuart Smalley — is now a United States senator (or is about to be, whatever).  Even if it’s from the state that elected a feather boa-wearing pro wrestler governor.  But then the Associated Press touched upon an issue I hadn’t yet considered: who will play Minnesota’s junior senator on “Saturday Night Live”?

When asked Wednesday who’d be best for the role, Franken first told The Associated Press it may be Fred Armisen, who portrays President Barack Obama in SNL skits. He then said occasional guest Alec Baldwin might be a better fit. [...]

Franken himself parodied a U.S. senator at least once on SNL, playing a Democrat at confirmation hearings for Supreme Court nominee Clarence Thomas. Franken expects be on the Senate Judiciary Committee, for real, by the time hearings begin for Obama high court nominee Sonia Sotomayor.

So. Freakin’. Weird.  It’s hard enough for me to accept parody becoming reality, but for parody to parody the parody-turned-reality?  That hurts my brain.  And what if Franken comes on the show to reprise Stuart Smalley and give advice to Armisen-as-Franken?  It would create a parody paradox that might just end the world.  Or at least democracy.