This may be my only chance to post a Nirvana picture – let me have this.

In his ongoing attempt to prove that anything you can do he can do better, Foo Fighters’ frontman David Eric Grohl has signed on as an executive producer of an FX comedy about a feuding rock band that seeks professional help when they’re on the verge of stardom. Unfortunately, according to Deadline, “they end up with a misanthropic couple’s therapist from Agoura on the brink of divorce.” Gee, what would Grohl know about a band collapsing under the crushing pressure of fame?

The unnamed show was created by and will star former “Ben Stiller Show” and “Simpsons” writer Dana Gould, who also released a great comedy special, Let Me Put My Thoughts in You. A “Simpsons,” Nirvana, and Tenacious D pedigree is promising, even if (or because?) the premise sounds like “Some Kind of Monster: The Sitcom!” The most important detail of the show hasn’t been announced, though: what’s going to be the name of the fictional band? Corgi Explosion? Wet Taint? Long Hair and the Babes? Not Nirvana? Leave your suggestions.

The best network on television is FX, hands down. Its track record isn’t spotless — the last few seasons of both “Rescue Me” and “Nip/Tuck” were slogs, and “Wilfred” is only middling-to-good depending on the episode and your intoxication level — but on a percentage basis, FX succeeds far more frequently than it fails (even if is too quick to pull the cancellation trigger on some of its better series like “The Riches,” “Terriers,” and the amazing but short-lived “Thief”). That is to say: A network that airs “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,” “Justified,” “Sons of Anarchy,” “The League,” and “Louie” has no business even putting a show like “Unsupervised” on the air. It is atrocious, and FX would be wise to take it out behind the woodshed and put two in its head before the show causes further damage to the network’s otherwise sterling reputation.

The best way to describe “Unsupervised” is as “Beavis and Butthead” without the music videos (or “Jersey Shore” segments) or any of the humor. If Seth MacFarlane and Mike Judge had a baby, beat it until it was brain-damaged, and gave it an animated series, it might look like “Unsupervised.” Its failure is inexplicable, as it comes from David Hornsby, (“It’s Always Sunny’s” Rickety Cricket), who also wrote, created, and starred in the abysmal “How to be a Gentleman,” which was canceled earlier this year on CBS. Still, without the restrictions of network television, and with exec-producers Charlie Day, Rob McElhenney and Glenn Howerton, “Unsupervised” seemed a much better bet for Hornsby’s comedic style. However, after the first episode, you can’t help but think that the “Sunny” guys did it as a favor to Horsnby, and FX greenlit it as a favor to the “Sunny” fellas. Somebody along the way should’ve had the testicles to say no.

Justin Long and David Hornsby voice the two main characters, Gary and Joel, two coming-of-age teenage virgins attempting to transform themselves into “cool” kids. The wrinkle here is that they’ve been all but abandoned by their parents, so they’re given free reign (but little income opportunity) to do anything they want. The problem, at least from a comedy perspective, is that the characters seem to lack self-awareness: They are Beavis and Butthead without any of the cynicism. Instead of bucking the high-school system in an effort to get laid, they try to play into it. But the show fails to provide much in the way of friction or conflict (no parents, no real Ted McGinley character), and the premise gets bogged down in its own over-eager earnestness.

It doesn’t help either that — with the freedom of basic cable — Horsnby takes Seth MacFarlane’s brand of comedy to its logical extreme and just does away with jokes all together. There are only profanities and references to boners and the number 69 (Really? 69?) without any effort to provide context, and unless you’re George Carlin and it’s 1972, stringing together a series of swear words isn’t funny. In fact, nothing in “Unsupervised” is. It’s a crater of fail, and the voice work from Kristen Bell, Romany Malco, and Fred Armisen does nothing to improve it.

As good as its surprising first season was, “Justified” entered rarefied heights in its second season, earning critical acclaim (a well deserved Emmy for Margo Martindale, plus nominations for Timothy Olyphant and Walton Goggins) as well as fanboy huffing here at Warming Glow, where all of the show’s trappings — a shoot-first protagonist, complex characters, femmes fatales, bourbon, snappy one-liners, and noir undertones — appeal equally to our intellectual proclivities and baser instincts. Entering Season 3, my primary concern was whether “Justified” would match Season 2′s quality and join “Mad Men” and “Breaking Bad” as a terrific show that grows from year to year, or regress to mere testosterone thrills, as its FX mate “Sons of Anarchy” did after its own stellar second season. After viewing the first four episodes of Season 3, I’m happy to say that the former is very much the case: “Justified” is still one of the best shows on television.

As Season 3 opens, the void left by the death of Mags Bennett dictates most of the conflict. As Raylan Givens (Olyphant) recovers from his gunshot wound, Boyd Crowder (Goggins) looks to rebuild a criminal gang from the ground up. On his to-do list: take over the Bennetts’ marijuana business, recruit more muscle (he doesn’t have much more than Arlo and Ava at the outset), get revenge on Dickie Bennett (Jeremy Davies) for shooting Ava, and steal Mags Bennett’s savings, which are in the trust of new bad guy Ellstin Limehouse, played by Mykelti Williamson. It sounds like a lot, but if there’s one thing we know about Boyd Crowder by now, it’s that he always has a plan.

Over in town, Robert Quarles (Neal McDonough) has been dispatched by the Detroit mob to clean up their operation in eastern Kentucky. He recognizes the opportunity to get into the Oxycontin business and snares Wynn Duffy (Jere Burns) to help him out, despite Raylan’s threat to kill Duffy the next time he saw him. Raylan, meanwhile, is finally committed to Winona (Natalie Zea). She’s pregnant, they’re looking for a house together, and for the first time since the show’s inception, they appear to be truly happy with each other — and that’s when Carla Gugino shows up for what I hope isn’t just a one-episode guest appearance. Gugino arrives in the second episode as a higher-up in the Marshalls (not named Karen Sisco) who shares a past with Raylan, and she’s fantastic in the role. Of course, that’s the same thing I’ve said about every role Gugino’s ever had, and I saw Sucker Punch. It’s possible that I’m not entirely objective.

My Gugino bias notwithstanding, the writing and acting remain outstanding on “Justified.” My notes from the first four episodes are peppered with helpful insights like “Walton Goggins = great,” and at this point it should be understood that Goggins and Olyphant carry the show as perfectly matched friends and foils without me having to say so explicitly. But everyone else holds their own, too. Winona and Ava (Joelle Carter) are both developing in pleasing ways, and the new season wastes little time in giving story lines to the Raylan’s oft-overlooked co-workers: Art (Nick Searcy), Tim Gutterson (Jacob Pitts), and Rachel (Erica Brooks). Every scene is handled with care by the writing staff: in one scene during the third episode, Raylan talks to a state trooper about the whereabouts of a fugitive. The scene is primarily expository, existing only to link larger, more important pieces of the story, but the state trooper deadpans two acerbic lines and delivers a laugh in his only minute of screen time. Details matter: on “Justified,” the trooper is a sarcastic guy bringing his daughter to work because his wife is sick; on “CSI” or “NCIS,” that nameless character may as well be a cardboard cutout holding a sign that reads “BAD GUYS THATAWAY.”

Those new bad guys don’t meet in the first four episodes, but it’s clear that Quarles and Limehouse will present a daunting challenge for Raylan and the Marshalls (and, by the looks of it, for Boyd as well). McDonough plays Quarles with casual menace; he’s a cold-blooded gangster in a sharp suit, a Hollywood archetype that fits the 21st century only slightly better than Raylan’s throwback lawman. (James Cagney versus Clint Eastwood could only make sense on “Justified.”) Williamson, however, has the breakout performance of Season 3′s first act. Limehouse first appears late in the second episode, carving a pig carcass as he makes quiet threats to a young man who fell asleep on watch. Perhaps butchery is a trope for Hollywood villains (see also: Gangs of New York, “Game of Thrones,” “Boardwalk Empire”), but it’s a badass trope effective in its characterization: a man capable of casual conversation while filleting an animal carcass is not someone to be trifled with. Quarles may be quicker to use his gun, but Limehouse is the expert in creating pain.

What happens the rest of the season, in terms of both plot and show quality, is anyone’s guess, but the first four episodes indicate that we’re in very good hands. “Justified” does many things well — it’s well-written, well-acted, sexy, and surprisingly funny — but its best quality has always been the way it gives overarching story lines a slow burn over the course of a season while providing tense, explosive action from week to week. Season 3 maintains that excellence across the board. You don’t want to miss it.

To Zombiedom!

If you’re one of the 365,875 people who “Like” “Justified” on Facebook, as you should, you saw a video posted to your News Feed this morning. It was a behind-the-scenes look at season three, but the *SPOILER?* headline read, “Is Mags coming back as a ZOMBIE?” The correct answer is, of course, no. That would be extremely dumb, and creator Graham Yost says as much 30 seconds into the clip; it’s just a way for FX to get people to look at their video, kind of like what I did with my headline. And yet:

As of my typing this, 122 people have commented on the post, and many wrote something along the lines of, “No zombies, please! Good grief! If I wanted to watch something that stupid I would watch The Walking Dead! WTF? If ya’ll do this, you have lost one of your biggest fans!” Or, “I will have to quit watching. No stupid zombies. This show will be another stupid copycat of the dumb vampire thing.” Or, simply, “Cant wait to c Boyd…abc.” Who the fu*k are these people, and why are they so gullible?

Moral of the story: “Justified” is awesome, with or without zombies, and people are stupid. Anyways, here’s the video, AND OMG IF THEY BRING BACK MAGS AS A ZOMBEE, IM DONE W/ JUSTIFEED 4 EVA.

Adam Reed’s brilliant “Archer” is all set to return on January 19th after a lackluster three-episode run in the fall (sorry, “Archer” is fantastic — the best animated sitcom on television — but those three episodes were weak sauce). If you’re not watching “Archer,” well, first of all, what’s wrong with you? And second, f*ck your dolphin. You’re seriously missing out. Did you know, for instance, that Archer was the first to recognize that the turtleneck could be used as a tactical garment? The tactical turtleneck? The tactalneck? You’d know that if you watched, you filthy whores.

Ahead of its return, the FX Network has released a series of promo clips explaining what Archer would do in certain situations, such as the above one, “What Would Archer Do On New Year’s Eve?” After the jump, there’s three more, and all four clips suggest that the show is once again in fine form. And a reminder to all of you from Sterling Archer ahead of the New Year: Whether you call them high end escorts, prostitutes or call girls, they’re all hookers when they’re dead.

What Would Archer Do on Date Night?

What Would Archer Do in an Office Romance

What Would Archer Do to Give Fashion Advice?

A little something for the ladies...

Hot off the news that excitable British buccaneer Russell Brand would be getting his own animated show on FOX comes this: He will also be getting his own late-night show at FX. Just what the wealthy man married to a busty pop star ten years his junior needs: MORE OF EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME $$$$$$$. A Christmas miracle, indeed.

The untitled six-episode, half-hour series will premiere in the spring. The concept is still being tweaked but the taped show will feature Brand on stage in front of live audience, making commentary on a variety of topics from current events, politics and pop culture and interacting with audience members. “We’re very excited to add Russell Brand’s bracingly funny, original, and honest voice to the FX comedy line-up,” said FX’s EVP original programming Nick Grad. “We look forward to supporting Russell and his partner Troy Miller’s ambition to strip down the hosted comedy format to its most fundamental elements and to create something daring and unfiltered for the FX audience.” [Deadline]

It’s got to be the accent, right? I mean, it’s not that Russell Brand is entirely unfunny or anything, but… two shows? Really? I swear to God, it is AMAZING what you can get away with in America if you have a British accent. Russell Brand bounces around stage saying creepy sexual stuff to our women, Simon Cowell insults our singers and bickers with our loopy former Laker Girls (a treasured American resource), and we just keep throwing money at them. Hugh Grant could burn my damn house down, and, as long as he did that thing where he goes “Right right. I terribly sorry” while looking at his shoes and running his fingers through his hair, I’d probably forgive him before all the smoke cleared.

This has to stop. Let’s have some self-respect, America.

Still looking for the perfect Christmas gift to pre-order for the Oedipal-obsessed, Burt Reynolds-admiring, mulatto butts-loving, alligator-fearing, scotch-drinking person in your life? Well, here you go: on January 17, Harper Collins will publish How to Archer: The Ultimate Guide to Espionage and Style and Women and Also Cocktails Ever Written. It’s written by Adam Reed and the rest of the “Archer” team, and “written” by Sterling Archer himself. According to Harper Collins’ website, the book will show you:

What to wear; what to drink; how to seduce women (and, when necessary, men); how to beat up men (and, when necessary, women); how to tell the difference between call girls and hookers (hint: when they’re dead, they’re just hookers), and everything about weapons, secret devices, lying ex-girlfriends, and turtlenecks. In a word? How to Archer.

It’s only $10.87 on Amazon — or less than the cost of buying the mp3 of “Danger Zone” 11 times.

For years, HBO was the king of the promo. Their between-seasons trailers for “The Sopranos” and, in particular, “Six Feet Under” were a thing of beauty. I still occasionally watch the Nina Simone-scored promo for season four of “SFU”; it said everything you needed to know about the show in less than three minutes. Namely, DEATH IS EVERYWHERE.

But call 911, because someone’s committed regicide: FX has slain the king. Their promos have become increasingly awesome over the past couple of years, and they’ve outdone themselves with the teasers for season three of “Justified,” which premieres on January 17, 2012. The newest one’s got angry Boyd! Angrier Raylan! People crashing through glass! Um, Subway! It’s pretty great. View it after the jump, as well as the trailer for season six of “30 Rock,” featuring a WNBA booty-shaking Liz and Kelsey Grammer.

Sons of Anarchy (FX) — Part 1 of a two-part season finale. I watched tonight’s and next week’s episodes last night, my last-ever Warming Glow screener. It’s good, but there’s nothing mind-blowingly awesome. I was surprised by how neatly certain plot lines got tied up, but other than that all of the notes sound pretty familiar: Gemma schemes, Tara goes crazy, secrets are revealed, and the neutralization of one threat to the club only results in a new threat. Oh, and Lincoln Potter turns out to be a lot cooler than I thought.

The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show (CBS) — D’oh! I already uploaded the “Sons” banner picture, thus ruining a perfectly good excuse to post pictures of supermodels in ridiculously ornate lingerie. Ah well, inset photo it is. Also featuring performances from Kanye West, Maroon 5, and Cee-Lo Green. (hi-res of Miranda Kerr here)

New Girl (Fox) — Jess (Zooey Deschanel) starts a handbell chorus for teenagers, thereby guaranteeing they will never be popular. I’m not sure if Justin Long is still around in tonight’s episode, but I certainly hated him exactly as much as I expected to in the Thanksgiving episode.

Man vs. Wild (Discovery) — Bear Grylls takes you behind the scenes of the series. I’m guessing the revelations DON’T include him showing the nice hotels he stays at. Zing!

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (CBS) / Scrooged (AMC) — Between these tonight and “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” last night, we are now only A Christmas Story away from all the truly great Christmas programming. I was legitimately terrified of the Abominable Snowman when I saw “Rudolph” as a kid.

LATE-NIGHT GUESTS: Kathy Bates and Jay Mohr on Leno; Shaquille O’Neal on Kimmel; Margaret Cho on Ferguson; Betty White on “The Daily Show”; Nathan Fillion and Morrissey on Conan; and Jesse Eisenberg and Piper Perabo on Fallon (I desperately want musical guest Neko Case to sing “Can’t Fight the Moonlight”).

FX has announced the January premiere dates for “Justified” and “Archer,” AKA “Why I Watch Television.” Circle these dates on your calendar: Tuesday, January 17th for “Justified” and Thursday the 19th for “Archer,” which will be paired with the new animated comedy “Unsupervised.”

[It] was created by “Sunny” writers Rob Rosell, Scott Marder and David Hornsby, and has a voice cast including Justin Long, Kristen Bell, Fred Armisen, Romany Malco, Kaitlin Olson and Alexa Vega, along with Rosell and Hornsby themselves. The show is about a pair of teenage best friends, Gary and Joel, trying to do the right thing with no parental supervision. [HitFix]

I can take or leave this new show. Right now I’m kind of mad that it’s distracting me from the point: people, we are a mere MONTH AND A HALF away from new seasons of “Justified” and “Archer”! That’s thirteen fresh episodes of Timothy Olyphant’s wry smile and H. Jon Benjamin’s deadpan delivery — UHHHH, I mean braless Natalie Zea and Lana Kane in her knockoff Fiaccis because I like girls! IS SHE A SEXY CARTOON OR WHAT?