We all stopped watching “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire” years ago, and that’s a damn shame, because Meredith Vieira is the sexual harassing-est game show host since Richard Dawson groped his way around “Family Feud.” In this spectacularly awkward clip featuring a Navy pilot in summer whites, she does everything short of grinding on his leg and reaching into his pants. It’s a good thing YouTube hasn’t developed smell-o-vision, because otherwise your computer would reek of red wine and pheromones (Vieiromones?) right now.
In conclusion, Meredith Vieira thinks “Cougar Town” is a really good show.
Wayne Brady is hosting the new version of “Let’s Make a Deal” when it returns to TV in the fall. It should easily assume the mantle of the preferred daytime game show for hungover unemployed people because Drew Carey continues to be an abortion on “The Price is Right.” But it’s also significant because Brady would be one of the few black game show hosts ever. Nobody seems to know who the first one was, because, exactly, they’re game shows and nobody cares.
Q: We were scratching our heads and trying to think who was the first African-American to do a network game show? We came up with Bill Cosby and maybe Whoopi Goldberg, but you would probably know that better than anybody.
A: Yes, because of the meetings where the African-Americans … what the hell? Why would I know that better?
Because you’re the black guy we’re talking to right now! That makes you the spokesman of the race!
The room erupted with laughter. Then there was a bit of an awkward pause. Then Brady continued.
“I consider myself very fortunate since I started doing ["Whose Line Is It Anyway"] in 1999. I’ve been part of a few firsts. And I don’t know if I’m the first because you’re right. The great thing about Fremantle and CBS reaching out to me, I think, speaks volumes to what I’ve been saying my entire career. Yes, I think it’s great to be one of the only African Americans, I think, a network would consider bankable and can reach out and do this. But it’s not about color or anything.
‘I think that I’m one of the only guys on TV that can pull off this particular show because of the skill set. The fact that I happen to be a 21-year-old black man makes it even better in the sense that other kids sitting at home can see me doing that job and go, ‘I can either be president or I can be the host of a game show.’ God bless America.”
This show is going to debut right around the time The Princess and the Frog opens, which marks the first black Disney princess movie, so I guess it’s good that we can knock out two pointless race-related cultural milestones at once. Obviously, more diversity in high profile media jobs is a very, very good thing, but I think I’ll sit out this session of patting ourselves on the back for being post-racial America.
So a priest, a rabbi, an imam, and a Buddhist monk walk into a room with 10 atheists… No, seriously. It’s a new game show called “Penitents Compete” proposed by Turkish TV station Kanal T in which converts would win a trip to either the Vatican, Jerusalem, Mecca, or Tibet. This sounds amazing to me. Of course, if you can find something awesome, you can look outside and there’ll be religious people picketing:
But religious authorities in Muslim but secular Turkey are not amused by the twist on the popular reality game show format and the Religious Affairs Directorate is refusing to provide an imam for the show.
“Doing something like this for the sake of ratings is disrespectful to all religions. Religion should not be a subject for entertainment programs,” High Board of Religious Affairs Chairman Hamza Aktan said.
Yeah! Making religion entertaining cheapens what religion’s all about: judging other people and bombing them for their beliefs.
On Saturday night, Cartoon Network debuted “BrainRush,” a game show in which teens answer questions while riding a roller coaster. Or at least a game show in which this one kid answered questions while riding a roller coaster. It’s a simple idea that doesn’t sound particularly special, but believe me when I say this clip is hilarious. Something about trying to concentrate while screaming “HOLY CRAP!” just gets to me.
Also, bonus points to this kid for wearing a t-shirt that has penguins wearing sunglasses. Ha ha, those penguins don’t care about nothin’! I hope somewhere on that shirt it says “Just chillin’.”
(clip via Videogum)
I don’t speak Japanese, but translation for this video shouldn’t be a problem, as its primary tongue is the universal language of breasts. Yes, the entire clip is hot Japanese women in bikinis doing things like jumping up and down, doing the limbo, and eating bananas, so there just isn’t a whole to translate.
In fact, half of everything the male bystanders say is “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ho ho ho ho!” It sounds like a less resonant version of Jabba the Hutt when he had Princess Leia in the metal bikini. So apparently, no matter where you are in the galaxy, “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ho ho ho ho!” always means “Nice boobs.”
The Game Show Network is actually going to host and air the first-ever Game Show Awards to honor “classic and modern game shows.” Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “That sounds f-cking idiotic and pointless.” But wait until you hear more about it before you rush to judgment.
Special honors are on tap for now-retired host of The Price is Right Bob Barker, Let’s Make a Deal’s Monty Hall and game show producer Mark Goodson, who produced Price, Family Feud, I’ve Got a Secret and dozens of other programs…
The awards show will also be a game show itself, with the studio audience given a shot to win prizes by playing some of their favorite games on stage.
So, yeah. F-cking idiotic and pointless. Does Bob Barker really need to be honored? It’s not like he did cancer research or saved lives or built schools in impoverished nations. He read note cards and held a skinny microphone for a couple decades. All things considered, I think banging the show models is more than enough of a reward.
Full list of nominees below. “Oooh, Jeff Foxworthy! He brings such gravitas to that show with the functional retards!”
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