This clip from “Family Feud” was destined for viral fame the moment the survey “something you put in your mouth but don’t swallow” was taken. After Team Forsythe wins the face-off with “gum” — not the rhyming word I expected — host Steve Harvey approaches Magen, a pastor’s wife who’s certain that one of the answers is “sperm.” She justifiably gets the big red X, because most Americans know that semen is supposed to be swallowed. A better answer would have been “penis.”

[Gawker via The Daily What]

Actor Jaleel White — don’t call him Urkel, he hates that — will host a new Syfy series called “Total Blackout.” It’s basically the same thing as ABC’s “Love in the Dark,” minus the love.

The a comedic game show in which contestants battle each other and their fears in a series of challenges. However, there is a twist — all the challenges are played in complete darkness. There are no lights, no blindfolds and no-holds barred as the players face their fears and unexpected surprises in a series of nerve-wracking games. [Accidental Sexiness via TV Tattle]

The show will begin production in L.A. next week, but there’s no premiere date set yet. I’ll let you know when it airs so you can be sure to have dinner plans that night.

We scoff, but at least this is steady, legitimate work. It’s hard out there for ’90s TV nerds. I saw Dustin Diamond begging for change on the subway the other day and gave him 25 cents. I’m kidding, of course. I would never give a panhandler money.

(image via BuzzFeed)

"I regret nothiiiiiiing!"

101 Ways to Leave a Game Show (ABC) — Season finale. From Yahoo: “Tonight’s ejections all have a nautical theme, so losing contestants will be strapped to an anchor and tossed into the sea, dropped into shark-infested waters, and dumped into the ocean while in a cart full of fish.” The future is now.

Deadliest Catch (Discovery) — Season finale. Followed by a behind-the-scenes special about the show. Is this still about crabs? Because I ran out of STD jokes for this show four seasons ago.

Nail Files (TV Guide) — Season finale. Why does TV Guide have programming? Dammit, you’re supposed to tell me what’s on other channels.

Awkward (MTV) — Word on the e-streets is that this isn’t too bad. Can anyone tell me if that’s true, or if it’s just a mediocre show that looks excellent compared to the years of terrible programming MTV’s aired?

Frontline: The Pot Republic (PBS) — “Frontline” takes a look at California’s marijuana business. I have a feeling that California will either save or destroy America.

I’m warning you: this clip from “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?” will corrode your brain cells and diminish your IQ. In it, contestant Jennifer selects the category “Second Grade Measurements” and is given this problem to solve:

If Jacob stands on Spencer’s shoulders, they are two and a half yards high. How many feet is that?

Now, I’m pretty bad with math. I had to close one eye and furrow my brow, but within about five seconds of reading that problem I settled on “seven and a half feet.” However, as I watched Jennifer attempt to figure out this problem, I started second-guessing myself.

Her initial hunch is “a football field,” which shook up my established notion of how tall two boys should be. Then, as she struggles to remember conversion rates (she thinks there are 352 feet in a yard), I started thinking, “Wait, ARE there only three feet in a yard? Or is it six?” Then she talks about the college chemistry class she took at TCC in Texas  (Tarrant County College), and I went through my math again, thinking that maybe I needed Avogadro’s number somewhere in the equation (HOW MANY MOLES ARE IN JACOB AND SPENCER?). Finally, Jennifer takes a peek at her fifth-grade counterpart, a girl who has determined that the answer is 78 feet. Now, 78 feet is a preposterously stupid answer, even for a child in the American school system. Just absolutely moronic. But it’s still closer to the actual answer than Jennifer could possibly get, so she says “78 feet” and does NOT get the $2000 she could have gotten for not being an imbecile.

[via Reddit and BuzzFeed]

Yikes: on Saturday night, the Canadian version of “Cash Cab” finished up a night of shooting by hitting and killing a 61-year-old pedestrian.

The show had finished filming for the night and a producer was driving the mock yellow cab back to a storage area when the accident occurred, the show’s production company, Castlewood Productions Inc., told The Vancouver Sun.

“Our thoughts and prayers are with the victim and his friends and his family. My heart also goes out to the driver of the vehicle, a member of our technical staff, who is shaken and devastated by this tragic accident, as is our entire team,” the company’s president, Andrew Burnstein, told The Sun. [NY Daily News]

No charges have been filed, but if that producer drinks on the job half as much as I do, she’s in serious trouble. And yeah, I’m assuming the producer was a woman. Whether or not that’s true, I stand by the logic that helped me jump to that conclusion. JOURNALISM!