There’s long been talk of a live-action “Star Wars” TV show, and George Lucas has completed 50 hours’ worth of scripts for the project. Thankfully, the technology needed to make the show a reality doesn’t exist yet.

Lucas told G4TV, the techie cable channel, that — in TV terms — he has scripts for two seasons of the new “Star Wars” series already written. But the series is awaiting the development of “a different type of technology we can use so it’s economically feasible to shoot the shows.” He did not say what the breakthrough would do, only that it was “just a very, very difficult process.” [NY Post]

If the notion of Lucas, the man who made Indiana Jones and the Magic Alien Skull and Buried Spaceship, making a “Star Wars” TV show doesn’t terrify you, perhaps you need to remember that he said the series would be “Deadwood meets The Sopranos in space” and could go on for twenty years. At this point, the only difference between George Lucas and a rambling homeless derelict is the hundreds of millions of dollars Lucas has. Also, hobos don’t eat cats.

The first draft of Lucas's letter was a fart in an envelope

Last Thursday, ABC had some kind of “Lost” party to celebrate executive producers Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof for successfully mindf*cking millions of viewers too addicted to mystery to stop watching the show. George Lucas even wrote Team Darlton a letter congratulating them and offering advice. The text of the letter:

Congratulations on pulling off an amazing show. Don’t tell anyone … but when ‘Star Wars’ first came out, I didn’t know where it was going either. The trick is to pretend you’ve planned the whole thing out in advance. Throw in some father issues and references to other stories — let’s call them homages — and you’ve got a series.

In six seasons, you’ve managed to span both time and space, and I don’t think I’m alone in saying that I never saw what was around the corner. Now that it’s all coming to an end, it’s impressive to see how much was planned out in advance and how neatly you’ve wrapped up everything. You’ve created something really special. I’m sad that the series is ending, but I look forward to seeing what you two are going to do next. [Zap2It]

Sage advice from the executive producer of Howard the Duck. Hey, was anyone else surprised to learn that doing three prequels two decades after Star Wars wasn’t part of Lucas’s original plan? Man, that guy is SMOOTH.

How embarrassing! Boba Fett thought the invite said ‘business casual’

Late last week, Sci Fi Wire reported that a live-action Star Wars TV series is in pre-production in Australia, as producers are seeking out “high-quality writers” (read: not George Lucas) to write a full season to air in 2010.  In case you’re unfamiliar with the notion of this coming to fruition, Slashfilm summarized the history of executive producer Lucas’s vision for the show:

[Lucas] has said several times that the show would run at least 100 episodes, and at one point there was word that could be upped to 400 [so, between five and twenty years - Ed.]. He has described the show as “Deadwood meets The Sopranos in space” [translation: "CGI racial stereotypes meet a toy franchise in fan fiction"] and repeatedly claimed that no major characters from the films would be integral parts of the storyline, but that some characters could show up as cameos. The Empire will be rising in the background, and we’ll hear about the Emporer [sic], but not see him.

Early last year, producer Rick McCallum confirmed that Boba Fett would be “an instrumental part” of the new series (contradicting the ‘no major characters’ rule? or downgrading Boba to a minor character in the eyes of McCallum and Lucas?) which is set in the transitional timeline between Episode III and IV. Later it was reported that McCallum wants to see Daniel Logan, the young Boba Fett from the prequels, in the Fett armor for the series.

Sorry, I’m gonna have to not watch this in advance.  George Lucas already took three piping-hot liquid dumps on my childhood memories.  But I won’t fault you for giving it a shot.  Hey, some people are into Cleveland Steamers.